Category Archives: Toronto

This wacky city I live in.

The Black Eagle

Toronto

While I’m on the rant of legal justice and moral forgiveness, I noticed today that the Black Eagle is taking a Liquor Board of Ontario Induced Time Out for “overcrowding” during Pride last year.

Here’s the inside poop for you people: the Eagle wasnt overcrowded. Ask any of the people in the line up, waiting over 45 minutes to get up onto the patio. The bar was fully staffed and was doing their job properly. Meanwhile, the prosecutor for the Liquor Board had no proof because the investigators didnt file a complete report, yet still pushed to have the bar closed for 45 days, which would have effectively killed the bar. In front of the judge, it came down to the Eagle’s word against the Liquor Board. Now, to be fair, The Eagle got similar infractions in the past but the bar placed doormen at the top and bottom (tee hee!) of the stairs which is a considerable cost in wages and training. The bar complied and even surpassed their requests with physical upgrades to the bar.

Dispite all the time and money the Black Eagle put into renovations and new hires, dispite the lack of evidence from the investigators, the judge ruled that the bar should be closed for 11 days. To appeal this decision, it would have cost twice the amount as being closed for 11 days so the bar shut it’s mouth.

Now, I’m no lawyer (but my brother plays one on TV!!) but I don’t see the justice here.

My Back Door of Old City Hall Story

Toronto

Dedicated to the Busdriver:

Once, my old boss wanted to contest a parking ticket so he dragged me to Old City Hall. It was that or go into work, so I followed. (insert Daffy Duck soundbite: “Eh! Its a living!” here)

As fate would have it, we took the back door of the Hall. Passing the security desk I got the biggest smile from the cop sitting at the security desk there. I smile back and keep walking. Meanwhile, my boss is digging the ticket out of his wallet and proceeds to ask her where the court room is. I hear “Wait! WAIT!” and I turn to see the cop is completely flustered, waving her arms at me like a lunch lady who’s dropped a tray of jello desserts.

“I thought you guys were cops! This isn’t a public entrance!”

Wow! She thought I looked like a cop! Cha-ching goes the ego!

And that, my dear readers, is my Old City Hall Story.

Teh Ehnd.

Good Friday

Queer stuff, Toronto

I had a super day yesterday walking through High Park. In the years Ive lived in Toronto (off and on since ’84), I have never been in the Park before. Who knew it had Yaks? We must have walked over 8 hours yesterday in the sun and fun. I took some pics and dumped them into the City As Blog gallery.

Last night Sharkboy and I went to MLT’s Resurrection Ball at Fly. Sort of like High Park, I have never set foot inside Fly due to my aversion to stoned drooling morons, high on “party favours”. Yes I am being judgmental on drug use, only because it was so rampant and cliche-ridden that I could have sworn I was on the set of Queer As Folk. In the first hour, I saw guys indiscreetly e-popping pre-dance preparations as they bopped zombie-like to the thumping music. Zombie goombas who think they need to chemical their reality to have a good time. Three times we had super stoned guys come up to us and try to say something to us. One of Sharkboy’s acquaintances came up to him to say Hi and without being introduced to me, he grabbed my arm and dragged me into a lip-claming kiss. Uh. Hello.

We were told to move from where we were standing and that was the last straw. Uh…guys over there are threatening your license by ingesting illegal drugs but you want us to clear away from the foot of a staircase? That we’re not even within 6 ft of? Bye!

We went to the Eagle and had a much better time, thanks.

My Creeds Story

Favorite, Toronto

For the benefit of you non-Torontonians, the Creeds family created an empire for themselves through dry cleaning, fashion and however else you make money in this town. Back in the early 90s, they sold off their clothing retail arm of their company and scaled back greatly their properties for whatever reason. I dont care. At that time, they had a beautiful warehouse at Ave and Dav (Avenue Road and Davenport streets) that they had proposed to carve up into luxury condos. This is my story about viewing the model suite of The Creeds Building:

I enter the suite with my friend Rob, who is doing the actual buying, I’m just along for the ride. He knows this place is way out of his league, but he wants to get a sense of what’s out there as well as snag some happening fixtures ideas.

