<\/a>11. Bible verse<\/strong><\/p>\n

You’re fucking kidding me?<\/p>\n

I haven’t opened that thing in seriousness since I was in grade 6. I’ve flipped through it during boring weddings and funerals and that’s about it. Nothing memorable.<\/p>\n

So I’m going to make up my own:<\/p>\n

“And lo, the people gathered around the glowing dumpster to find the swaddled form of Carbuncle Jim. And Carbuncle Jim did say unto them: ‘Fuck off! Get away from my God damned dumpster!’ And yea verily, the people did move back.” – Book of Shantilly, Chapter 4, Vs 3<\/em><\/p>\n

“Donna held the coupon of 2 for 1 ribs and ripped it in two. She gave one half to her sneaky friend and thus did they provide their unintelligent server with two, 2 for 1 rib coupons. And verily did they lie, saying that their two coupons were actually whole coupons. And like a miracle, the server did give them 4 plates.”\u00a0 – Book of Thieves, Chapter 2, Vs 4<\/em><\/p>\n

“Thou shall not use the word “then” as a measurement of choice. It is a measurement of time.” – Book of Grammar Nazi, Chapter 4, Vs 21<\/em><\/p>\n

“Vincent did come upon a man lying prostate and in repose. Seconds later Vincent was arrested for an indecent act.” – Great Big Book of Sex<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

11. Bible verse You’re fucking kidding me? I haven’t opened that thing in seriousness since I was in grade 6. I’ve flipped through it during boring weddings and funerals and that’s about it. Nothing memorable. So I’m going to make up my own: “And lo, the people gathered around the glowing dumpster to find the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-21L","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7797"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7797"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7797\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}