Category Archives: Toronto

This wacky city I live in.

To Zoo, If You Please

Personal Bits, Toronto

ZooboysJackael (Jack ‘n Michael), Sharkboy and I went to the zoo today! But before going there, we made our only “mad” pre-holiday purchase of a new Canon A640 camera. Going from a Sony 3.3MP to a Canon 10MP camera was like wiping mud from your eyes.

We read that the low-light wasn’t all that great and that with no image stablization a tripod was manditory for any digital zoom. But after downloading the images and flipping through all of them, it outshone our old camera like magnesium flares in the inkiest night.

Take a boo!

The Video mode is pretty awesome too (but of course, it’s been shunted through YouTube):

And keep your eye on the lower left hand Gorilla in this video. I’m starting my own viral video here, people:

Don’t Tell them About Their Name…

Celebs and Media, Toronto

let them guess for themselves when the marketing material arrives at their office

MuchMusic has a long history of covering issues that are important and relevant to youth. Now, we’re delivering arguably the most important message of our time. We’re eager to use our multiple platforms to inspire Canadians to FLICK OFF and get serious about curbing their energy and natural resource consumption.

Now THAT’S how you write a press release. That last bit made me laugh like a naughty school kid.

Originally those French Connection United Kingdom t-shirts offended me a bit, I thought they were juvenile, but this campaign just makes me laugh for some reason.

Today, I Saw an Angel

Toronto

dark angel

He was wearing a black hoodie that said “DO NOT BE AFRAID” across the front, “HATE” in black makeup across his face. He was reciting something from that sheet of paper in his hand.

I love this town.

Stay Away From Mimi

Toronto

For our Easter breakfast, we decided to go to Mimi’s Breakfast on Bathurst (under the Oak Leaf Spa) but we were turned away.

Rather rudely.

We found Mimi’s from 10best.com and thought it sounded nice. We were attracted to the “kitschy”.

When we got there, no times were posted on the door and yet I could see people inside past the dusty toys lining the window. I pushed open the door to be greeted by a thick dirty black curtain blocking off the alcove to the restaurant. Loud folk music and a strong waft of pot hit me like a hammer as I pulled back the drape. Standing in the front of the cramped “diner” was a short woman with shorter hair, in flannels, cutting potatoes. In her craggly mouth a cigarette hung precariously over the cutting board. Since she was in full view of the front window, I was a bit shocked that I had missed that obvious violation of health codes when we walked by.

“Mumumuuh!” she said past her cigarette, Bob Dylan singing over her.

“Huh?”

“WE’RE NOT OPEN!” she bellowed.

“Sorry, man!” I said and turned.

My last glimpse of the space was another woman coming from the back looking like I was there to rob the place: eyes wide in fear. I then realized the space was kitschy, but in a bad way: dirty; cramped; and judging by the kind, heartfelt response of us walking in on them because they left the door open an hour before they were open, absolutely no fun at all.

So regardless of how “trendy” you may hear or think Mimi’s is, remember my little tale of smoking over food, rude ejection and stoner culinary delights.

Just Resting, Thanks

Queer stuff, Toronto

I just saw an ad for Steamworks “Gym” on the subway. I airquote Gym because it’s main money draw is its gay sex bath house area (private rooms, steam room, showers etc), not it’s gym facilities. Maybe they’re trying to change their image? Maybe I’m getting old and conservative but I thought it weirdly inappropriate.
The ad boasted images of unobtainable male bodies and fancy schmancy plumbing fixtures (’cause that’s the number one thing I look for in a gym) and it gives the old sex club an aura of respectability, for a gym. But The Steamworks is as much a gym as Rick Mercer is a politician. The ad made me wonder if the guy in charge of marketing was on Tina and poppers when he came up with the idea to advertise on the subway.

I’m all for equal opportunity ads but I don’t see a lot of ads for straight sex clubs on the Teet.

Dr Hockey Scholarship

Toronto

My local video store, 6:30, Thursday night.  Enter a woman with a stern face.

“I had to come tell you this. I found out more about our Doctor,” she says, without greeting, to the clerk.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I am livid! I found out–” voice goes down, thankfully I can still hear, “–he went to the US to study medicine… on a hockey scholarship!

“No!”

“Yeah! I am going to a lawyer on Monday. I am in agony! I can’t keep anything in my mouth!”

“It doesn’t look too bad.”

“It’s inter-muscular. They say there’s nothing I can do except wait it out.”

Out of politeness, I’m not looking. I want to look. I must not look. She’s tempting me to look…

“It’s here, here… here…”

I’M NOT LOOKING.

“…And here.”

“Well it’s not that bad. It looks like mild Chicken Pox,” the clerk laughs.

“Thanks. Hey do you have that movie with Bill Murray as a soldier?”

Akismet Hits 10K

Tech, Toronto

Akismet (and Spam Karma) have collectively caught over 15,000 comment and trackback spams since I’ve installed it last year. I missed the exact milestone due to an attack from Abu Dhabi on Monday morning where someone from that part of the world thought it brilliant to announce to the world that his new blog about hacking was available. On a Google Blogger account, no less.

That’s pretty l33t, buddy!

Regardless, we here at Dead Robot dot Com would like to assure you that your reading of trivial fluff pieces will continue to be uninterrupted on this, the day that the city of York in Upper Canada was incorporated as Toronto.

The CN Tower Takes Toronto Hostage

Toronto

Icy TowerNext on Fox: When Buildings Bite Back!