While Rob is fondling taps and cupboards in the suite, I start looking real close at a set of blueprints on the wall, loving the handwritten technical messages written in such perfect script. A door opens behind me and I turn to see the saleswoman stride purposefully towards me in a perfect Chanel suit. Her hair one solid piece, very much like the Battlestar Galactica helmets from the old TV show. She is the epitomy of “luxury condo saleswoman”. She engages me with welcomes and smiles.

And she smells of fresh fart.

We both acknowledge the smell cloud between us by not acknowledging the smell, but its there in our manner towards each other. I am sure my eyes are screaming “I don’t believe it! Miss Perfect tooted!” while her manner towards me suggested that I should be emptying the office trash cans, not inquiring about marble finishes. I diffuse the situtation by directing her to Rob, the reason for being plunged into this embarassment. She leaves me happily, making me wonder just how many suites they’re going to sell with a stinky salesperson like her.

As we’re leaving Rob says: “Did you smell the one I let go in there?”

Overlooked

Queer stuff, Toronto

I see that blogs are being mentioned around Toronto media lately. eye magazine did a good article about CityBlogs, mentioning photojunkie and Better Living Centre. Congratz!

After that, I got to wondering why the gay community hasn’t latched onto the whole blog thing. Are we too private? Do we not “share” enough? I read somewhere that gay men were more web-savvy than most het men but yet don’t confess their geekdom. Why hasn’t XTRA or fab done an article about prominent queer blogs? I link to two really good gay Toronto bloggers on my roll (right side, down a bit). Curious, thought provoking and always a good read.

I’d love to do something similar to BlogJamDC’s night where a select few bloggers get up and read their favorite entries. I was thinking putting a Bear slant on it (since there seems to be only two types of gay bloggers: twinks and bears) and mix in some beer. But note the mix of bloggers at BlogJam: Conservative bear, bare backer, sporty, ex-party queens. Which would make for a great evening.

iSilence Day 3

Tech, Toronto

If you’re just joinging me in my rant, here’s the original post.

Audio/Opinion:
Nothing. Nada. A few cleared throats and papers rustling. Everyone in my field of vision were reading books or papers. Made me wonder if there was a backlash towards technology when movable type was created. I think there was some incident with the church. Too lazy to google it. I find I am resenting this challenge by Mr Sullivan. I was bored to tears this morning with no voices to listen to. Not even a distant mumbling that would make EVP followers yawn.

Visual:
Bald guy with a nice light brown suede jacket. I thought him brave for wearing it on a possibly rainy day.

iSilence Day 2

Distractions, Tech, Toronto

Friday, March 4th, 6:30pm, Carlton Streetcar

Audio:
“What nigger do I know with the name Cameron with a Winnie the Pooh hat? Hold on. (fudges with his phone) Hulo? Hullo? (repeat seven times). Beet? I know no nigger with that name.” (This guy would be Andrew Sullivan’s nightmare: he was on the phone, talking simo on two lines AND had walkman ear buds with music coming out of them still in his ears as he tried to wrangle callwaiting. The conversation went on from there but as soon as he used the N word, the white people in the car got all “I’m not really listening but I AM”)

“This is Carlton. At Yonge, it turns into College. You’re going the wrong direction.”

“I cannot operate this streetcar while you are over that white line. You will have to move in or get off.”

“What does he think this is, a Democracy? Tell the asshole to get off the steps.” (of the front entrance to the streetcar)

“Just going to squeeze past your napsack there. Its a bit like country dancing.”

Visual:
Asian guy with a folding chair much like they use on WWE, trying to get on a ful streetcar.

Guy on subway who looked alot like Fabio with his leg up on the centre pole, looking alarmingly drunk.

