Category Archives: Celebs and Media
Restaurant Makeover Farts in Church
Remember how Torontoist hates Restaurant Makeover? Last night they aired the Church Street Diner episode, shot sometime last summer/fall and like some of the post-RM shows, Church Street Diner is closed to this day. Churchies who are in the know, know that CSD was opened and then closed sometime soon after the Restaurant Makeover crew left their special brand of reality tv drama all over the scrapped bunkheads. The title card at the end of the show mentioned that Alfredo and Richard “continue to have hope for the business”, or some such fluff. Well they’re off the radar, apparently, with the diner surreptitiously having an “opening soon” sign on their door through the winter.
This show is approximately 22 min long (with commercials) and contains 20 minutes of fake drama built up between the designer and the contractor. With clever editing and lots of recycling shots of people dancing while they work, they’re able to pad out the show to the hour (with commercials). In last night’s episode, Richard and Alfredo were treated nicely, compared to some snide comments the show hosts would utter on camera regarding the restaurant, the owners, the working conditions. As I suspected, the menu was perfect, with only a few edits and no real complaints to speak of by the hosting chef (she actually complimented them on their use of home made sauces), but the reason the diner was doing poorly was the cramped room it occupies, which (in my opinion) killed the previous restaurant in that space, The Five Alarm Diner. Backing up that theory is the surprise reveal of the owners acquiring of the second floor, sprung on the designer to jazz up just before the makeover started. Act surprised, everyone! Now act worried about time. Now act worried about money.
All my Googling and gossip searching came up with no leads as to why the diner is still closed. I suspect they might have had some issue with licensing the upstairs part of the diner because at one point the designer mentions having problems with “red tape” and mysteriously it’s never mentioned again. The upstairs was a clothing store prior to the makeover and I suspect they couldn’t get a food service license within the 5 days allotted for the show and they went ahead and reno-ed the upstairs anyway. There was a curious lack of discussion regarding the upstairs space, other than the old Restaurant Makeover standard drama of a “load bearing wall” that befuddles the designer (shock!).
I’m saddened by Alfredo and Richard’s struggles since I knew Richard when he was the manager of my local Starbucks (and did a pretty damn good job making the place a fun cafe!). I’d go back to the Cafe if it opened, but it doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon.
One more for the Restaurant Makeover deathwatch!
Walk It Off, Picard
For all you geek whiners out there who complained that the holodeck on Star Trek: The Next Generation could never work because if they walked a mile in simulated reality, they’d bump into a wall after three feet, I give you the plucky Japanese robotic answer to this conundrum:
Last Tango In Jadac
A friend who knows I’m jonesing for Dexter and Mad Men to return, sent me this online game Last Tango In Jadac, based on the Movie Network’s show ZOS (Zone of Separation). The start of the game introduces a character called Speedo Boy, from which you can guess his costume choice (played deliciously over the top by Enrico Colantoni, who geeks will know as the guy who framed Gigolo Joe in Spielberg’s A.I.), and he invites you to wander the streets of Jadac and meet his people.
Being a newbie to The Movie Network, I’m trying to get as much cool, commercial free stuff in as possible and have watched a couple ZoS to recognize the characters around the game. LTiJ is an “interactive fiction experience” that utilizes 3D graphics as navigation, which takes a bit of getting use to to move around, and Flash video that lets you interact with Jadac’s population. Stick with it and you’ll be rewarded with an almost David Lynchian web adventure: surreal, death defying, unnerving and spatially discordant. It’s probably the best form of Flash/Video marketing I’ve seen in a while.
Moving around the square you meet up with many of the characters of Jadac who all want something from you or need to give you advice, drugs or tasks to complete within the game. Ultimately you’re trying to get out of the ZoS without getting zipped up into a body bag, of which I haven’t been able to finish without finding myself getting unzipped by a couple of Canadian peacekeepers (there’s a seriously frustrating bug in the game within the Speedo Boy/Minefield part – the game refuses to recognize any keyboard commands and you instantly wander where you’re not suppose to – boom, you’re dead). While the concept isn’t new the fusion between story and discovery/exploration is worth some attention and compliments the story well. Some areas of Jadac are not safe for work – you can choose to take on the job of porno cinematographer and film a mildly graphic sex scene (men’s bum, a tit) and some are seriously depressing (dressed down scenes of white slavery) but it does have flashes of fun. The stories shift between events and areas as you wander around interacting with characters, giving you a sense of the dark, almost Catch 22 vibe of the show.
LTiJ is a great marketing tool for the show, even if you’re not a fan. It’s worth a few minutes of your time. Pro tip: If you die, stick around for the credits – the final shot is a nice behind-the-scenes look at how they filmed it.
Philosophizing Over That Stone
An interesting synchronicity is occurring between art and real life: The movie The Stone of Destiny is soon to be released and the reenactment of the Plains of Abraham isn’t soon to be happening any time soon, well at least not on the actual ground it took place on.
Hear me out: Both instances are about a chunk of earth, both recall emotions of loss and embarrassment, both political in nature.
In the case of the movie, I can see how our Scottish heroes would want to return that symbol of power, no matter how faded, to it’s former residence – everyone loves an underdog and lets face it, Scottish accents are still bloody hot since Trainspotting. This is of course polar opposite to the feelings of Quebec Federalists who are kiboshed by a strong Separatist movement, blocking the reenactment. Every story needs a villain and in both cases, the victorious English wind up looking like Caesar-like thugs who keep their subservient masses on short tame leashes.
