Category Archives: Toronto

This wacky city I live in.

Lonely Friday Night

Toronto Leave a reply

Scanning Facebook yesterday at work (um… Hi boss! it was research!) I came across a post from a local restaurant showing a picture of a bunch of firetrucks …on my street??

“Lots of excitement today! Street closed and 5 trucks!” The caption read.

Oh. God. My first thought is that my 8 year old computer finally decided to give up in a spectacular explosion of ripped DVDs and thousands of GoPro files. Phweee!! Second was a Deadpool-esque moment where time slowed down and I though “Did I leave the stove on?” Then I thought “oh my god the cats…”

I frantically banged on Twitter looking for news. You really notice how small buttons are on your phone when you’re freaking out and tapping anything that may look like a possible link. And might I add that the mobile version of Twitter is like trying to dress angry snakes in traditional Ukrainian wedding garb. I found a emergency services scanning account that said the fire was a few stores south from my home. I breathed a sigh of relief.

When I got home after work I found the source of the fire was our Friday Night tradition – a super friendly pizza shop we go… er… went to: 2 for 1 Pizza burned down. SharkBoy and I have …er… had been going to it for years, spitting in the eye of our gym goals and getting a pie for our traditional “wind down after the week-cocoon in front of the big screen fatty fat fatsters” movie night.

No more, it seems. I can hear my post-cruise weight starting to fall already.

The owner knew us so well he would toss in free dipping sauces every so often. His daughter worked behind the counter while she was going through university and we would tip her a few bucks. He was one of those people who was never stressed or angry and always smiled when he saw you – sickening.

I’m kidding. I really do feel bad for him and I hope the owner and his daughter are ok. I’m glad no one was hurt.

 

Walking in rhythm

Distractions, Toronto, You Stupid Dick Leave a reply

I hit the streets some mornings at 5:30am to get to the gym at a decent, non-busy hour.

This morning, I’m approaching the streetcar stop at Sherbourne and Carlton when I spy a young couple kissing in a doorway.

Only, they’re not just kissing.

He’s in a tailored suit. It looks good on him. He’s young and very… energetic. He’s all over her face like he’s just run out of Bath Salts. It’s like her face was a pumpkin pie and he had attended his first vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner. It was like he was a clean kitty and she was a dirty kitty…. you get it.

She… wasn’t pretty. I’m being kind. If you think I’m cruel, then I have no other way to say, politely, that she wasn’t attractive.

They were going at it like Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks but without the blinds.

At first glance I noticed all this, then my ex-catholic side kicked in and I averted my eyes. Then I looked back because… there it was in front of me anyway.

Her face was dirty. Like – coal miner dirty.

Now, it’s dark at 5:30am. She may have just been concealed in shadow, or she had actually come off a mining shift somewhere in Downtown Toronto. But she looked dirty.

I averted my eyes again.

In my head I imagined this is what the final scene in Casablanca would look like if filmed today.

Garage Sale Update

Distractions, I'm going to tell you what to do, political, Queer stuff, Toronto, You Magnificent Bastard Leave a reply

Last weekend was our (I guess now) annual PWA yard sale fundraiser held during the massive Cabbagetown Festival.

Saturday was a washout with all the rain. I’d like to officially apologize to TJ, Jordan and Doug for cancelling their costumed appearance but I think I saved you guys a good soaking. It was a good thing I didn’t reschedule for Sunday because it was “neuken mentale” as the Dutch say.

Loosely Translated: fucking mental. Seriously.

The crowds were out at 8.30am when we walked over to Postbear’s house to start setting up. As we started to pull things out of his basement, there was a line up forming. We opened at 10am, sharp and literally the three of us, postbear, SharkBoy and I, were swarmed with all manner of shoppers. And it didn’t let up at all.

Needless to say I could not have put on my TD armour at all. Though I did get a couple people asking me where the Stormtrooper was this year! So definitely next year!

The Bad: The guy who stiffed me $0.40 on a $3 glassware purchase AFTER we haggled for 10 min about the price. Yes, I punctuated my argument with “IT’S GOING TO CHARITY!” A

The Really Bad: We had quite a few things stolen right from under our noses. The yard is big, there was a super amount of stuff from one end to the other and maybe some of the “missing” stuff might have been legitimately bought and we forgot about the purchase but all three of us conferred at the end of the day on certain transactions and discovered that some things walked away without being paid for. I don’t know why people think it’s cool to steal, but apparently there are horrid people in the world. I hope they enjoy stealing from a registered charity.

The Good: We must have had 40-50 boxes of stuff. At the end of the day (it was getting onto dusk when we finally packed up the remnants), I would say there were 10 good sized boxes left – we’re talking those 16 gallon Rubbermaid thingers. So nearly all sold!

The Gooder: All three of us, during the madness of sales, had at least one person come up to us and stuff money into our hands for NO REASON AT ALL. Remember when I said I was bitter? This kind of kills that vibe. We were so busy we couldn’t set up a donation tub, and we probably couldn’t have kept our eye on it anyway. So it was great to see people organically giving money. Thank you random strangers!

The Goodest: We raised over $1400. There is still a couple outstanding sales, post-sales, that might push us over the $1500 limit but there we are. Think about that for a moment. Imagine moving/selling that much stuff through an afternoon of crazy.

Postbear has given the money to PWA to be distributed to a few needy channels within the foundation, like their foodbank.

Already postbear is talking up next year. Ideas are churning. Volunteers are being organized. Things are happening…

I have to single out Andrew (postbear) for all his hard work in organizing this amazing day. He worked really hard and long on making sure the yard was level, the stuff was donated and delivered on time and hauled his “never out of bed before 2pm” ass up and moving at 8am. Thanks for a great day!