You Haven’t Lived…

General

Outside St Mikes 3am…until you hold a loved one in your arms as they spray their bathroom with poop like a fucking CFL turf sprinkler system.

…until you look up from your William Gibson book (Spook Country), your head immersed in a shiny bright fun future world of 2 years ago, to see some guy starting at you with his finger two knuckles up into his nose. He removes said finger to reveal a wet wad of clotted snot/blood. Yes, you’re in a downtown emergency room at 2am.

…until you sit with same loved one, their IV dripping life back into their body, reviving their fluids they pooped out all over an apartment you know you have to go back to clean, listening to a pig being slaughtered in the emergency cubicle next to you. Or at least it sounded like a pig. There was squealing and grunting.

…until you sit with the same loved one, who regained their personality, their humanity back, and both of you listen to a doctor quiz a woman two cubicles over about her sex life: “Are their pains when you have intercourse? Do you have heavy flow?”

Okay it wasn’t that bad, but that was my late Thursday, early Friday morning activities.

10 thoughts on “You Haven’t Lived…

  1. furrywolf

    This one time, on the farm…well, lets just say…never be BEHIND a cow when she is sick and coughs. Roughly 30 pounds per poo, projected at high velocity due to the coughing spasm…me, 7 years old…knocked flat on my ass in more poo. Lets just say, I had to be hosed off, stripped and rode home in the back of the pick-up in a burlap sack to get clean clothes. Hope your family member is better.

  2. Mailman

    Yuk!
    That happened to my brother when we were kids. He had the flu or something. He ran to the bathroom not knowing if he was going to puke or, well you know. He knelt over the toilet to barf and then…….. The bathroom door looked quite different a few minutes later.

  3. Normlr

    I hope they’re OK! I totally thought it was Sharkboy too. Glad I read the comments before I sent a get well card to the wrong person.

  4. Lew

    My Mom always said “the hospital is no place for a sick person!”

    All the best. And I suggest using the Clorox Clean-Up bleach infused spray for clean-up. It does wonders for puking little kids. I’ll testify for that… Over… And… Over… What is it with kids who can’t keep their food down? Weird.

  5. Dead Robot

    How presumptuous some of you are… It was another family member, and I am sure you extend your heart felt thoughts to that person too.

    I apologize to Syl who called 4 of our numbers on Saturday to reach us to see if Sharkboy was ok. I didn’t want to name the family person to preserve their dignity.

    Evil: Love to Paul. Get him some soup!

    Vanyel: The Doc next to us was not exactly using her Library Voice. She insisted that this person needed to take off her underwear. Now.

  6. Vanyel

    Ugh!

    Emergency rooms are the worst!

    Had to rush Mom to the ER a few months back, and it had to be the worst hours of her entire life. The noise level was unbelievable. Good thing they knocked her out at one point or she would have had no rest at all. And the things you hear being discussed would make your hair stand on end. I thought I had heard it all until that night and the following day.

    Hope your loved one is feeling better!!

  7. Evil Panda

    Paul’s sick, too. He’s running a high fever, he went to the doc’s today for antibiotics and a catscan to make sure it wasn’t his appendix getting ready to blow.

    Hope Meesh feels better.

Comments are closed.