“Venti Earl Grey Tea, one tea bag, room for milk, please!” <\/p>\n

Yes. I’m back at Starbucks because I seriously cannot handle Tim Hortons service, their staff or even their patrons. It’s like the words “Please” and “Thank you” have been outlawed and replaced with rabid dog-like snarling. I’d rather drink overly strong tea and have a pleasant exchange than deal with the inept dolts at Tim Hortons<\/em>. Call me un-Canadian and I’ll remind you that “being Canadian” mean’s we’re suppose to be polite to each other.<\/p>\n

“Buddy? Excuse me.”<\/p>\n

I turn towards the voice and there is a handsome chap behind me in line. His eyes look a bit hound dog and he shyly asks: “I’m not a tea drinker, what did you just order?”<\/p>\n

“Earl Grey?” I say. Internally I’m thinking “Captain Picard’s favorite drink… How the fuck did you miss 7 seasons of Star Trek?”<\/p>\n

“I’ve been told I can’t drink coffee anymore. Does it have a lot of caffeine?”<\/p>\n

“More than coffee, but you have to take out the bag after 5 minutes or it get’s really nasty.”<\/p>\n

“What do you put into it?”<\/p>\n

“Just like coffee – milk, sugar, steamed milk, lemon. Some do honey.”<\/p>\n

“Okay cool. I really can’t do dairy anymore. Been told to stay off it.”<\/p>\n

“Dude,” I offer with a downturn inflection, as condolences. <\/p>\n

Meanwhile my internal database flips through the reasons you can’t have dairy and come up with syphilis medication<\/strong>. Also, bad cramping and gas<\/strong>. I need to update that database.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Venti Earl Grey Tea, one tea bag, room for milk, please!” Yes. I’m back at Starbucks because I seriously cannot handle Tim Hortons service, their staff or even their patrons. It’s like the words “Please” and “Thank you” have been outlawed and replaced with rabid dog-like snarling. I’d rather drink overly strong tea and have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[20,3],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1zm","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6036"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6036"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6036\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}