5. A song to match your mood
I was going to repost the end song to Portal 2 because it’s rocking my world still. But recently my iPhone served up this song from somewhere deep within it’s bowels. It’s sort of topical with the mention of nuclear energy and religion and stuff but otherwise, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the future I dreamed of as a kid is 90% come true…
Mom and I have never been close. Not that it was a bad thing, but with the whole “husband comes out of the closet” thing and me being gay, she let Dad bring me up. And allowed herself to become the “bad cop” in the discipline department. I was the last of 5 kids and she was ready to start into creating her own life as soon as I was able to walk. I don’t regret her need for independence, it in fact made me more independent than most kids my age. While a teenager, I was an artist and a punk in some ways and she was a tried and true Accountant. You can see the conflict a mile away, like some CW reality TV show, sans Tyra Banks. Yet I’ve always said my mother is the most liberal conservative I know. She’ll reinstate the death penalty for tax evaders yet she is the most accepting person regarding gay marriages I know. I kid. But there is some truth to that. In her mellowing years I’ve noticed that she’s become more traditional and conservative and set in her ways.
After Dad’s death I’ve made a definitive effort to repair our relationship and for the most part it’s coming along nicely. She says she will be making arrangements to move from Brockvegas to Toronto in the near future so she can be closer to family and things she really likes to do (Shop at Holt Renfrew). I’m actually looking forward to it.
My Dad? If you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, you’ll know that I consider him a saint. Here are some posts:
Coming out to my Dad
My speech to Nominate Dad For Pride Grand Marshal
I joke with my father to see if he’ll get back together with mom.
My dad’s fear of blood and hospitals.
On Monday, April 25th, it will, would have been, his birthday. Miss you, you old fart!
Right now my first and foremost love is my PS3 and Portal 2 my husband, SharkBoy. But I think the challenge is requesting me to go back… back… into my beginnings.
My first true love budding homosexual man crush was Randy, my next door neighbour at our summer cottage back in the late 60s, early 70s. I’ve written about him before (See the post here). To this date I have an affinity for shaggy blond dudes, but in retrospect Randy was more like the big brother I wish I had, because all my older brothers saw me as a punching bag (not really, but you know how sibs are). I suspect my “love” for him was more curiosity, because I knew he really didn’t want to hang around with me most of the time – he wanted to get inside the bikini of the girl in the cottage on the opposite lot. Kind of a real life metaphor, I guess.
My first real, dyed in the wool LOVE was my best friend, Rick from Brockvegas. And unsurprising to a ten year old blog, I’ve written about him here. It was an emotional compromise for me (aren’t all relationships?) in the sense that I would rather have him as a friend and keep my true feelings from him, than lose him outright which I knew the truth would orchestrate.
I could go on about my first movie I ever loved (Star Wars, duh) or my first album I loved (The Cars – Panorama) or the first comedian I loved (Bill Cosby – Why Is There Air?) or the first travel experience I loved (running drunk on Brighton Beach) or the first time I loved myself emotionally (lone trip to Chicago) or physically (the basement reck room after one of my brother’s friends explained self-love in extreme, horrifying detail)… or many other firsts, but I won’t. Let’s just sit here and hold hands.
2. Meaning behind your blog name
You want to know the origins of my blog’s name? It’s up there in the right hand corner.
Back in 1997, when the internet was in it’s infancy and nobody used their real names, I was sitting in New Media class and had just read that passage from Asimov a few days before and it was resounding in my head. My teacher, who later became my boss and a good friend, started the class that day by informing us that there was a website where we could get FREE EMAIL SERVICE.
Whhha… FREE?!
Anyone remember Rocketmail.com? Swallowed up by Yahoo in 2001 I think. Long gone. My login name still has the “dotRM” identifier at the end of it.
