Down in old Cowtown (near St Lawrence Market – or is that Hogtown? Can I say Hogtown in this time of H1N1?), spread out over several blocks is (most likely) a George Brown student’s street art project of somewhat portly people waving empty protest signs. Ripe for ridicule!
Click to enbiggen:
OMG!
Hamasexual
ASL?
Double Post Noob
Why Do You Poke Me
They’ll NEVER personalize your bagel. I’m a star!!
Never, EVER rent from the Thriftys/Dollar outlet on Parliament and Queen. Our near-flawless trip to Montreal/Vermont was marred by the inept staff at this outlet. Hear our tale of woe:
SharkBoy went online a few weeks before Easter weekend and reserved a “Full Sized” car and was told it would be ready by 5pm. Of course these chuckleheads think those simple reservation facts actually mean “the less-than-full size Camry will be pushed upon you (“This is all we have sir!”) somewhere around 5:30pm, dirty and without keys”.
We’re always renting a larger car for the transporting of in-laws and their luggage across Quebec into Vermont and have as of yet, never gotten exactly what we asked for when reserving online, at any outlet or rental company. So the swapped out car really was no surprise. The late arrival of this car, coupled with the conditions it came in was unacceptable, though.
To start, the new car had a new keyless ignition and the staff gave no instruction as to how to start the car. In fact, the dickfuckwad attendant took the key with him after he hastily “cleaned” the outside of the car. SharkBoy was shown the car and he had a brief conversation with the assmunch attendant about how the license plate of the rental car (from Nova Scotia) may get the border crossing guards in a snit when we tried to enter Vermont (it did, but thankfully not to the point of having to stop and get out). SharkBoy was assured it would be alright and was ok’d to leave. When he turned off the car at home, he couldn’t restart it or close the windows. No “key”! An angry phone call to Thrifty/Dollar was made and SharkBoy was told to come back to the office to get the key. Huh? After some REAL SLOW TALKING he was able to get them to realize they still had the key and he could not start the car again. Well that was his fault, according to them – he didn’t take it! So some poor car jockey had to come to our house and take the brunt of SharkBoy’s anger: This car is dirty. You forgot to give me the key. I have no clue how to start this car. You better tell your manager I’m really pissed. Etc.
The poor kid’s response? “Could you go easy? It’s after 6pm and I have to go home!”
Yeah. Kids today.
Further investigation of the car found that the previous renters left garbage in the trunk and used the cup holders in the back seat as an ashtray (yes the car smelled like a seedy dockside bar from the 70s). There’s more to this tale of incompetent woe, but just know that no one in that office would take responsibility for the conditions of the car, or their actions. When we returned it, the outlet manager gave us one day off the price (wooopie.) and hoped that we would rent from them again.
We said no. Never. You should too until someone teaches those tacofucks some customer service theory.
Toronto Beaches, June 1981
My sister is showing me the boardwalk for the first time. Over on the wall of a concession stand someone has spray painted the word “DEVO” in 3 ft high letters.
Me: What does ‘deevo’ mean?
My Sister: I think it means to de-evolve.
Me: What does that mean? Why would anyone want to write that?
My Sister: I guess someone wants us to “grow backwards”. Like the guy turning into an ape in Altered States
Pause
My Sister: …Or it’s a rock band.
Did you know that they use to guestimate where busses were located on their routes by the number of wheel turns they executed? Neanderthal!
Now, with the installation of GPS into most TTC vehicles, you can now accurately know when the next bus hits your stop!
BlogTO popped this little gem of an “app” (and by App, I mean iPhone homescreen web link) called NextBus (beta). Choose your route, choose your bus stop and then marvel at the amount of time you have available to waste before the next bus. I’ve been trying it on my home stop this morning and have noticed that the three estimated times for arrival refreshes independently from each other – you can actually see streetcars bunch up like a $2 whore’s panties!
Where was this when I was waiting in the frigging cold last winter?!
Update: From Torontoist, always digging deeper, is a live map! Marvel in the short turns!
Update #2: Site has taken off 99% of all the Toronto Routes. Will they bring them back? I hope so!
