photo by pheyblom <\/p><\/div>\n

I get behind you when I’m out doors and watch you litter without remorse by throwing your butts into the street. “But they’re biodegradable!” I hear you wheeze through stained teeth. Unless they disappear within 12 hours then they’re “biodegradable” – which they’re not. I’d love to dump every single butt you dirty slags ever put carelessly onto the streets and magically transport them to just under your sheets in your bed. Maybe then you’ll get the message as to how dirty collectively<\/em> you’re making the city. As I suffer through your clouds of stinky, carcinogenic breath, I walk fast to get past your thoughtless mass, I’m usually met with another one of your kind, blissfully unaware that you’re being dirty, ugly, repugnant.<\/p>\n

Despite the city putting up millions of OUR<\/strong> dollars worth of new garbage cans that assist in the problem of YOUR<\/strong> waylaid butts, you still manage to carelessly dirty these costly cans. I watched yesterday as a trio of smokers butted out by jabbing out their sticks on the shiny new plastic top of a fresh can instead of the metal plate provided. Yay black burns on plastic! This is why we can’t have New Things.<\/p>\n

As an example of how utterly clueless you lazy, thoughtless smokers are, let’s look at the successive laws being generated around saving our government billions of dollars in health costs. Actually I mean “making Ontario healthier” when internally I’m thinking “saving you from yourselves while protecting me from your patulous cloud of dirty, uncontrollable self destructive behaviour”. Toronto, in it’s infinite wisdom has regulated smokers to the sidewalks – no smoking in any enclosed space. Ta Da! Now we find Mad Men quaint! Enclosed dwellings are now free of yellowy stains and lingering ass smell! <\/p>\n

What? You say these gaseous Chimairas are hanging around the front doors too much, leaving their butts on the ground around a doorway and subsequent foot traffic transporting butts\/smoke into the building? Let’s make a law! No standing around a door and smoking! Ta da! Problem solved. Stop your child-like whining.<\/p>\n

Speaking of kids…oh my goodness! Now they’re smoking in their cars! With KIDS! The swift hammer of justice comes down and faboom, we now have a law. The children are safe! Here, let me text that while your lungs clear.<\/p>\n

Can’t you dumb assed idiots see you’re being regulated out of existence? For a reason<\/em>?<\/p>\n