Three Shot Sunday

Personal Bits

I’ve just come off two weeks of working 9am to 5pm, 5pm to 9pm, with a weekend of obligations in between, so my time with SharkBoy had seriously taken a hit. I believe that these last two weeks have been the most time we’ve been “apart” since we got married. I airquote apart because I would see him for the couple waking hours we had during the weeknights.

To celebrate, SharkBoy dragged us out of the house at 8:30am this morning. He scolded me for wearing a tee shirt while he put on a nice pink golf shirt – which I thought was a bit dressy for a Sunday morning without any hope of going to church – I would later learn why my manner of dress would come into play, but at the time I thought nothing of it. We grabbed a tea, some breakfast and a nice long walk. We hit the AMC at Dundas Square for an early showing of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

We have certain Disney movie obligations, being superfans.

It was ok. Very Bruckheimer. The Fantasia homage in the middle of it was a bit lacking, but it ran along in a great summer movie kind of way. Nice to see the Borg Queen getting work so long after Star Trek. I’d give it a 3 out of 5 wands.

At the end of the show, SharkBoy says “Come on! We have 30 minutes to get to the other theatre for Inception!” and we take off for the next theatre.

As we’re walking past the Opera House, he suddenly announces: “I gotta pee. Do you think they’ll let me in to use their washroom?”

The front of the Opera house has people milling about and I assume there’s a matinee performance.

“I doubt they’re going to let you…”

“Are you coming in too?” he asks as he mounts the stairs.

“I’ll… I um…” I’m a bit stunned at SharkBoy’s pipe dream of getting past the ticket takers with a lame excuse of needing to pee. Does he really think they’re going to let him in?

“What if I gave you this?” and he produces two tickets to Miss Saigon.

The past couple weeks I’ve been focused on my extra job – money for our vacation in the winter. I had forgotten completely that I wanted to surprise him with tickets to this show. I go a bit lumpy throat and laugh. He wanted me to be dressed up a bit so I wouldn’t feel out of place – everyone was in nice clothes and I was ratty Sunday bomb abouts.

He is the master of surprises.

“Consider it a great start to your birthday week.”

“So… no Inception?” I joke.

The show was very good. I’ve never seen it, but had heard some songs from it. I really enjoyed it – despite there being what we jokingly call a “PEW PEW” moment. Backstory: During Toronto’s last showing of Phantom of the Opera from a travelling company, the “falling” chandelier took forever to go from roof to stage and the Phantom’s flaming pyrotechnics were lame (hence the ‘pew pew’). We had a giggle while the full sized chopper in Miss Saigon descended to the stage and the rotor blades were no bigger than a ceiling fan’s. Other than that, it was a fantastic show.

As we left the theatre we looked at each other and decided that being decadent and going to see Inception was still on the books. We ran to the 5pm showing and I LOVED IT. One of my top 10 movies for sure. I can’t say anything more than what Roger Ebert wrote about it a couple days ago. A smart movie in the middle of dumb summer stuff. Yay!

So here we are back at home over 12 hours from when we left after a day of laughter, song and adventure escapism. What a day.

I can’t tell you how much I love my husband. He made the stress and fatigue of the last two weeks dissolve away.

Re-Imaging Movies

Celebs and Media

Love ’em or hate ’em, the trend of remaking and “re-imaging” movies won’t go away due to the shocking amount of money we the public lay down on a Saturday night date. You better get use to it.

With Tron: Legacy wrapping up, Joseph Kosinski is slated to start work on another Disney sci fi: The Black Hole which fills me with equal parts of glee (the visuals coming out of Tron are quite amazing) and dread (I hope to god they get a good writer and someone who knows how physics work in space). My only hope for the film is that they get an engineer/artist to recreate the beauty that was the Cygnus, the doomed ship that would venture into the black hole. Though the movie was crap, the design of the ship was the star. Probably one of the last greatest movie model props ever.

I’d like to see Mad Max re-imaged. I would shed no nostalgic tear if they did. When I saw it the first time as a kid on TV, I loved it, but I could tell that it was hacked to pieces for TV. And the version they showed was the one where Mel Gibson’s voice was removed because he was swearing like a sailor is accent was deemed too strong. When I did see the original cut years later, I was impressed and still loved the core of it, but it was like discovering Heidi Montag while she was in mid-surgeries. But only as if I cared about Heidi in the first place. Okay that comparison doesn’t work but you get it.