Meanwhile, back in the past, I sat in front of my monitor trying to think of a name for my email account. When “Dead Robot” hit me I laughed and typed it in. We all shared our emails in class that day and I will never forget one girl making a face like a cat’s ass when I told everyone my address. “Ugh. ‘Dead‘. Why would you use that word in an email address?”
Stupid cow.
Just before the first big internet bubble burst, I was contacted by a Japanese company asking to buy my domain name for just under $10,000. Yeah. Where are you now, you Nippon bastards?!
Nowadays I’ve gained the nickname “DR”, that is “Dee Arr” not “Doctor”. So it’s slowly sticking.
New Feature here on Dead Robot Heavy Industries: When I was looking around for cult films to talk about I realized there are a solid corral of movies that may be covered in shit, but somewhere in the pool of poo, there’s shards of diamondy goodness. Like a Scat Prospector, I’ll wade through all the crap and cultivate the brilliant bits just for you. I call this new feature Pull the Nugget Out.
First up: Battle Beyond The Stars.
Directed by: Roger Corman
Stars: Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, George Peppard
IMDB link
Okay. Stop yelling all at once. Yes, it’s a blatant Star Wars rip off, hoping to cash in on the massive gap between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back. But I think Corman really wanted to make a good movie here and tried to base a lot of artistic (snicker) points on Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai and in part, The Magnificent Seven. So keep that in mind as I serve up the nuggets. Ready? Blast off!!!
Leading man Richard Thomas was hot off that successful TV show The Waltons and wanted to leave the naive hayseed character he played on the show for a… uh… naive space hayseed, destined to defeat the evil space despot. I remember when it was announced he was going to be in a Roger Corman space epic, people started right into the gufawing. While this uncomfortable, yet comforting typecasting didn’t do much to quell the inevitable comparisons to Star Wars, just having Richard on the cast elevated the quality of the movie, theatrically. Most of Corman’s budget for the movie wasn’t on effects but on salaries (George Peppard and Robert Vaughn’s) so there’s indication he was reaching for respectability, which makes this movie full of nuggets!
Let’s just touch upon the rest of the cast real quick:
Robert Vaughn and Richard Saxon – both are awesome. Okay they’re spouting some awful lines (“If you resist, I will crush you. I possess a stellar converter, the most powerful weapon in the universe. You cannot resist me.”) but they’re committed!
Sybil Danning – late 70s vixen brings the inevitable Aryan boobs to the Corman production. She went on to cameo in Tarantino’s Grindhouse as a Nazi werewolf.
Sam Jaffe – You may remember him as the awe struck professor in the original The Day The Earth Stood Still. Here he plays a befuddled body-less professor obsessed with robots who tries to get his daughter knocked up.
Kathy Griffin – Yes. As an “uncredited alien”. My attempts to contact her on Twitter to find out what scene she’s actually in, is replied with silence. What good is Twitter then?!
As for the technical, the first thing I noticed about BBtS right off the top (other than the We’re Just Like Star Wars Font and Credit roll) was its music. It’s surprisingly rousing and well orchestrated, considering this is a Corman production. The music is by James Horner. Yeah, the same guy who tooted Avatar, Titanic and The Abyss (James Cameron worked on this movie too – go figure). Horner also did music for Star Trek 2 & 3. I thought it might be him when a mighty hammer-on-piano-keys BOOOONNNNGGG!! resounded when the villain’s spaceship flew into frame for the first time – like in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Other than that wince-making cliche, the music is amazeballs. Sadly, all of the music is reused in the eye-bleedingly horrid Space Rangers. Horner wept.
The second thing I noticed was the ship designs. The art department outdid themselves with the various ships. I’ve stopped the video when a ship appears on screen to see if I could recognize any model parts, having been an avid model builder in my youth. Happy to say, I have no clue if they used any spare Star Wars parts, but I did see a couple drive shafts and military grade radar dishes. IMDB reports that the Hephastus space station was basically found in a dumpster. Still, they did a commendable job on creating different alien styles.
