Category Archives: Toronto

This wacky city I live in.

Outside My Windows

Toronto

(A post in conjunction with SharkBoy)

She’s been outside our window for over two years now. Originally two years ago she use to do a sing song “Cha cha chaaange please!” in a weird high pitched screech. These days she’s move on to wordless rants. I think she’s unable to control herself and because of the attention she gets from the yelling, she gets more money/food. Which just makes her stick around.

In the winter and cooler days we don’t hear her with our shut windows. Our apartment doesn’t have AC so we’re forced to keep them open and we can hear her as if she was in our living room, waking up the dead. You can see that in the video she gets pretty loud. That’s tame compared to some nights.

One night in May she started at 5pm and didn’t finish until I went out onto the street to tell her to move on at 3am. She was horse and could barely say “Ok. Sorry.”

We’ve asked her to be quiet. We’ve asked her to move on, even just down the street. We’ve lied to her and asked her to stay quiet because she wakes up “the baby”. Every time, she’s good for about 15 minutes and then she starts up again. Recently I’ve emailed Pam McConnell, counselor for Cabbagetown with regards to helping us deal with her. No response.

Lately we’ve started to call the police. One night we discovered through Toronto Police Dispatch that our neighbors have been calling police for some time about her too. The police for the most part didn’t come or missed her completely because she moves up and down the street a lot. However, she was taken away one night last week and then back again 2 days later.

Once, she told SharkBoy that she lives in Parkdale but likes Cabbagetown because the begging money is better. She has had on a different outfit every day this week, so I hardly think she’s homeless.

I feel bad for calling the police but after more than two years we’re at the end of our rope.

Ping Pong Head Stewardesses

Distractions, Hobbies, Toronto

BoingBoing links to someone who’s selling his Pan Am Clipper model from the movie 2001. I still have this model, but without the viewable engine room part.

If you’re here in Toronto, I know of a small hole-in-the-wall shop over in Chinatown 2 (Gerrard and Broadview, north side of Gerrard, east of Broadview – sorry I don’t know the name) that is selling this model and a thwack of other great nostalgic sets, like the Space 1999 Moonbase model kit and a couple Big Daddy Roth’s Hotrod models. Save yourself the duty/shipping!

Monkey’s Last Summer Show

Distractions, Hobbies, Improv/Comedy, Toronto

Happy Monkeys June 07

This Sunday, the Happy Monkeys will be performing their last show before summer break (back by September).

The first half of the show will be short mayhem with games (Party Quirks, Scene Three Ways, etc) and something new for the last half called Montage: a collection of small scenes all based on 2 suggestions from the audience. At rehearsal we had “time” and “shoes” which resulted in Valley Girls attacked by pulp fiction time travellers as well as various other rifts on that concept!

So take your Dad to our show! It will be showalicious and dad will be appreciativalicious.

Victory Cafe, Sunday June 17th, 8pm PWYC

Distancing Myself

Queer stuff, Toronto

Oh lord. My old Black Eagle website is long gone (somewhat unsafe for work… guys in jocks, leather imagery, no nudity), replaced by a site I am sure was made in Frontpage. No, a pirated copy of Frontpage and MS Paint.

I don’t even know where to begin to be cynical. The riot of colour? The beveled or incredibly pixelated fonts? The broken image on the staff page? The horrid resizing of web images to hundreds of times their original size without apology? Or resizing by HTML? My original artwork heavy handedly ripped apart and overdrawn to shit? Typos galore?

Wood grain?

Did the designer make the site with boxing gloves on?

Sigh. I knew this day would come. If the site were better than my original design (since it was 3 years old, that would not have been hard to do), I would honestly be congratulatory.

I know I sound bitter.

But it’s like seeing a boyfriend who you liked a lot, who dumped you, and is now hanging around crack heads and accountants.

Before you comment, go look at NYC Eagle and compare it to BET. Arresting opening page. Tight layout and easy navigation. One style throughout. My only complaint is that it’s Flash.

Why I Love Toronto

Personal Bits, Toronto

Toronto Sky Line

Penis Tour

If ever Toronto is hit by a virus that wipes out 99% of the population (me excluded) I want to live at the top of the MaRS building on College:
Top of Mars

…or this church which looks like the set designers from Planet of the Apes made (Broadview)
Planet of the Apes Church

Typical Queen Street Graphitti

Prom Runners

Felix

Mixing Business With Pleasure

Celebs and Media, Queer stuff, Toronto

Saturday is your last chance to go see Kids On TV at Buddies at Bad Times Theatre.

What are they like? Imagine if Nina Hagen had been a hot muscular male lead singer who could sing and break dance. Or if Hedwig and the Angry Inch did punk/new wave fusion, instead of glam rock. Or if Devo were cross dressers. Or …well you get the gist. They captured the 80s in their dayglo cobra outfits, wolf heads and writhing break dance break downs. I’m loving their rift of Keith Cole and his pee faux pas.

Go see them. Buy their CD ($10 cheap! But not cheap in production values!) too. Here’s a YouTube of one of their fun songs that get SharkBoy and I cheering along. I KNOW SO!!

Bowl-ing for Dollars

Distractions, Toronto

the BowlsTonight, Da got SharkBoy and I a pair of tickets to Empty Bowls, at the Gardiner Museum. A yearly fundraiser put on by local artists (who make the bowls) and chefs (who fill the bowls). Purchasing a ticket gets you an original bowl and access to 20 chef stations serving up the most exotic soups I have ever seen. Money goes to Anishnawbe Health Toronto, a centre for the well being of Aboriginal peoples. The doors opened at 5 and Da tells me there was a line up started around 1pm. When we got there, there was a mini crush to get inside to the last remaining 60 or so bowls.

Here’s mine (click all pics to embiggen)
Clever bowl Note the bright orange and two chambered chip dip style. Bless SharkBoy for elbowing his way past an old lady to get it before it flew off the table! Yes, I know it’s rather greedy of me to choose a two chamber bowl, and I was hounded at all the stations if I wanted a “Number one or Number two?” I refrained from any poo jokes. One curious characteristic of the bowl was it’s lack of footing, making it impossible to put down. See the video of my spinny bowl:

The crowd was shovey and excited. Always are when you mention free food!
Crowd

Feeding FrenzyIt was a feeding frenzy. At one point I was shoved in and out of a line for the mystery soup that tasted so good I nearly wept! And people were not kind about my large frame and my greedy bowl. Many comments on “You’re eating right, my friend,” with regards to my ability to fill up two soups at a time. Which I never did! Fuck ’em. I was in food heaven. There was thick fishy miso soups, brisk bisques, fruity dessert broths, pea soups, oyster drops, antique pork chunk soups and my favorite, a rhubarb and sour cream …thing, from Jamie Kennedy’s restaurant. YUM!

peas!I did find it a bit ironic that this whole event was an excess of food gluttony inside one of Toronto’s most beautiful new museums when the Anishnawbe house helps people break the cycle of street living and homelessness. Maybe not ironic so much as guiltily feeling making. Thank god for the walk home.