Happy Birthday Da!<\/p>\n

I know you’re sad that we don’t come around to borrow the car anymore.<\/p>\n

And our last visit all Sharkboy and I did was snark at each other in your doorway.<\/p>\n

And that you make me happy by hanging that gaudy piece of art in your livingroom that really doesn’t go with the Waterford crystal, but yet it’s hanging up there all proud n’ stuff.<\/p>\n

And that I might have chased off that last guy you were “dating” but he was totally not your type. You need a guy who is confident, sure of himself, calm and intelligent. We should clone you so you could date you.<\/p>\n

And that you have bailed me out of scrapes and near misses so many times in the past. Remember that time in Kitchener, when I made dinner for that guy who never showed up, my first ever stood up date, and you sat with me and ate it with me and said that this would probably happen again in my lifetime? That was you being a really good parent and friend.<\/p>\n

Anyway, it’s your birthday and I’m all happy for you! (guy punch in the arm) Mozeltov!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Birthday Da! I know you’re sad that we don’t come around to borrow the car anymore. And our last visit all Sharkboy and I did was snark at each other in your doorway. And that you make me happy by hanging that gaudy piece of art in your livingroom that really doesn’t go with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-fT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/985"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=985"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/985\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}