First, let me preface this post by apologizing to all my non-Toronto readers. Go look at my Flickr account, this post will not interest you.
I’ve steadily been having a big hate-on for Breakfast Television since it’s sale to Rogers and its long, slow departure from CityTV/CTV while remaining on CTV’s news channel. The choppy and awkward station ID/commercial flips between the two has been like trying to track a schizophrenic family member’s conversation who hasn’t taken their meds in months. For the last month or so, any fan of Breakfast Television who watches on the CP24 channel will have noticed that when BT goes to commercial, CP24 kicks in with “More On CP24!” teasers of weather and traffic.
Let’s just get past the fact that the bumper title is dangerously close to “MORON CP24!” if you’re not watching the screen closely…
Besides being utterly maladroit (like that? I have Thesuarus.com open), these extra reports of traffic and weather are an additional assault of already mentioned information (it’s fucking scrolling across the bottom already!!), jazzed up with an odd segment of Cam Woolley driving around town and talking about traffic (different idea but utterly useless: “Here’s a live feed of us stuck in traffic on the DVP!”).
I’ve posted before about how BT gets my ire: particularly Kevin “I Don’t Live In Toronto” Frankish and his need to revolve the show around himself. Even his post-show blog (full of terminology errors – he calls his video posts “blogs”), gets my blood boiling. I’m really glad he’s trying to get on board with the whole Web 2.0, new technology thing but it’s becoming unwatchable, like your parent trying to email a photo off their hard drive (no offense dad!!). I have to admit in the last while, I’ve hopped over to Canada AM and have become dangerously close to accepting their dry, conservative pap as my morning ritual.
Until this morning there was a ray of hope…
This morning during a CP24 bumper, in between the weather and traffic, there were two young somethings chatting amicably about their fantastic weekend and how great the weather was. I missed their names and the segment lasted only a minute, but they got my attention… They were young, well dressed, good looking, bright, smiling, energetic and so NOT like the current Breakfast Television crew, that my heart beat faster.
Is CP24 going to cut loose BT and have their own breakfast show of goodlookings 20-30somethings? I’m hoping that CP24 is grooming young bucks to offer a breath of fresh air from curmudgeonly Kevin “I’m Old and at no way at all a Metrosexual” Frankish? Can Dina transfer over to that show if they do? She’s the only reason I’ve hung on so long.
We took one of our many robots out into the world today, into the bright sunshine and lovely weather. Enjoy!
Remember how Torontoist hates Restaurant Makeover? Last night they aired the Church Street Diner episode, shot sometime last summer/fall and like some of the post-RM shows, Church Street Diner is closed to this day. Churchies who are in the know, know that CSD was opened and then closed sometime soon after the Restaurant Makeover crew left their special brand of reality tv drama all over the scrapped bunkheads. The title card at the end of the show mentioned that Alfredo and Richard “continue to have hope for the business”, or some such fluff. Well they’re off the radar, apparently, with the diner surreptitiously having an “opening soon” sign on their door through the winter.
This show is approximately 22 min long (with commercials) and contains 20 minutes of fake drama built up between the designer and the contractor. With clever editing and lots of recycling shots of people dancing while they work, they’re able to pad out the show to the hour (with commercials). In last night’s episode, Richard and Alfredo were treated nicely, compared to some snide comments the show hosts would utter on camera regarding the restaurant, the owners, the working conditions. As I suspected, the menu was perfect, with only a few edits and no real complaints to speak of by the hosting chef (she actually complimented them on their use of home made sauces), but the reason the diner was doing poorly was the cramped room it occupies, which (in my opinion) killed the previous restaurant in that space, The Five Alarm Diner. Backing up that theory is the surprise reveal of the owners acquiring of the second floor, sprung on the designer to jazz up just before the makeover started. Act surprised, everyone! Now act worried about time. Now act worried about money.
All my Googling and gossip searching came up with no leads as to why the diner is still closed. I suspect they might have had some issue with licensing the upstairs part of the diner because at one point the designer mentions having problems with “red tape” and mysteriously it’s never mentioned again. The upstairs was a clothing store prior to the makeover and I suspect they couldn’t get a food service license within the 5 days allotted for the show and they went ahead and reno-ed the upstairs anyway. There was a curious lack of discussion regarding the upstairs space, other than the old Restaurant Makeover standard drama of a “load bearing wall” that befuddles the designer (shock!).
