The little things you have to do when someone dies…<\/p>\n

I’m on the phone with Bell, canceling my father’s phone and internet account. I haven’t dealt with Bell since leaving them 8 years ago for appalling service when I had my Blueberry iMac (“I’m sorry Mr Dead Rewbit, but the person who handles Macs<\/em> is on a break right now.”) and so far, past the smarmy “look how techy we are with voice activated prompts!” voice prompt system, into real conversation with a real person, it’s been a cake walk. When I tell Customer Service rep Sharon why I’m closing the account she seems genuinely sorry.<\/p>\n

We’re finalizing the details.<\/p>\n

“The Internet will be cut off to your father’s apartment on the 20th. Before I do this, is there someone else who would like the account?”<\/p>\n

“Not sure what you mean,” I say, squinting at the phone.<\/p>\n

“Is there a family member or friend who would like to take over the billing of this account. Is there anyone you can think of who would like internet service?”<\/p>\n

“You mean ‘Keep the account alive’?” I intentionally say this, I want her to wince behind her headset. Is she trying to retain a dead customer? “I… don’t think so.”<\/p>\n

“Alright then Mr Dead Robot.” She motors on through the rest of the call. It was the only point in the call where she sounded like she was reading from a script.<\/p>\n

I was Da’s go-to guy for all things internet\/computery. In the grim moment of relinquishing my father’s email accounts, his unused access to the virtual world, Bell wants me to keep paying. <\/p>\n

I’ll have to say Fuck You, Bell. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The little things you have to do when someone dies… I’m on the phone with Bell, canceling my father’s phone and internet account. I haven’t dealt with Bell since leaving them 8 years ago for appalling service when I had my Blueberry iMac (“I’m sorry Mr Dead Rewbit, but the person who handles Macs is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[439],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1Ir","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6599"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6599"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6599\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}