I’m loving how CityTV is fearmongrelling this story. Yes, a sheet of 4ft x 4ft ice falling from the Skydeck would be dangerous but the way they’re reporting it, the Tower has become a knife weilding crazy person holding the city hostage. Best line from a reporter about falling ice in general: “If you’re downtown today, keep aware of tall buildings!” Thanks.

You know, if we had a Superman, they’d just fly up there and melt the ice with their eyes. Or a Spiderman would just “fzulpptptt!” the falling pieces with his web goo. Or if we had a Wonder Woman, she could deflect the falling bits with her wrists. Alas, this city is heroless.

And the Winner Is…

Personal Bits, Queer stuff, Toronto

Pride 2007’s Grand Marshal is Michele DuBarry!

Her numbers were just too great with the backing of two social groups. Had I more time and better organization, however, I think I could have chipped away at her backing and made her nomination a bit less solid. I believe that she deserves the honour (but not as much as Da, of course) and I wish her the best as Grand Marshal for Pride 2007. Keep that makeup away from the waterguns!

I did get some encouraging words from the board, post-vote and thank them for the opportunity to yammer about my Dad.

Sorry Da! Looks like I’m going to have to get you a real present anyway.

We now continue with our regularly scheduled brainless web fun!

My Speech to Nominate My Dad for Pride Grand Marshal

Personal Bits, Queer stuff, Toronto

At the Pride Grand Marshal vote tonight, the 519 was a cross section of our community. LGBTTIQ2S ($5 to anyone who names all the communities without Googling it) filled the auditorium. Much formailty ensued and motions were put forth.

I looked around the room to see my father’s sister with her boyfriend. My Dad’s good friend Yvan and friend had come. The “Edward Healey” camp was a bit thin.

We were informed that our time was cut short and we had 3 minutes to speak. I was called and approached the stage. I placed a photo of Dad up on the podium and let ‘er rip. Here is my speech, in it’s entirety, with the on-the-fly editing I had to do:

Honoured Pride Board, Nominees, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Ted Healey and I am here to nominate my father, Edward Healey, for Grand Marshal for Toronto Pride 2007.

My father can’t be here tonight because he is currently spending winter in Buenos Aries, and is draining my inheritance. I have an email from him confirming his acceptance to be nominated.

Who is Edward Healey and why vote for my father? First and foremost, it’s his 75th birthday this year and I have no idea what to get him. I figured a nice ride down Yonge street would be fun.

Seriously, Edward Healey is the perfect model towards which all gay persons should aspire and therefore the ideal person to be the Grand Marshal of this year’s Parade. He is a good parent, patient and understanding, and has proven through his volunteerism, leadership and availability to the community, that he does not suffer endless indecision and inaction. His commitment to honesty is a shining light for all who are hiding from themselves. To those who are living in fear, his life embodies the saying “The Truth shall set you free”

Edward was born in Lindsay, Ontario, 1932. Dad came of age in a conservative world that had assigned a very abject place to gay men, something he was aware of and fearful of, and that was one of the reasons that led him to get married. However, I believe that he and mother were genuinely happy together because all you have to do is look at the family photos, and there are five children to prove it.

I’d like to quickly mention my siblings because my father raised some great people:

My oldest brother, Dan, is a professor of Soviet Era Gay History at Swansea University, in the United Kingdom. In his youth, Dan’s activism paved the way for the privileges we take for granted today. He was ordained as a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence and was one of the many angry voices during protest of the Bathhouse raids while he studied at UofT. Dan is happily married to his husband, Mark, a year and a half now.

My oldest sister Michele is a Supervisor for the Anesthesiology department at the Calgary General Hospital. She tells me that in her life, she has learned from Dad never to be afraid of change.

My middle brother, John has taken up sales like my father did at his age and is regional sales manager for a high end line of electronics.

The brother just older than me, Michael, is the recipient of the Governor General Literary Award in 1999 for his play, The Drawer Boy. He is currently writer in residence at the Tarragon Theatre.

And me? I’m here, with my husband, to nominate my dad. I owe him so much and it’s the least I can do for him. He’s my best friend, my confidant, and role model.

At this point I was told I had 30 seconds to finish up. I skipped this paragraph, noting that Dad’s accomplishments were listed in the flyer handed out to the group within his bio blurb.

In the early 80s when my father came out, he entered into the Toronto Area Gays Coming Out Support Group, utilizing the first of many community services that were open to him at the time. From there, he flourished to an active member within the LGBT community. He has volunteered for ACT, stood by me in the rain as we hauled hors d’oeuvres into Moss Park for Fashion Cares and is currently an active volunteer and parishioner for MCCT. Edward has actively volunteered his time to the over-40s social group, Prime Timers Toronto for some time now. In fact, he has been president of Prime Timers “two and a half time”? (he tells me) and I am told that his peers have nominated him this year, to sit on the World Board of Prime Timers.

This is where I jumped to:

The beauty of dad’s ‘gay values’ lies in the fact that he never forgot to be a father first. In fact, perhaps discovering he had two gay sons helped him to be a better father. Dad’s commitment to his family and to our community has been strong and effective. He has been Unstoppable! Dad upholds the tenets of Pride and without a doubt should be recognized for his accomplishments.

In conclusion I ask that you consider whom, you should put at the front of the Pride Parade. Whether you choose “Person” or “Persona”, I ask that you choose honestly and with pride. Please vote for my father, Edward Healey.

We find out in a weeks time by press release on Pride Toronto’s site.

I would like to thank Yvan C for helping me slap this together with a week and a half  notice. And special thanks to Sharkboy for his support. He’s been great.

Good Luck Da!