I’m saddened by Alfredo and Richard’s struggles since I knew Richard when he was the manager of my local Starbucks (and did a pretty damn good job making the place a fun cafe!). I’d go back to the Cafe if it opened, but it doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon.
One more for the Restaurant Makeover deathwatch!
Corner of Carlton and Jarvis, 6:34pm, waiting for the light.
Me: In Fallout 3, I’ve chosen an option called Bloody Mess that does 5% more damage to zombies and, as an added bonus, makes them explode… in a bloody mess!
SharkBoy: Cooo oo ool! I love exploding zombies!
Ramdom Eavesdropping Homo: Who doesn’t?
Having a network of blog friends gets you some pretty sweet perks sometimes. Like RobC getting me tickets to preview a show from the best Toronto comedy club there is: Second City’s 63rd review 0% Down, 100% Screwed.
Man I love Second City show titles. So topical.
I’ve been to SC shows before and I had found that individuals within the cast were always out to put themselves above the troupe by going a bit too heavy on the need-for-attention factor. This time around, the cast of 0% Down felt like a cohesive, funny, and sharing group. Having done improv before I know that getting a team together and having them click without egos or advancement of personal agendas, is nothing short of a miracle. This particular show felt like they not only had created harmony on stage that screamed professional comedy troupe, they would have jumped in front of a comedy bullet for each other if they had to.
The show’s content was your typical sketch/improv comedy content that went from political (Steven Harper entertaining an agreeable Hillary Clinton while Laureen Harper ruins upholstery as Obama orated hypnotically), to topical (a Guantanamo Bay prisoner and a 70s sitcom have so much in common), to downright odd (Fox News attempting to bring their shining example of news journalism to Canada). But here I am 3 days later and I’m recalling the good moments with clarity. Cheap comedy washes off, this show doesn’t, purely because the cast worked so well together. Don’t get me wrong, there were a few lagging moments that can happen in free-forming improv, but I would say the show is 99% polished and well advanced for their March 11 release.
All members of the cast were funny, all had their shining moments, but I want to single out three people from the cast:
Marty Adams: You may know him as the guy who tattooed his chest for Fallsview Casino commercial – backward, in the mirror. His initial scene of playing an 18 inch dwarf was transforming (he’s actually 6ft plus and over 250lbs) had me believing he was gnome-ish. like many larger, physical comedians before him (Candy, Belushi, Farley), you get a sense that Marty stands to create a name for himself purely because of the kinetic, yet honed energy he brings to a scene.
Kerry Griffin: I took a class taught by Kerry at the Bad Dog Theatre and he was bright, attentive and very supportive. I get that feeling that he’s a king pin in this group. He brings a maturity to the show yet drops the odd F-Bomb with the best of them, to keep you off kilter. He’s the king of scene manipulation and while all around him on stage may be drying up, you can tell that he’s brewing something in his sharp mind, 4 steps of everyone.
Finally, Leslie Seiler: Leslie was tasked with two scenes where she had to engage the audience and create scenarios from their suggestions – not for the feint of heart improvisational artist. Yet she showed great control while pulling ideas from shy people. In one particular scene she actually fell off the stage during an overzealous moment of triumph. With stunned silence (do we laugh??!?) the audience waited with bated breath as to her condition. Without comment, she rose from the front row and still in character, used her accident to move the scene on while smiling wildly letting us in on her goof up. Leslie’s most notable when she blithely hauls out one of her fully realized characters, like the way-past retirement, bitter, WalMart greeter begging for shoppers to kill her. Or the psychic charlatan, suspiciously trying to pick up men in her audience. She reminded me of a youthful, updated Andrea Martin and I will be looking out for her in the future.
So, in a word: go. This show is not your typical SC show. It’s got more personality than politics, more clever than cleaving.
Updated 020909 for some wicked grammatical errors. I apologize.