I was watching The Porno Channel last Friday night with lots of moans and man-ass and penetration-less, bouncy boob shots. Oh don’t say you haven’t either. It’s called Showcase. Anyway, Showcase broadcasts a bevvy of racy shows that feature women with perfectly augmented breasts, secret German sex clubs and kinky people profiles of persons you might be standing next to, unsuspecting, while travelling on the subway every day. It’s Friday night and things are pumping after 10pm!

Right smack dab in the middle of all this erotic TV is a strategically placed ad featuring Kim Woodburn (I can’t make this up) and her squad of lovely homemakers who try hard to find the most practical solutions to keeping your house and home clean.

Buzz. Kill.

The way they film her is the antithesis of erotic, utterly killing any ideas of amorous advancements. Her head, with her hair pulled back so severely, looks like a spray-tan melon with a bun. Her voice has the perfect school marm tone and she looks out from your TV as if to say “I see what you’re doing to yourself!!”

Bravo, Showcase, for making sure we’re not taking your programming too seriously.