What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Four

General

Plaid for those causal dinners…

A few months ago I got a call from an agent with a concern for an ad I had just created and sent out over the email database. It was an ad displaying our tours to the Middle East – I used an image of the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, largest mosque in Morocco, third largest in the world:

“You used a mosque in your ad…”

“Yes,” I say.

“I think some agents might take offense using a religious building in an ad.”

I sigh a little, die a little inside and say thank you, I will take that into consideration. Click goes the phone.

Today a manager wanted me to create a press release for a new hire with expressed desire to use a picture of the new guy on an elephant during his trip to Africa. Thing is, the elephant was in a state of full rigidity. That is to say, the pachyderm had a 5th leg. The new guy, oblivious to the arousal of his ride, is smiling like it’s Disney World.

“I can’t use this picture!” I say to the manager.

“Why? Everyone knows elephants have penises!” She was 90% serious. I think. “Come on! Elephants don’t have a fly and pants to zip up into. People should be use to that stuff.” Nope. She was 100% serious.

“They have trunks,” I offer. Ba-dam damp.*

So to recap usable marketing materials: The world’s third largest mosque = not acceptable, a honking large elephant cock = Sure thing!

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*I cropped the picture to show only the new guy and the big smiling head of the elephant.

What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty Three

General

I guess this is the closest I’ll get to a floral print. I mean it is floral, but it’s not goofy loud. I like this print a lot. It’s graphically gay.

Today in a 4 hour long meeting, as three managers battled over the necessity of whether or not two web form elements needed to be “mandatory” or not, I didn’t get frustrated or angry at all. No. Not one iota. Instead I went to my happy place: I thought about the second day on the ship where I plan to just wander, take goofy pictures and eat stuff that doesn’t move. I thought about the Friday night before the trip where I repack this mess (yes, I will have to figure out where that helmet is going) as SharkBoy and I put on a concert DVD of our choice. The concert DVD is pretty much a welcome tradition now that I look forward to. I think this time will be Pet Shop Boys in South America. But things can change…

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Hey Ash! Whatcha Playing? Orson Scott Card is a Dyke

Celebs and Media, Gaming, Queer stuff

I just finished Ender’s Game a week ago and thought, ok… I can see how this would rile up some people. Kids being killers, unrealistic portrayal of child geniuses, ends justify the means, bla bla bla. But I thought the newly revised forward was much more interesting, where Mr Scott Card (Or is it just Card?) rants on for page after page of how much trouble his book stirred up and how many people responded saying he was a literary god. I swear to you it’s 40 pages of ego masturbation that crosses over the borders of embarrassing into megolomanialand. Much like a blog, really.

El Yawn-o.

I know. I shouldn’t pay this homophobe any attention other to mock him with signs that say “I Have a Sign!”, but I got caught up in the hype and thought I should read one from him, if just to figure out what makes him so controversial. I can assure you, after gnawing through that forward alone, I’ll never bother again. No the book wasn’t that shocking – maybe it was in the 70’s, like a meddling John Hughes film, but it doesn’t stand the test of time in a post 9-11, liberty eroded society. What actually made me think this man a dork was his comments about same sex marriage, utter flabbergasting and so tired (open the link, read the first paragraph and die a little inside. That’s all you need.).

Take heart in knowing there are people out there who can make light of the whole “Should an avid gay gamer buy an amazingly developed game that puts money into a homophobe’s pocket?” conundrum. HAWP’s “Ash” has impeccable comic timing. I wish she was my best friend.

Video Via GayGamer

What’s In the Suitcase? Day Thirty Two

General

Intimate friends will know that for two “sessions” running I used this same shirt for my passport, drivers license and Health Card identification photo. The first year it happened, it was an utter fluke – I just happened to wear it on the various days I updated my IDs. The second ’round I made a point of wearing it for each new ID shoot.

Unfortunately the rules changed and since then they only use chin to top of head cropping so not much is showing in new photos. The shirt, however is one of my faves since it’s achieved this level of soft worn comfort that takes years to get to. C’est la vie

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What’s In The Suitcase? Day Thirty One

General

You knew this was inevitable.

Like Chekhov says (the playwright, not the navigator) “If you mention a cruise of fatty loud obnoxious people, then it stands to reason there will be loud obnoxious shirts.”

I’m paraphrasing.

Here’s my first one: actually it’s Roots so don’t go all “Oh lordy Dead Robot! Where in hell did you find that shirt!?”

I never understood why vacation shirts have such a bad rap. Or why they’re “cliche” if they’re a bit flashy. Personally I would love to dress like this all the time but thankfully I married into good taste. He allows me to wear this only on vacation – I like it because it looks like pj tops.

And by the way, PJ tops or bottoms out in public is as stupid as having your jeans as low as your mid thigh. This old man has spoken.

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What’s In the Suitcase? Day Thirty

General

Ooo The days are flying by, aren’t they? We’re 10 business days away from vacation! Woot! 1.5 weekends to go! Two laundry sessions!

As a very special episode of WITS? I’m giving you, my dear followers, a five-fer: Five shots of the caps I’m bringing! Clicking them makes them explode big in your eyes!

[singlepic id=211 w=320 h=240 float=none] Hair of the Dog Pub. One of my long time fave. No real memories, just like the faux-Brit drinking (and hirsute womanly) implications.

[singlepic id=212 w=320 h=240 float=none] Toy Machine! With the Chuck Jones-esque logo! Lookit me mange tout le Half Pipe, dudes!

[singlepic id=213 w=320 h=240 float=none] My Survivor Cap. Nothing says subjugated Caribbean island poverty like a big TV show coming in and feeding the natives!

[singlepic id=214 w=320 h=240 float=none] Apple. Just because I want people to think (of me) different.

[singlepic id=215 w=320 h=240 float=none] I … uhm… It’s a moose. I’m being chased by paparazzi… and I… SHUT UP!