I ride the subway every day. I see all manner of weirdness and human degradation every time I take the better way and not much can shock or enrage me anymore.
Except for one thing.
Women applying make up in transit.
For some reason I find it as repulsive as full-on meal eating or sneezing open mouthed. What the hell are they thinking? Unless they have a steady-cam arm, how can they even hope to apply a straight lip line?
I also get kind of sick to my stomach when I start thinking that their make up flakes are flying off their faces as they slather on the foundation, onto my skin. Much like when I get enraged when smokers carelessly flick their cigarette ash out into the world and it lands on me.
It’s one time I wish I was able to fart on command.
Update: I want to be clear, I don’t mind the quick touch up here and there, that’s no bother. But the last person who did this beside me was doing the whole hog.
12 thoughts on “Foundation And Empire”
Okay that TOTALLY MADE ME MISS TORONTO…I’m so homesick.
Last Saturday afternoon I saw a strange guy on the subway lancing a boil on his hand with a pocket knife – it took him all the way from Sheppard to Summerhill to finish.
I was going to give him a piece of my mind when he mopped up with a Kleenex and dropped it on the floor, but thought better of it when I realized that he was dripping blood and carrying a knife.
Give me makeup appliers or even toenail clippers any day, rather than that!
Just this morning, I wrote an email of disgust to DR as my neighbour co-worker was clipping his nails at his desk and I was close to dry heaves. Can’t stand that either.
Oh and by the way, he can fart on command. That or he farts so often it feels like it’s on command.
Once there was this one lady applying cream to her face. She took out the tub of face cream, opened it, dipped her finger in it, dotted her face all over, forehead, cheeks, chin, nose… closed the lid and put the tub bag into her bag, while still having the dots of face cream on her face! Then she took 5 minutes or so to massage the cream in… Why not do it at home? I can’t think what’s next!
PS: About nail cutting, gross, do it at home too!
Farting on command is eeeeaaassssssssssyyyyyyyy, DB!!! You just need to practise a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no problem with a bus being stopped for nail clipping. I’d consider it a bio-hazard. I won’t even let Q do it while I’m in the house. The sound of someone clipping their nails sends shivers through my core. If I do it, it doesn’t bother me, but I still relegate myself to the bathroom.
What? You can’t fart on demand? It’s the biggest benefit from regular Kegel exercises.
Just me, D. I don’t mind someone snacking but it’s when they pull out the family meal from KFC that I get indignant.
Cool about the artwork! I’ll email you…
wow! boihazard eh! i’m with you right there on the nails thing, but i admit to eating on TTC. it’s a social taboo?
also, i have art for you and sharkboy, seriously! if you want it anyway.
And me, Normlr. I’m not well today either. I’d rather Hot ‘N Sour but our local Asian eatery scared the hell out of SharkBoy the other day (flip, flop, plop!).
I’m with you about the nails thing. Did you knw our wonderful TTC union allows drivers to shut down their buses if they find someone cutting their nails while enroute. They deem it a bio-health hazard and are able to stop and wait for a replacement bus.
Oh, and go to Swiss Chalet on your way home and get some chicken soup for your husband.
The only thing worse than that is someone clipping their nails. It’s both an excruciating sound and absolutely disgusting at the same time. Who knows where those little bits of dirty nail end up? They tend to fly through the air sometimes.