Category Archives: Distractions

Spore: Origins

Distractions, Hobbies, iPhone

The problem with believing hype is that you’ll fall hard if the hype doesn’t live up to itself. I think that’s what I did when I heard that Spore was coming to the iPhone. Back when Spore was originally shown off at some distant, forgotten tech convention (voiced over by Robin Williams) I was enamored. Play god from the Primordial ooze to spacefaring creature? Oh hells yes! To have it on my phone (albeit a truncated version) was going to be the extra fluff added to the already fluffly clouds in heaven.


Hello little guy! Hey wait… are you baked?

Don’t get me wrong, I really like Spore: Origins. The graphics are more than I expected for a phone game, and with the accelometer, it’s a lot different phone gaming experience than say, Tetris or Bejewelled. But with that in mind, I still feel a little dissapointed that all you do in this game other than evolve your little dude, is eat other little dudes (which consists of just “running over” other organisms). There are the “bigger fish” that will eat, bite, chase you (“There’s always a bigger fish…”) and generally get in the way but with accelometer controls, it’s a bit difficult to get the hang of. Thankfully the screen is calibrated to a slight angle, not dead flat, to make your dude stop dead. The cost of the game is a bit dear for this mini-version of Spore. The price could have been reduced and the evolving of your character could have been made easier so that you get hooked enough to send your character into the desktop version, thus buying into the costlier game. But that’s just my evil marketing side talking. It is a fun timewaster.


Dude! Run! Pointy Thing!

As you play along, you are unable to re-play any levels. That’s evolution, I guess. But you are able to re-evolve elements on or off your little dude. As you can see from my pictures, I added a ton of eyes that seems to give him a little more agility in avoiding enemies. Later, I added spikes and he can “defend” himself a little from the bigger guys.


Eat me! No don’t!

Get big enough and the big dudes that bit into you become your dinner. There’s a metaphor here too. The more you play, the less your battery stays alive. It’s a bit of a resource hog, more so than video. Be warned.


Screw this, I’m going to eat Ariel’s Grotto

I give Spore: Origins a 8 out of 10. Slightly worth the $10 from the Apps Store, only if 1) It’s game play is longer than a couple hours total – I’ve only played to level 7 so far; and 2) I get to export my guy into the PC game (which I’m sure it does, but I won’t be able to because my desktop is so frigging old – it can’t run Spore Creator).

Not Laughing At You. Oh Wait. Yes I Am.

Distractions

“Ma’am? Miss? Excuse me?”

The barista is hanging over the counter trying to get the attention of the woman at the creamer counter. Someone in the fairly longish line steps out and taps her on the shoulder.

“What?” she snaps.

“Your card is short by $2,” the barista says somewhat quietly over the crowd.

“You rang it through twice. I know there’s at least $5 on it left.”

“I can give you a print out of your purchase…”

With a huff she turns back to the front of the line and with weighted flourish, dumps her purse on the counter. She gets the bill and in hushed tones, tries to reason with the barista why she thought there was more money on the card. Finally, angrily, she hands over the remaining cash.

“This is the longest I have ever had to wait for service,” she offers as punctuation to her $4 coffee purchase, and storms off.

I’ve known the barista for some time. Not much fazes her, but you can tell that cow got to her somehow. At my turn at the counter, she takes my order and I stand slightly to the left to wait for my tea. I’m going to tell her that she’s doing a great job… that it’s a great day… something positive. Suddenly a soccer mom with daughter in tow stands directly in front of me and orders. And orders something else. And complicates something (I wasn’t paying that much attention). The barista places my tea on the counter and while I wait for her to take my money, tries to smooth out the soccer mom’s order, which she does, except for…

“Can you give me my coffee now?” the snotty soccer mom asks.

I make eye contact with the barista. I roll my eyes and make a “mah moo mive me my moffee mow?” face behind the soccer mom’s back.

Both of us laugh. Try not to. Then snort hard. Try not to. I give up and laugh and look at the stunned soccer mom. I drop a $1 tip into the box.

It’s just coffee, people!

World of Warcraft, Made Simple

Distractions, Hobbies

I know I’m years behind on this, but I’ve had Evil Panda breathing down my panties to sign up for this game. Last night I downloaded the demo and started to wander about. And then realized I have no clue where he would be, let alone what race he is.

Cue terse email to EP, asking to be brief about what to do next.

What follows is his hilarious response about races in WoW (edited for content):

Tauren: Big minotaur-looking guys, based loosely on Native Americans as far as culture goes. They can be Hunters, Druids, Shaman, or Warriors. They’re probably the most noble of the Horde races.

Orcs: Not like the Lord of the Rings orcs, they’re more like Star Trek Klingons…warrior culture highly based on clans and honor. They were enslaved by demons and brought through a portal from Draenor to conquor Azeroth.

Trolls: Jamaican accents. Think of every bad depiction of a headhunting tribe in Africa, and you basically have the basis for the Trolls. Dancing around a stewpot filled with white explorers, etc. There are many troll tribes, but all players are part of the Darkspear tribe, which is a little more civilized than their cousins. Trolls can be Hunters, mages, priests, shamans, warriors or rogues.

Forsaken (Undead): One of my favorite races, because they’re so tragic. They were basically humans and elves infected with a demon-created plague that has turned them into the living dead (HIV-victims). They’re bitter and pissed about it, some are trying to take revenge against the undead who are still fighting for the Lich King, others are trying to create a new plague that will kill the rest of the living on the planet (granted, the living are trying to kill them right back, and kind of started it to begin with). Undead can be Mages, Priests, Rogues, Warriors and Warlocks. They also get some pretty neat racial bonuses, including the ability to cannibalize the corpses of enemies to regain health. They also have the best racial mount (Skeletal Horse).

Blood Elves: The prettiest race on the planet. Imagine a city filled with lovely blond raver children, and you kinda get it. They’re also magic crack-addicts, as their source of magic was destroyed and they’re desparately trying to build a new one. Can be a hunter, mage, warlock, rogue, priest or paladin.

I made a Tauren character and went off and killed some birds to start. But now I want to be pwned!

Scattered Stuff

Distractions

Too small to post on it’s own, too big to be ignored:

My niece, Emma Flannery Lawrence Healey and Richard Rosenbaum get a nod for their creativity and fun from Torontoist. Something so simple creates something so fun.

Gizmodo posts a video of a man getting the poop knocked out of him by a robot. Yay! Actually it’s a video from a new BBC show called The Wrong Door. You need to check out their website. Couldn’t get the videos working (Youtube) but the gist of it is that it’s a wired version of Monty Python.

Speaking of British Comedy, does anyone remember “The Goodies”? Romach might… Like The Wrong Door, it was comedy created back in the new video heyday:

And with more video, I was reminded of this toy I coveted from my next door neighbour for years. Pay particular attention to the grooviest back yard ever:

And completely out of context, my favorite quote from Mad Men to date:

You are the product. You feeling something. That’s what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can’t do what we do and they hate us for it.

And finally, a picture of me yelling like a cartoon:
Aaasgh!

Flub

Distractions

Co-Worker1: (to the whole cube, discussing lunch) You like wasabi?
Co-Worker2: Yes I do! Love it!
Co-Worker1: Wow! I didn’t know that. You gobble that stuff down?
Me: Or snort it?
Co-Worker1: …what movie was that from…?
Me: Jockstrap 1
(silence)
Me: Jackass. One. The first one. Movie. Jackass. Not… (mumble…)
Co-Worker2: What movie are you really thinking of?