Then I think, “What if Canada was invaded and had some symbol removed from it, would I care enough to dare steal back?”
I’m still thinking about that.
Not being a sport fan I can recognize that many would say Mr Stanley’s Cup or some such figure. But I doubt that, since sports fans were so quick to roll over when the Hockey Night In Canada song was sold off for a song.
The CN Tower? Way too involved.
Rick Mercer? Hmmm, no. He’d annoy his way out of his captor’s grasp and make his way back to us.
The plucky Bonhomme? Close. At least he’s as Canadian as Mickey Mouse is to the US. See English Canada doesn’t really have a symbol, we’ve got most of ours from Quebec or Eastern Canada, so I can’t really think of anything.
Regardless, I would defend her if I had to. But only like Red Dawn, only if the attacking army actually interrupted my iPhone usage.
Why I Love The ‘Net: Steven And Chris Arrive.
SharkBoy tortures me sometimes by making me watch the first half of Steven and Chris. Thankfully he gets bored with their facile banter and moves on. Meanwhile I have no defense or comeback other than to tell my story of how Steven and Chris one day came into my father’s boyfriend’s store where I worked, and experienced up close and personal the down-the-nose personality of Steven and the really-nice-guy chattiness of Chris.
Except for now. Now I can show him how wrong it is to pay them any attention these days. They’ve become an internet joke.
(Via BoingBoing)
New PSB
Listen quick before someone in a suit goes “Hey wait a minnit!”
When Memes Collide
You’ve seen post-dentist drugged kid.
You’ve heard Christian Bale lose it. (Phronk posts a remix that is surprisingly dancy!)
Now see the remix of these two great American films:
And as an added bonus, the brilliant Chad Vader remix (Via Mangina Monologues):
Fire Up Your Segway Jokes
Kathy Griffin’s old ex-boyfriend and co-creator of the Apple computer, Steve Wozniak, is going to appear on Dances With The Stars. Expect one number to feature jitterbugging Segways and Denise Richards to call him a socially inept fat fuck on live TV.
…it’s complicated.
DWTS is a guilty secret shame I harbour. Now that the Woz will be on it, I feel I can safely come out of the closet and say I like the show. It’s like watching Strictly Ballroom every week.
(Via Engadget)
Zero Percent Down, 100% Fun
Having a network of blog friends gets you some pretty sweet perks sometimes. Like RobC getting me tickets to preview a show from the best Toronto comedy club there is: Second City’s 63rd review 0% Down, 100% Screwed.
Man I love Second City show titles. So topical.
I’ve been to SC shows before and I had found that individuals within the cast were always out to put themselves above the troupe by going a bit too heavy on the need-for-attention factor. This time around, the cast of 0% Down felt like a cohesive, funny, and sharing group. Having done improv before I know that getting a team together and having them click without egos or advancement of personal agendas, is nothing short of a miracle. This particular show felt like they not only had created harmony on stage that screamed professional comedy troupe, they would have jumped in front of a comedy bullet for each other if they had to.
The show’s content was your typical sketch/improv comedy content that went from political (Steven Harper entertaining an agreeable Hillary Clinton while Laureen Harper ruins upholstery as Obama orated hypnotically), to topical (a Guantanamo Bay prisoner and a 70s sitcom have so much in common), to downright odd (Fox News attempting to bring their shining example of news journalism to Canada). But here I am 3 days later and I’m recalling the good moments with clarity. Cheap comedy washes off, this show doesn’t, purely because the cast worked so well together. Don’t get me wrong, there were a few lagging moments that can happen in free-forming improv, but I would say the show is 99% polished and well advanced for their March 11 release.
All members of the cast were funny, all had their shining moments, but I want to single out three people from the cast:
Marty Adams: You may know him as the guy who tattooed his chest for Fallsview Casino commercial – backward, in the mirror. His initial scene of playing an 18 inch dwarf was transforming (he’s actually 6ft plus and over 250lbs) had me believing he was gnome-ish. like many larger, physical comedians before him (Candy, Belushi, Farley), you get a sense that Marty stands to create a name for himself purely because of the kinetic, yet honed energy he brings to a scene.
Kerry Griffin: I took a class taught by Kerry at the Bad Dog Theatre and he was bright, attentive and very supportive. I get that feeling that he’s a king pin in this group. He brings a maturity to the show yet drops the odd F-Bomb with the best of them, to keep you off kilter. He’s the king of scene manipulation and while all around him on stage may be drying up, you can tell that he’s brewing something in his sharp mind, 4 steps of everyone.
Finally, Leslie Seiler: Leslie was tasked with two scenes where she had to engage the audience and create scenarios from their suggestions – not for the feint of heart improvisational artist. Yet she showed great control while pulling ideas from shy people. In one particular scene she actually fell off the stage during an overzealous moment of triumph. With stunned silence (do we laugh??!?) the audience waited with bated breath as to her condition. Without comment, she rose from the front row and still in character, used her accident to move the scene on while smiling wildly letting us in on her goof up. Leslie’s most notable when she blithely hauls out one of her fully realized characters, like the way-past retirement, bitter, WalMart greeter begging for shoppers to kill her. Or the psychic charlatan, suspiciously trying to pick up men in her audience. She reminded me of a youthful, updated Andrea Martin and I will be looking out for her in the future.
So, in a word: go. This show is not your typical SC show. It’s got more personality than politics, more clever than cleaving.
Updated 020909 for some wicked grammatical errors. I apologize.