Daily responsibilities include dramatically posing on mountaintops for snapshots, showing coworkers how to read maps, and motion capture sessions of being attacked by something the size of a bear (if you\u2019re lucky).<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Good day to you Gentle Sirs and Ladies,<\/p>\n
I am applying for the position of Seasoned Explorer listed on your internet web site. Look no further for I am the man who will lead you to fun and excitement and brand new worlds!<\/p>\n
While I have extensive knowledge of map reading I know more than just to \u201cGo left\u201d when introduced to new terrain. You see, exploring new lands is like charming a fresh lover\u2026 a gentle hand, keen eye and a do-or-die attitude is needed to conquer foreign and dangerous mounds of land things. I have that experience and attitude.<\/p>\n
Once, while leading an exploratory team into the long forgotten sunken caves of Soktuy-Milozan (you could lazily Google Maps that or I COULD SHOW YOU WHERE IT IS!) I became so turned around I had to rely on my own inner ear juice to survive. However with careful reasoning, a strong hand and fantastic jodhpur pants I was able to lead our party of Samantha Perkins Sewing Bee to safety. 30 Helens agree: I was a hero.<\/p>\n
In terms of speed, I can outrun a swarm of killer bees. Just ask Michael Cane. I was his stand-in during the shooting of The Swarm. The director nearly dropped that hack actor to use me as their leading man but due to legal contracting they begrudgingly used Caine. And we all know how well that movie did with him at the helm. Fff!! Speaking of speed, it\u2019s super important to have speed when considering a Seasoned Explorer \u2013 you need to be one step ahead of the competition or those bastards at \u201cEast Indian Exploration and Commerce\u201d Company will outwit you on every turn. Bloody devils had me in a bit of a run on the Orient Express during the Adventure of the Misspelt Yetti. I had to pay off a baggage handler to dump their kit into a river. I WON!<\/p>\n
In terms of being cryogenically frozen, I am your man. I\u2019m from Canada. My skin is pretty much like a fine leather couch found in Starbucks. \u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n
In conclusion, I am your man. That\u2019s all I\u2019ll say about that because time is of the essence. We need to move quickly or else the Ice Panthers of Tsuratuy (don\u2019t look it up, let me take you!) will be raiding the base camp and we\u2019ll have to sleep in the cold!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
With affection<\/p>\n
Sir Edward (Teddington) Healey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Wish me luck!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
BigSabu over on Twitter posted a curious job opening a couple days ago: A Seasoned Explorer NCsoft is looking for an experienced and daring adventurer to act as consultant for our Carbine Studios team on their top-secret project. To be considered, the candidate must have: \u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Excellent cartography skills, especially on newly-discovered terrain \u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1394],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-273","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8125"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}