The summer breeze that blows up my shorts and across my face is refreshing. I’m in the shade of a big 7ft canvas umbrella on our company’s top floor patio. <\/em><\/p>\n

What is that smell? I swear it’s like onion corn chips. Should I be hungry by it? Why can’t I focus on this book? I thought In Secret Service<\/em> would be cool to read. I mean who wouldn’t want to read about a cross over non\/fictional with Sir Ian Flemming revealing MI5 and MI6 secrets? I think it was the death of “a popular person” in a Paris tunnel in 1997. I am glad I’m not reading The Passage<\/em> anymore. Not that I didn’t like it – 1000% the opposite. I LOVED it – it’s just 700+ pages huge in hard cover, a burden to lug around. It was like reading a remix\/reimaging of The Stand<\/em> but without the StevenKingy melodrama. I love post-apocalyptic books\u00a0 – I think it’s because it would be cool to scavenge for food while I lived on the top floor of the Sutton Place Hotel, safe from the nightly vampyres. Or zombies. I hope he writes more. He certainly left it open for at least 11 more books. Is that smell a deep rich cheese?<\/p>\n

Ske.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I look up from my book. The breeze makes the canvas flap on the umbrella like a lazy moray eel.<\/em><\/p>\n

What was that? <\/em>And that smell keeps on coming and going. I’m glad I’m only working a couple nights a week now. More time to get things done. Note to self, must get artist’s profile page templates done for ArtWithHeart.ca<\/a> and let them know they’re ready for proof. Is that a hint of sour cream I smell?<\/p>\n

Skreee…<\/strong><\/p>\n

The pole to the umbrella spins a bit in its weighted base.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m so square. Like, not nerdy cool square. When I was doing greeting at the Apple store, I overheard two guys talking about their mutual friend saying rather disgustedly that he was wearing “Old Navy” from head to toe. I wear Old Navy from head to toe. I couldn’t be more squarer if I had dissident students and tanks living in my chest hair. I’m drinking fucking Crystal Light at my desk job, for godssake. I wonder why my 30s raced by me so fast. I’m literally half way through my life, if I had been taking care of myself as a kid. I wonder if I’ll become famous. Is that smell …onion and cheese?<\/p>\n

SKREEEE!<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the wind, the umbrella rises slowly at first, then faster, the pole leaving its moorings. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Holy fuck! And that smell!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I reach out for the umbrella pole and grab it with less than 2 ft left before releasing itself from the table hole. I’m struggling with the whole thing wanting to fly away in the breeze when a second pair of hands shoot past my shoulder. A co-worker had seen the umbrella rise up and came to my aid.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dude! Thanks!<\/p>\n

We wrestle the umbrella back into it’s base.<\/em> As the bottom of the pole hits the base, a splash of rusty red gunk splashes up and hits my glasses, forehead, shirt. I feel the warm rustwater slide down my head, my cheek like fresh blood.<\/em><\/p>\n

Christ! What the fuck!? Ugh! Is that where the smell was coming from?!<\/em><\/p>\n

I fold the umbrella up and head into the office loo to clean the rust from my face. As I pass the good samaratan co-worker, I notice his shoes are off. It is the source of the onion, cheese, warm ham smell. I gag slightly.
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The summer breeze that blows up my shorts and across my face is refreshing. I’m in the shade of a big 7ft canvas umbrella on our company’s top floor patio. What is that smell? I swear it’s like onion corn chips. Should I be hungry by it? Why can’t I focus on this book? I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s9WjY-skreee","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6487"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6487"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6487\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}