This is a UPS rant.<\/p>\n

I know they suck. I’ve heard the Crank Yanker tapes and seen the UPS 1-800 phone hijacking site, but do you think I listen to reason? Good lord no! They’re in my neighbourhood and closer than a post office (where the hell are<\/strong> the post offices these days?) so I used them to ship two identical boxes to Mike in Vancouver.<\/p>\n

Two weeks ago. Two boxes. Identical. Going to the same address. Same day. $60+tax. 5 buisness days later, I get a call from the store on the Danforth saying that there was no door call number for Mike on the package. I email Mike for his buzz code. “It’s on the entry panel under my name,” he says. I can hear him roll his eyes from here. I call the Danforth UPS store back with his phone number and buzz code. Two days later, I get an email from Mike saying he has the delivery.<\/p>\n

Wait 4 business days. Yesterday I get a call from an unidentifiable UPS store. The box I sent came back unaccounted for. Huh? I email Mike. “Were there two?” he asks. I can hear his eyes scrape the back of his head, they’re rolling so hard.<\/p>\n

I call the UPS store.<\/p>\n

“Hi, Ted here, I got a message from one of your staff saying a box I sent to Vancouver came back unclaimed?”<\/p>\n

Pause.<\/p>\n

“Can you help me?”<\/p>\n

“I could if I could hear you,” says the cheery voice.<\/p>\n

I repeat myself louder into the phone. “I sent two on the same day, to the same address.” I finish up. “He got one.”<\/p>\n

“Those retards!”<\/p>\n

I”m beggining to think that I am<\/em> on an episode of Crank Yankers.<\/p>\n

“You’ll resend, I’m assuming?”<\/p>\n

“Yeup!”<\/p>\n

“Do you need a phone number and buzz code for that box? I! Bet! You! Do!” I add sarcastically.<\/p>\n

“Yeap!”<\/p>\n

I give it to him. “I’ll email my friend and tell him to expect the box!”<\/p>\n

“I’ll get right on it,” says Dan the cheeriest UPS voice, ever.<\/p>\n

I fear that Mike will never get this box. I have tossed the receipt the day I got Mike’s first email thanking me.<\/p>\n

Kids, always go with your gut. As soon as I walked into that store I knew I was going to have a problem. But then I thought Naaaah. That’s just a funny tv myth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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