New York Stories

General

SharkBoy and I are in line at TKTS in Times Square, hoping to get tickets to Mary Poppins. As we snake along the huge line to the wicket, we’re met with people who ask “if we have any questions about any shows”

Obviously these people are selling their show.

As we pass some eager young man he asks us what show we’re going to see. SharkBoy tells him, beaming with excitement.

“Why don’t just go rent the DVD and watch it?” he moans at us. “Disney took the movie and dropped the whole thing on stage.”

“…Not good?” SharkBoy asks.

“There’s so much more to see!” and dives into a litany of good theatre we should be spending our money on. Thankfully the line moved foreward and our scolding trails off.

Moving forward, we reach another helpful lad who wants to know what we’re spending our valuble time and money on.

“I’m not sure I want to say. That last guy hated our choice!”

“Go on! What are you seeing?”

“Mary Poppins.”

His eyes go dead but his smile says 1000% plastic – “Fannntastic.” he hisses out. And with that he passes us for some other sucker in the line.

What’s In The Bag? Carry On and Keep Calm

General

Congratulations, readers! We made it! This is the last one. Tomorrow I have to repack all this mess and with BioShock 2 in my PS3 right now, I really doubt I’ll have time.

This last pic is my carry on.The whole thing about this series was borne of my anger towards that stupid fuck terrorist with his misguided, lonely, manipulated brain thinking that killing people in the name of religion and politics was a good idea. I’m hoping you get the title of this post.

While my anger towards the people who have marred travel  (possibly?) forever, there are others who piss me off. I’ve learned through many other people’s experiences that you don’t pack expensive things in your bag. It’s a sad fact that there are bad apple baggage handlers, much like any collective of human beings. So all this stuff is coming onboard with me and I will probably suffer a little extra time at the gate to turn on all this stuff and prove it works.

The cat food is bribe to get me through District 9 faster.

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I Too, Have Had Sext Relations With Adam Giambrone

Celebs and Media, Toronto

A few months back I was on the TTC and at Bloor station, Adam G hopped on and immediately whipped out his Blackberry.

I was utterly surprised!

He’s taller than I expected and was quite striking in his finely tailored suit – something you don’t see often on the subway. Even though I knew he was the Chair of the TTC, I thought it odd that he would actually use the Teet as part of his daily commute. I mean come on! He’s the friggin’ chair, right? Limos!

Anyway, he was so intent on getting a message out before the train moved (and killed the signal, I guess) that he huddled over his unit with utmost concern. As quickly as it started, he finished his business and seemed more relaxed and amicable to his surroundings. Was he sexting his current beau? Or another? Or some dude?

That’s actually the end of my story. Can we please leave the poor bastard alone now?

Lenzr Update!

Distractions, Lenzr

Time to look in at Lenzr and see all the funky prizes you can win for being a shutter fly:

First up: Best Gourmet Food: Pretty self explanatory… make yourself some KD, sprinkle some oregano on it, macro lens that puppy and whammo! Prizes! The first prize is an Eastern Ontario wine and brewery tour package plus one night accommodation at Timberhouse in Brighton, ON. The GRAND PRIZE sounds like fun: spend time with The Wine Ladies as they grab material for their wine blog by taking you on an exclusive tour. (My minder described it as a “kooky tour” but I can’t bring myself to type that). Material from the tour may be used in promotional videos or even dah ta da daah… ebook companion media. High tech, eh wot? Kindle yourself!

Second comes Everyday Tangled Web: This one I can relate to. Take a picture of your tangled anything – hair, legs, yarn, wickedness, etc. Personally I have a drawer of dead technology and with dead technology comes massive power bricks and their long tails. Gaah! I hear you say in frustration – Get to the prize! The prize comes from an office phone system company, called S.E. Telecom and they’re giving away a Plantronics Voyager (if you’re not a Blackberry addict, that’s a Bluetooth wireless headset). See what they did there? Wireless…? See? Release your inner cyborg!

Lastly, and not leastly, is Kids In Action: Take a picture of your ADD addled spawn running around in a circle, or on a jungle gym or knocking over cans at Loblaws and post it. You can get yourself a set of really clean choppers! They’re giving away an advanced teeth whitening kit and a year’s supply of dental products including an “armful” of mouthwash, toothpaste, tooth brushes, dental floss; courtesy of a Toronto dentist named Dr. Natalie Archer DDS at Sherbourne and Bloor St. I’ve heard through word of mouth that she’s pretty good. See? See what I did there??

And as a side note, they’ve revamped the voting system to include votes (Popular Votes – visitors to the site don’t have to register but their vote is counted as “1”) and Super Registered Votes (Registered members who have actually uploaded an image get the power of 10x the vote). There is some involved algorithm thingy they’ve factored in but personally this sounds like a marketing dude and a programmer just tried to fix something that might have been broken but I don’t need to see the gory details. Lenzr: if the point is to get people to register and participate, remember the “What’s in it for me?” rule. I don’t wanna know about the math behind it, just make the deal sweet and I’m in! Sandra in the comments says

A thought on scoring: why not allow voting only on the last 5 days of the month?

I’d expand that and say you can vote the entire time, but keep the results hidden until the last 5 days. That might generate some urgency and excitement. Take that as you will, Lenzr. Do you have a Facebook Fan page yet? Twitter? No? What are you doing all day?!

What’s In the Suitcase? Special Edition

General

I’m a bit late in posting something today due to a 10 hour Social Media meeting where we bantered words like “Cool Beans” and “viral” and every reforming of verb for the word “tweet”.

I’m home now and I want to talk to you about underwear! I am bringing enough for the two weeks plus a few emergency pair. Also a pair of boxers to keep by the bed (because I hate housecoats or P.J.s) just in case there’s a knock on the door etc. But this pic is all about the Star Wars underwear that SharkBoy found for me. You can see below that Mark Hamil and his blaster are perfectly positioned right over my goods. And look how good Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher look! Timeless!

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Also, you can see my… Wait. What was that?

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Someone stuffed something under my completely disheveled clothes…

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Oh…? OH… OH MY GOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!11!!!1one!!

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I married right.