Movie Reviewer, Shelly McShellster

Hey Kids, Shelly here!

I heard that Drive was Manhunter but with a better soundtrack and less Venetian blind shutter shadows. Which is pretty fair.

I hated the first 20 minutes of this movie. That’s harsh. Let me rephrase that… I had a growing dislike as the movie progressed that lasted about 20 minutes and then boom! Fun! That’s more like it. After that, loved the fuck out of it. Why? The stylish lack of dialogue got a bit repetitive. Mopey blank facials from Ryan Gosling were a bit much after a while – we get it! He’s TAXI DRIVER but sexy! The redeeming qualities of this movie saved me from getting bored though: The soundtrack is “good” hipster recycled 80s homage and the tight editing during the establishing chase scene was amazing.

But the long moody shots of Gosling looking at LA traffic through various people’s windows was a bit much.

After that, SharkBoy had to tell me to stop yelling “Jesus Christ!” every time a bit of ultraviolience sprayed across the screen. Nice cameos and parts played by all. Albert Brooks finally played a part I could watch without whining and getting the cats in the neighbourhood all horny. I even liked Big Faced Ron Pearlman!

I give Drive four shells out of 6. Just to be different.

Appearing briefly across the internet is (was) an outtake from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom where Harrison Ford is whipped by Barbra Streisand and Carrie Fischer, while Irvin Kershner offers scene notes. Ha!

All is funny except for the last line where Babs drops the gay f-bomb.

Harrison Ford: “Really hit me! Really hit me this time!”
Barbra Streisand: “O.K.”
Harrison Ford: “Don’t do it with such… really hit me!”
Barbra Streisand: “Y’know, I feel like a faggot!”

Elohim knows straight people don’t whip each other. I think this would have been funnier on the set of Amistad

Full Transcript here via CHUD

When we saw the US “Dragon” trailer for the first time, SharkBoy and I looked at each other and confessed that we needed a bath. Watching it in the booming soundsystem of the theatre was like being assaulted physically and mentally while being forced to eat a can of cat food at gunpoint. And not the chunky gravy style kind, either.

Along come The Muppets and parody said trailer with clarity and perfection (in all honesty, I can’t wait for this movie).

Via Topless Robot.

I think creative writing is dead.

A broad generalized thought, but in the last couple days, I’ve noticed that people aren’t trying as hard anymore to be thoughtful in putting names to things.

Case in point:

A dance studio opened up a few doors from where I work and masterfully named itself Dance Studio for Children. Come on! Call it Baby Crunks or Tutus for Two Twos or even Do the Robot Child! Something! You’d think a place that is all about creativity would take a moment and think about that.

New show called Combat Hospital which weirdly enough is all about driving around the country in a trailer that is shaped like a toaster and the eclectic looking host cooks weird things. NO! It’s a fucking drama about a combat hospital. ZZZ. Does anyone remember the first time you heard the name M*A*S*H*?

When I see this kind of thing I go a little loopy. It’s as if the person who is pitching their idea to the venture capitalist had a super idea, booked the meeting with the VC but put off actually finishing the pitch – right down to naming their “thing” and thought Hell I’ll just improvise on the day of the meeting!

It’s a tv show set in space. An extremely diverse crew made up of conflicting alien cultures and sexes all come together as a team to explore and discover brave new worlds for the good of humanity. I call it Pee Pee Time Hole Face.

BobaDoug and Mr Spurlock

Looky who BobaDoug was hobknobbing with this weekend! Morgan Spurlock! He also got to hang around with various other 501st for the TIFF premier of Spurlock’s newest docco: ComicCon: Episode IV, A Fan’s Hope.

Despite my husband’s dislike of TIFF (a feeling I have too since it’s become utterly Hollywood’s bitch), I can’t help seethe with a bit of jealousy. But it’s probably a good thing I didn’t go. I mean, imagine my embarrassment if I went to the premier in full Sandtrooper drag and saw this guy there. I bet Joan River’s Fashion Police would have had excellent ratings due to us as  we fought to the death on the red carpet. (Kidding! His suit is pretty full on awesome.)

BobaDoug says the movie was pretty cool. I can’t wait to see it!

@TheRichardRyder tells me that I should be on ProudFM tomorrow just after 7am. They also said I may get a copy of my quick little (and fun!) interview with Richard so I can host it on my blog. Hope you can tune in!

Also, I’ve pumped up my AIDS Walk goal to $3000 after I hit the 2K level on the weekend, thanks to my Professor type brother! Thanks Dan!

It’s Friday! Quick before your cubicle fills up, play this loud!

Via Topless Robot…

Those of you not in the know about things Dr Who may enjoy this video purely because of the cute cat. The rest of this will think it’s amazeballs.