Tag Archives: desire

Full Circle

Personal Bits

The phone rings last night and it’s the Old Audio Dude (my third in line brother), he’s coming to Toronto with Heather and The Mop, my incredibly thick-haired nephew. No really, this kid’s hair is incredible considering he came from our gene pool of hairy backed, thin-on-top family. He can take solace (or sadness?) in knowing that no Mii editor, no Xbox avatar creator, no PS3 Home builder, will every be able to recreate his large, unruly mane.

I digress.

He’s here in town and to give Heather the day to herself, SharkBoy and I are going to treat him to a march down Queen West and a movie (Marley and Me). I think there might be robot shopping involved. Expect pictures. What makes me feel incredibly old and expectant, is the fact that he’s the exact age when I started to come with my Dad to Toronto on business trips and run around alone on the subway downtown (yeah, they use to let 13 year old kids wander the streets alone back in the 70s).

I’m slightly weirded out that this is how the legacy is passed on – trips to the Silver Snail with $20 in his pocket, a ticket to a movie and popcorn, chased down with big gulps of sugar water. That arcade is closed so I can’t show him that – he’s voiced his desire to plug into our PS3/Wii/Xbox combo until his eyes bleed, anyway. If I had more time I’d take him to the Science Centre but that’s too late. Oh well, we’ll teach him the fine art of shopping. Every young lad should learn that early.

All Hallow’s Eve Pt2

Distractions

A meme from The Electronic Replicant so fitting, I can’t pass it up:

What were you last year for Halloween?
Rarrr!
A Luchadore. Often imitated. Often better than yours.

What are you going to be this year?

You Tell Me…

Favorite costume you have ever worn?
For attention, I’ve never got as much as the wrestler. I do remember my sister trying to get me into a Mummy costume and bailing on me when she got half way through. Too many bandages for her attention span.

How do you spend your Halloween?
Lately, on Church Street. I’m a people watcher at heart. But the desire to dress up overtakes that a bit.

Are you or are you not going trick or treating this year?
I hope to trick. Nyuck nyuck.

Did or do you pull Halloween pranks?
I tried to scare my mom once when I was 9 or 10 but being the last of 5 kids, she’d seen it all: the dummy in the chair in a dark room, the panicked yelling of “John’s been hit by a car”, the lawn dart in the back for real…

Do you believe in ghosts?
Sort of. I had a sink tap turn itself on full blast when I worked in a 170 year old jail converted into a traveller’s hostel. Last place in Canada to have a public hanging. Spooky.

Are you superstitious?
I’m not. But I do pray to the fates when I want something.

Do you like caramel popcorn?
Duh.

Have you ever gone in the country to look for pumpkins?
I’ve gone into the country looking like a pumpkin. Gay camping and over-tanning does that.

Have you ever been on a hayride?
I’ve been in a Corn Maze.

Do you decorate your home for Halloween?
First time this year. Mostly cat-safe candles.

Have you ever been to a haunted house?
Where do you live?

Have you ever been to a graveyard on Halloween?
Nope. Too stupid and scared.

Have you ever attended a Halloween party?
Where do you live?

Do you watch scary movies on Halloween?
Not lately. Too busy.

Have you ever had your candy stolen from you?
Yes. At the age of 12. The guy I was with took off suddenly and my costume (I forget what I was) didn’t offer up much notice that there were big kids bearing down on us. I was tackled wondering why my friend was racing away from me. I hope the fucker (friend and big kid) is diabetic now.

Did you ever steal any ones candy?
Nope. I was a wimp.

Has anyone ever gotten hurt due to your prank?
What prank?

Have you ever dressed as a witch/warlock?
No. I wanted to be Sci Fi all the way.

Are your parents into Halloween?
When I was 16, my dad and I went to a department store and bought a pair of those cheap vinyl kids jumpsuit costumes with the tounge-cutting slitty mouths. We squeeezed into them and headed out to the apartment upstairs for the apartment building’s party. By the time we climbed the stairs, the seams had burst and we were basically in our underwear. With masks. Dad was Captain America. I was Wonder Woman.

In Times of Economic Troubles…

Celebs and Media, Distractions

…Zack And Miri Make A Porno.

You’ve probably heard of this movie by now. It has nothing to do with Aptow but does have the post-teen comedy sensibilities that he’s been known for and it’s from Kevin Smith. The movie has already gained notoriety for it’s original posters being yanked in the US (portrait shots of the two leads subtlety getting head) and replaced with sarcastic text next to stick figures. Thankfully, Canada has a sense of humour and I get to see Seth Rogan’s happy “O face” every morning on a local bus shelter.

At this point I have to admit that I have a big man/bear crush on Seth Rogan and Kevin Smith: admitted geeks and big funny guys with facial hair, so I’m kind of biased. But after seeing the preview I (and I am sure many others) asked myself “What the hell does Miri see in Zack?” She’s a bit too beautiful to be hanging out/hooking up with someone like Seth in my books, but the trailer makes her look slobbish matching Seth’s re-occurring character choices of the slovenly lovable mensch. It’s typical of Kevin Smith’s movies to have one casting moment where you have to suspend some belief (Uh… Allanis Morrisette as God?). But in getting Traci Lords to do a small part might wipe that all out and redeem his past transgressions.

My second admission is that I, like so many of you out there, have always wanted to be revered/paid for as a sex porno god. If my family is reading, go away. I’ve never acted upon this desire, but there it is.