Which brings me to poor old Shad’s Ship. The flying testicles. Or Boobies, I would have to contend, since this is a Corman production. But come on…! Saggy nutsack!! Tell me you don’t see that. In all the publicity shots, they never show the side of the ship, which resembles a graceful hammerhead shark, or a kid’s slippery ride ’em toy. With a nutsack in the front.
Oh man I could make fun of that ship all day long…
I got this from Topless Robot who boldly says he wouldn’t listen to it until he’s done the game.
I got half way through it and felt guilty and saw a spoiler and then shut it off. Shame, because it’s as catchy as Portal’s end song, from what I heard.
1. Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts
Here’s my pic:
Here’s the facts:
1. I once served Carole Pope oysters at a party.
2. I was “witness” to a knife fight between two quarreling lovers in a flat somewhere in south London. Blood, but nobody died.
3. I have very little passion for anything. I’m pretty plain. I generally keep my opinions to myself.
4. Oh I do have a passion for Science Fiction. Mostly pulp stuff, not much into the new wave of Sci Fi writers and stories, but I can get into the odd new story from William Gibson.
5. I’m a coward. I’d rather run than fight. I’ve never thought fighting was intelligent anyway.
6. I touched a boobie once (not a Galapagos bird). That’s as far as I got with a woman. Though, I did love one once. Like… romantic love.
7. I’ve travelled to London, Paris, Barcelona, Amsterdam, and various places in the US. I’ve taken 4 cruises on large ships. I’d still like to travel like a hosteller, with a pack and one pair of jeans, but in my old age, I’m becoming dependent on a nice private bed and private hot shower.
8. I’m a Disneyphile. I don’t care what you think about that. I find that people who judge unfavorably about anyone over 30 going to Disney usually haven’t been themselves. That or they just don’t “get” Disney.
9. I have over 200 robots in my TV room.
10. I have a special relationship with art. I tried to get into the Ontario College of Art when I was 20 but was refused because the teachers on the judging board thought I was too plain. Too white. Too middle class. This made me travel (see #7).
11. I was trained as a Classical Animator and when I discovered that drawing the same things 1000 times as a career actually sucked, I took on Graphic Design. Then web design.
12. I may change careers when I hit 50 or sooner. Graphic and Web Design has lost it’s importance to me with age. I fantasize about changing careers because my father did when he was 57.
13. I enjoy photography. I would love to photograph erotic art but all I can muster the courage for is a really sharp focus image.
14. With all this art in my life, I harbour a secret from my bosses: I am red/green colour blind. I use HEX colour numbers and identifiable PANTONE codes to get colours when clients ask.
15. I still have nightmares about my father’s death.
I’ve been flopping between too busy at work and not being inspired to write so when I saw Nice To See Stevie B pick up this challenge, I decided to break one of my cardinal rules and copy his idea take up the challenge.
For the next while I will be writing about the following 64 topics and subjects.
1. Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts
2. Meaning behind your blog name
6. A picture of something that makes you happy
10. Something you don’t leave the house without
13. Something you’re looking forward to
17. Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
19. Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
20. Your Dream Wedding
21. Something that stresses you out
22. 3 Wishes
23. 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
24. Your favorite song
25. Your favorite book
26. Your favorite quote
27. A photo that makes you angry/sad
28. A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
29. An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
30. A talent of yours
31. A hobby of yours
32. A recipe
33. A website
34. A YouTube video
35. Your day, in great detail
36. Your week, in great detail
37. This month, in great detail
38. This year, in great detail
39. Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
40. Something you ate today.
41. Your idea of the perfect first date.
42. An animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
43. The item you last purchased.
44. Y our favorite place to eat.
45. A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
46. Your celebrity crush.
47. Something you crave a lot.
48. A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
49. A photo of something that means a lot to you.
50. How have you changed since last year.
51. Something you could never get tired of doing.
52. Talk about a regret you have.
53. Share a story from your childhood.
54. Explain how you got one of your scars.
55. How do you think others view you?
56. A poem you wrote.
57. Tell us about your best friend.
58. A talent of yours.
59. Your deepest fear.
60. Reveal your most guilty pleasure.
61. If you have tattoos, show them. If not, talk about the tattoos you want or why you don’t think they are right for you.
