7:45 am and I\u2019ve just pressed the 19^{th<\/sup> floor button to go up to my dentist. He\u2019s got an office in a swanky Yonge and Bloor address, upper downtown, whose lobby consists of 80s style floor to ceiling marble.<\/p>\n}

Like a stylized Ridley Scott scene of streaming light and isolation, I jab a button and the middle elevator door dings open. I enter the car, turn and press 19. As I step back from the panel I hear some rustling just outside the elevator. Someone is rushing to get to my cab, despite the dearth of free elevators at that hour of the morning.<\/p>\n

Time. Slows. Down\u2026<\/p>\n

He crests the frame of the elevator as I reach out to the DOOR OPEN button. I notice two things: He\u2019s carrying a Tim Hortons large coffee in one hand and a nice attache case in the other. The other thing I notice is that he\u2019s going down.<\/p>\n

Time. Slows. Down. More\u2026<\/p>\n

I see his left foot slip out and his whole frame lists to the left. His shoulder hits the elevator door frame, and probably saved him from going down utterly without support. Meanwhile, with his weight toppling left, his right foot gives on the marble floor and it\u2019s inevitable. It\u2019s a full on fall, people! I have a flash of YouTube videos of smoke stacks that should have fallen one way but comically, ironically fall on the foreman\u2019s F150. But he\u2019s still going down and I snap out of it.<\/p>\n

His left knee hits the marble. He drops the attache for sake of the coffee. His left butt cheek is the next to hit the floor but he\u2019s twisting fast enough to make it his whole ass.<\/p>\n

My hand goes out. But I don\u2019t know where to grab.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s on his ass fully now, torso inside the cab, legs out in the lobby. Incredibly his coffee is unspilt. I want to help him up but I stop as that I can sense he\u2019s super embarrassed about the whole thing \u2013 I know I wouldn\u2019t want to be helped. I then think I can take his coffee to assist in his righting, but then I feel that\u2019s a bit too intimate of a thing to touch. He literally jumps up from the floor.<\/p>\n

As the doors shut we make the usual noises two humans do when faced with a slip like this: \u201cYou ok? Sure? You took quite the tumble there\u2026\u201d etc.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least it\u2019s Friday\u2026\u201d I offer.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t get any worse, right?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

7:45 am and I\u2019ve just pressed the 19th floor button to go up to my dentist. He\u2019s got an office in a swanky Yonge and Bloor address, upper downtown, whose lobby consists of 80s style floor to ceiling marble. Like a stylized Ridley Scott scene of streaming light and isolation, I jab a button and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[3,1963],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1RV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7187"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7187\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}