Speaking of Mel, another I’d love to see redone is Fahrenheit 451 (Filthymouth McNastytounge owns the rights for some weird reason). The original, while highly stylized in a groovy late 60s way, is a snoozefest. I’d love to see it redone as a commentary on digital copyright management. The big scene at the end when Montag (weird… coincidence?) discovers the colony of living books, I’d love to see him try to talk to one of the “books” and they reply with “I’m sorry. I’m only compatible with Amazon’s Kindle. Would you like to purchase one now?” He falls to the ground and with a truck out sky shot, screams “Noooo!” to the heavens.

One other one that would be curious to see redone is Crusing. Actually… thinking about it, nothing would change. Never mind. Move on.

Imagine if they redid Airport? Yeah. Can’t see it without some New York Times article about how it relates back to 9-11. Again, move on…

Do you think Christopher Lee would step into his sleek jumpsuit to revisit his role as Captain Ramses in Starship Invasions? I’d pay to see that. I remember this one as a kid and loved how everyone in the movie just wanted to commit suicide. Fun!

Here’s a short list of movies I wouldn’t lose sleep over (yet would go see if the trailer alone aroused nerd wood out of me) if they re-imaged or remade:

  • Saturn 3
  • A Boy and His Dog
  • Battle Beyond The Stars
  • Barbarella
  • The Last Starfighter (seriously the CGI in it is “quaint” but needs freshening up)
  • Sophie’s Choice

One Million Years Old

Distractions, Queer stuff

I’m standing with a co-worker at my night job.

“I have a new thing,” he tells me. “I like leaving obscure videos running on the monitors.”

What a fun idea, I think. I don’t want to be subversive but it’s a fun way to inject personality into a retail job.

He continues:

“I get next to girls and put on Usher videos from YouTube and they’re all like whaaa?”

Facepalm.

I suggest: “Next time try Klaus Nomi.”

“Who’s that?”

“David Bowie’s dress designer from the 70s.”

“He wore dresses?”

Double facepalm

He wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes back.

“Dude…” is all he can say.

Not Gone

Distractions

Hey readers and readettes. I’m just past the midway point on a grueling 2 weeks of a horrific work scheduling accident where I’m working 60hrs each week. Yeah. I’m tired. SharkBoy’s face has become a memory and I come home to a sleeping/sleepy husband. With the heat I’ve been sleepless and wake only feeling partially rested. I can’t wait for this to be over.

Last night saw me hauling a 275lbs computer into the Apple store at the Eaton Centre. It’s amazing the kinds of looks you get when you drag one of the Mac Pros through a crowd. All aluminum and grill venting. And sweat – those fuckers are heavy. People were staring like I was carrying a time machine or a machine that warps time or a big aluminum box that keeps time correct. Worry not, though, the problem was only a Kernel Panic Attack, which was deftly repaired within minutes at the Genius Bar. The taxi fare was 100% more expensive than the repair.

On top of that, work has greatly hindered my internet access (go figure – the internet guy can’t see the internet) due to the World Cup, so I can’t bring you the latest cutting edge of interwebs memes. This too shall pass.

I’d promise myself that I’d never apologize for blogging/not blogging but I fear that after these two weeks I may just do that. Meanwhile please enjoy the latest mission from Improv Everywhere: Star Wars Subway Car (via superpunch)

Underlying Politics: Kristyn Wong-Tam

Toronto

Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.

Today: Kristyn Wong-Tam

As we push through the throngs of people during the Pride celebrations on Church Street, a smiley faced woman waves a pamphlet in my over-stimulated field of view. I look down and it has a familiar face on it. Kristyn!

About ten years ago I was painting as a hobby. Massive canvases of single panel outtakes from comics. One day, on a whim, I asked the manager, Kristyn, of Timothy’s at Church and Alexander (the outlet affectionately known as “The Bear Store”) if they had space to hang and sell. She had me showing work within a month. I went on to show stuff there 3 times over the years and would sell out every time (except for the AstroBoy vs Pinocchio – I still have that one).

I told the woman that I knew Kristyn and was happy she was doing something different. The volunteer called Kristyn over and I’m the recipient of warm hugs and huge smiles. She remembered my paintings and complimented me on how successful each showing was. High praise coming from someone who has managed a couple galleries. I turned the love-fest around and said if I wasn’t working two jobs, I would seriously be volunteering for her campaign.