62. Talk about the last “random act of kindness” you encountered.
63. The last thing that made you cry.
64. Say something to your 15 year old self.
Wish me luck! This should cut into my Portal 2 gaming nicely… blarg.
And a blank one for youuuuuu!!!
Sandtrooper Update: It’s been just under 5 months since getting my Trooper armor.
I’ve only worn it twice, and very fleetingly. Just to test the straps and get a sense of how long it takes to try to figure everything out (and discover that I usually fuck up the leg pieces). When I wear it I sort of have to angle my torso when I walk down our hallway: the shoulder poulson hits the artwork displayed in our hall. I’ve not rushed to work on the re-fitting because I’m savoring each upgrade, each modification that makes it mine.
Yet because Halloween is so far away I’ve been scheming up ideas and reasons to wear it out in public, other than joining the Canadian 501st, of course. I’ve thought of creating a short film that incorporates the uniform, or “Sandy” as I’ve come to call him, as a way to give the suit a test run and to wear it out in public.
At the gym yesterday, I had been working out the details for this movie in my head when I came across the cover of Thursday’s Metro News, showing 6’7″ Argo football player Joe Eppele in a Sasquatch costume. Beyond his obvious scruffy hotness there was something else that made me keep the rag and stuff it into my gymbag.
For the rest of the day I was fixated. During my break I started to notice small details in the picture: like how the seam in the crotch could have been sewn better or the fur combed out from between the stitching to hide the seam, that his fingers are actually extended rubber gloves, or that the chest plate was nicely done but didn’t really match the overall look of the suit, and were the upper thighs real or were they padded…?
…Holy shit.
I was waaay too into this.
And then it hit me: What if this was “a thing” for me? What if I really was a Furry? A bonafied “yiff in hell” cosplaying CSI-fodder costume wearing freak that got off on dressing up?
Like a Fight Club changeover the last couple years came flooding back to me one outfit at a time: Mumu trailer park momma, The Luchadore, the Liza Minnelli Jedi, getting into our company’s mascot for a day and really enjoying it, The Gay Werewolf, stealing SharkBoy’s Max from Where the Wild Things Are jumpsuit and now this, the Trooper.
I think this is coming to light because SharkBoy and I have been watching marathon runs of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 2 and catching up on Season 3. Now let’s be clear… I have no desire to do drag, but… I have nothing but utter respect for these ladymens. What they do is a fabulously bizarre mix of technical prowess, gender fucking, comedy and drama, personal or otherwise. The worst drag queen brings something of quality to the table, even if it’s just tragedy. Each episode I’ve marvelled at every outfit and how it could have been created. However, honestly, I have no desire to go that route. Dressing in drag seems too obvious for me, being gay and all. The work to get it right seems to me too labor intensive for the payoff.
I type this as I glance over to my Trooper armor and think about how to stop the feedback inside the helmet microphone and the HOVI TIPS speakers. Too each his own, I shrug.
I do know I’m not a Furry in the sexual sense of the word. I’m not sexually attracted to dressing up. I don’t find anything sexual about it at all and the thought of dry humping someone wearing a plastic cup of a Trooper outfit bores me. However, I do find it intriguing to be someone else. The masquerade. And then I wonder if I have low self esteem because of my desire to mask who I am or am I just having fun? Then I decide I’m being maudlin and figure I think it’s just me, not growing up. If I have one regret in my life it’s that I didn’t get into movie special effect kind of costuming.
There’s a racist joke in the gay community about getting old: When you hit fifty, you’re either into leather or Asians. I think I’m into fake fur.
