Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

There’s this really weird kid at school and he’s all mysterious and shit. I was by my locker and I had just closed it and he was like, suddenly there! I jumped like 30 feet!<\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

I found an old necklace that my mom had before the divorce. It’s a locket and when I opened it, the weird kid’s picture was in it! I jumped like 30 feet!<\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

I was in gym class and I had to do the balance board and my gym partner was the weird kid and he held my hand and it was suuuuper cold and when it came time to dismount, I jumped like 30 feet!<\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

I think I’m falling in love with the weird kid. He asked me out on a date and I said no but later at the mall he was there and he was eying me by Hollisters and then I was like outside the Gap and he was there eying me and then I felt a chill in the air and I fell in love.<\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

The weird kid has a name! it’s Peytra or Pyrta or something. We call him Petey. I never noticed he had an accent before. But I don’t care what Lisa says, I think it’s cool.<\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

Today Petey made me drink blood. That’ll teach that bitch, Lisa!<\/p>\n

Empty pages follow until the last page:<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Diary:<\/p>\n

Being a vampire sucks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Diary: There’s this really weird kid at school and he’s all mysterious and shit. I was by my locker and I had just closed it and he was like, suddenly there! I jumped like 30 feet! Dear Diary: I found an old necklace that my mom had before the divorce. It’s a locket and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-1e8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4720"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4720"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4720\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4720"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4720"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4720"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}