Love ’em or hate ’em, the trend of remaking and “re-imaging” movies won’t go away due to the shocking amount of money we the public lay down on a Saturday night date. You better get use to it.
With Tron: Legacy wrapping up, Joseph Kosinski is slated to start work on another Disney sci fi: The Black Hole which fills me with equal parts of glee (the visuals coming out of Tron are quite amazing) and dread (I hope to god they get a good writer and someone who knows how physics work in space). My only hope for the film is that they get an engineer/artist to recreate the beauty that was the Cygnus, the doomed ship that would venture into the black hole. Though the movie was crap, the design of the ship was the star. Probably one of the last greatest movie model props ever.
I’d like to see Mad Max re-imaged. I would shed no nostalgic tear if they did. When I saw it the first time as a kid on TV, I loved it, but I could tell that it was hacked to pieces for TV. And the version they showed was the one where Mel Gibson’s voice was removed because he was swearing like a sailor is accent was deemed too strong. When I did see the original cut years later, I was impressed and still loved the core of it, but it was like discovering Heidi Montag while she was in mid-surgeries. But only as if I cared about Heidi in the first place. Okay that comparison doesn’t work but you get it.
Speaking of Mel, another I’d love to see redone is Fahrenheit 451 (Filthymouth McNastytounge owns the rights for some weird reason). The original, while highly stylized in a groovy late 60s way, is a snoozefest. I’d love to see it redone as a commentary on digital copyright management. The big scene at the end when Montag (weird… coincidence?) discovers the colony of living books, I’d love to see him try to talk to one of the “books” and they reply with “I’m sorry. I’m only compatible with Amazon’s Kindle. Would you like to purchase one now?” He falls to the ground and with a truck out sky shot, screams “Noooo!” to the heavens.
One other one that would be curious to see redone is Crusing. Actually… thinking about it, nothing would change. Never mind. Move on.
Imagine if they redid Airport? Yeah. Can’t see it without some New York Times article about how it relates back to 9-11. Again, move on…
Do you think Christopher Lee would step into his sleek jumpsuit to revisit his role as Captain Ramses in Starship Invasions? I’d pay to see that. I remember this one as a kid and loved how everyone in the movie just wanted to commit suicide. Fun!
Here’s a short list of movies I wouldn’t lose sleep over (yet would go see if the trailer alone aroused nerd wood out of me) if they re-imaged or remade:
- Saturn 3
- A Boy and His Dog
- Battle Beyond The Stars
- Barbarella
- The Last Starfighter (seriously the CGI in it is “quaint” but needs freshening up)
- Sophie’s Choice