Opinion:
This was a rough trip without my iPod. I got home hating humanity especially having to put up with this double standard racism in my ear. I dont even like using the word “fag” when referring to my friends.

iSilence Day One

Celebs and Media, Tech, Toronto

I’ve been stewing over an article by Andrew Sullivan wrote a while back claiming that the iPod is the first horseman of the apocalypse.

Even without the white wires, you can tell who they are. They walk down the street in their own MP3 cocoon, bumping into others, deaf to small social cues, shutting out anyone not in their bubble.

snip

Get on a subway, and you’re surrounded by a bunch of Stepford commuters, all sealed off from each other, staring into mid-space as if anaesthetized by technology. Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t over-hear, don’t observe. Just tune in and tune out.

snip

Technology has given us finally a universe entirely for ourselves – where the serendipity of meeting a new stranger, or hearing a piece of music we would never choose for ourselves, or an opinion that might actually force us to change our mind about something are all effectively banished.

What gloom and doom! Goodness! Its like he’s never heard of the New York Times vs The Post and the fact that there are open minded people out there who read both. Or that people post things (usually with links) to their blogs that might challenge our thought processes, as Mr Sullivan did with his blog (it would seem the irony is lost here but I am sure its due to his iPod). I remember clearly back in the late 70s when Sony’s Walkman hit the market. The exact whining that the fabric of social interaction was going to unravel like a machine washed Prada sweater went on and on, even so far to see the walkman deemed illegal in certain situations. In my opinion, the acceptance of drugs and alcohol have more to do with the downfall of social interaction than a device that brings us music.

(I) realized I had left my iPod behind. Panic. But then something else. I noticed the rhthyms of others again, the sound of the airplane, the opinions of the cabby, the small social cues that had been obscured before. I noticed how others related to each other. And I felt just a little bit connected again. And a little more aware. Try it. There’s a world out there. And it has a soundtrack all its own.

I decided to “try it” and leave the iPod, Gameboy and books at home while travelling on public transit for seven days (the only time I actually use these to shut out the world). No distractions. Pure observations. I will record what I’ve heard (and seen if its of any importance to my spiritual growth) here daily. This may bore you and I hope it does. Apparently Mr Sullivan wants you to experience “life” in its yawning fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Day 1!

Audio:
Woman on cellphone: “I know. I am on the streetcar right now. I am headed to the office. No. No. (pause) (heavy sigh) NO. Look. No.” (it continues in this vein. She’s getting looks from people around her with each “no”).

Asian couple behind me engaged in conversation using a dialect I have no hope in deciphering.

Couple of students too far away to actually hear what they’re saying but the explosion of laughter makes a couple people sitting near me turn their heads to look.

Visual:
Many people without iPods or CD players still block the doorway of the subway and even less move to allow people to get on or off.

More people reading papers than iPod/music players. Small percentage of that have both book/music player combo. Good for them for reading, I can hear Andrew say.

Opinion:
For the most part, not a lot of people were talking which has been pretty much the norm as long as I can remember and I’ve been taking transit in Toronto since the late 70s. As for the “serendipity of meeting someone”, there was not one single person who stuck out in my mind, not even a good looking bear I wanted to snog. I did notice that Newsweek put Martha’s head on a great body and slapped it up on their cover. But that came from sneaking a peek at a newspaper story. I guess I could have engaged the person beside me regarding this “technological wonder” but I would have been deemed a “streetcar freak” because you just don’t do that on public transit.

What do they serve at their get togethers?

Queer stuff, Toronto

From my inbox:

Toronto Small Penis Club

Hi Guys,

Looking for other small dicked guys in Toronto to join my club.
Possible get togethers etc adn who knows where it will lead. Please
ensure that your age, sex and location is in your profile when joining

Hope to see you all soon

J – (32years old, 6’2″ 175 Lbs, cute and only 4.5″ uncut in TO)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TorontoSmallPenisSupport/

Hope to see you all soon?! It will be a short meeting, I’m sure.