In the last month I’ve come across a few news stories that make me wonder if parents are teaching kids that it’s ok to blame other people for their own stupidity.

Like the parents who want Tide to change their laundry detergent packs into something less colourful because kids are eating them. Google it. Apparently there are hundreds of kids dying every second of the day because parents are not storing these pods high up enough on shelves. Or keeping an eye on them long enough so that they can move stacks of books into place to get up to where parents have hidden them.

Or the parents who just haven’t taught their kids to NOT EAT LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

The news is littered with stories like this. And ladies and gentlemen, here is where I get up on my front porch and yell at anyone within shouting distance:

When I was a kid (Oh here he goes…) we had toys that would shoot pointed plastic darts out of them. Right at your eye if you weren’t paying attention. We had toys that would heat plastic to dangerous temperatures so that you could make rubbery spiders you would throw at your sister. When I was a kid we had one freakishly scary cartoon PSA on PBS warning kids about the danger of the stuff under the sink. Where the soundtrack would make me wet myself if I even heard one second of it.

Tonight, CTV news did a story about parents who believe their children to be “electrosensitive” and are fighting to ban WiFi signals in school.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Seriously. Electo – Senstive. Meaning the parents believe that their children are allergic (?!) to WiFi signals. Or some such shit. I googled it and came across so much bullshit Facebook posts that I thought I was going to cry.

Thought: how are parents actually posting to FaceBook about this crap while their kids are in the same house? I digress.

I wish only the worst for these parents. I want them to wildly wonder why their kids are being left behind when it comes to career opportunities that involve new technologies. I want these parents to wonder why their kids are shoveling shit.

Whew. Ok. Done. Move along.