I’m not an overly political person; I’m such a fence sitter I have splinters in my private areas. But with Kristyn I have a good feeling that she would actually work for you. She has that kind of manner that suggests that she’s connected to you when you speak to her, a quality the other two politicians (Joel Dick and George Smitherman) I had met earlier were completely devoid of.  She’s well spoken and knows her neighbourhood, having grown up in Regent Park and also sits on the Church/Wellesley BIA board.

Her campaign slogan should be a simple:  “Connected”.

Follow Kristyn on Twitter

And on her site here.

If you are in her riding, I urge you to vote for her. I wish I lived in it so I could but I’m bloody 3 blocks too far east and have to deal with a lazy manatee of a councilor who thinks it’s ok for fireworks to be shot off within old historic Cabbagetown.

Underlying Politics: Joel Dick

Toronto

Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.

Today: Joel Dick

As Da, SharkBoy and I are walking south on Church Street, amongst the partiers and the politicos, out of the crowd comes a pair of fast talkers – b-lining to us with smiles. Within seconds we’re covered in “I LOVE DICK” stickers. With what was this in regard to?

“I’m running for city council,” says the bright young man with wide smile. And he places a sticker on my father’s chest. “Here. Let me give you some Dick.”

“Oh? I like Dick!” Da says.

“Yes. Yes you do.” I say.

“There seems to be plenty of Dick.” SharkBoy says, pointing at the roll of stickers.

“There’s enough Dick to go around.” I note.

“Everyone seems to want Dick today.”

“My Dick is really sticky!” I say tugging at the sticker.

“I hope this Dick comes off,” SharkBoy says with concern.

“How could you not want Dick on you?” My father asks incredulously.

“Oh I never say no to Dick, I just don’t want Dick stains.”

“True. You would be Dicked, then.” SharkBoy nods in agreement.*

As we walked away from Joel, I realized we didn’t even ask which riding he was running for, or get a sense of his platform. I am sure “riding” and “dick” would had spurred on more heelariouse repartee. But with a name like Joel and campaigning in a crowd of gay men, you just have to go with it.

*Okay the last few I just made up, I couldn’t resist. But you get the gist.

Underlying Politics: George Smitherman

Toronto

Last weekend, while wandering Pride, I met three people who really wanted to talk AT me. You guessed it: hopeful politicians all vying for my vote.

Today: George Smitherman!

We (my father, SharkBoy and I) encountered George Smitherman and his crew right by Church and Wellesley, just in front of the old location of his photo processing store (long gone, replaced by a cell phone outlet). I’ve been wanting to actually meet him because of all the notoriety he’s garnished over the years, especially the diaper fiasco, where he suggested that he would wear an adult diaper to show Ontarians that they were super absorbent and your elderly parents won’t have any trouble sitting in their wastes while they wait for an overworked nurse to come around to change them. Then there was the whole eHealth thing, which is kind of troubling. However, he left the ministry before this all came out. And the concept of government waste was pretty much in motion before he started – “Abuse of power comes as no surprise” as Jenny Holzer would say. The most interesting thing I’ve read about him has been from TorontoLife mag where Gerald Hannon wrote a great article about Stormin’ George. Anyway, when we shook his hand (firm, committed) SharkBoy said “You may be my new boss!” in jest.

He ran with that. In full on politician mode.

We were treated to 15 minutes of how George would seriously cut back in clerical wastes. I glazed over within 3 minutes, distracted by the half naked bodies. Seriously, there are times you discuss business and there are times you show you’re human and have a personality. Standing in 30C, talking over pounding disco music isn’t really one of these times to go “business”. What George was saying was making SharkBoy a bit nervous because when you mention “election” and “cut backs” it reminds him of his last government position when he was laid off from a sweet job right after a provincial election. It was surprising for him to hear it coming from the candidate he was behind, I guess, and he listened politely. I was far too zoned out by this point – the details involving reorganizing yet keeping people’s livelyhood but the realities are of course that there will be resizing of some sort etc etc.

At one point, a minder interrupted George mid-stream, whispering of someone’s alarming actions. George replied to the handler without restraint “He should not have done that…” pause “Ok… ok…” Focus. Back to us. All without losing his train of thought. Kudos.

SharkBoy left our encounter with George with a feeling of doom. I left with a feeling of disappointment. The guy I wanted to back was capable of sucking the life out of Pride. But he will most likely get my vote, due to the vapid choice I’m left beyond him.