Sharkboy and I are on the patio of the Eagle playing our “Here’s Your Husband” game. Ive heard of many variations on this nightclubbing pastime but ours is as follows: The third person to walk by\/come through that door\/limp past you from the right, is your husband. The uglier the better because it garnishes all sorts of cruel comments from your friends. Hot guys that walk through usually are met with “That doesnt count” style grumblings. Yeah its childish and pubescent but we do it to stay young.<\/p>\n
As I said, we’re at the Eagle. The last leatherbar in Toronto that doesnt enforce a dress code so you could be in your finest cowhide while standing beside twink tourists that just want to see old fat guys in their finest cowhides. Its Sharkboy’s turn and we’re counting guys coming through the doorway to the patio.<\/p>\n
1… 2…<\/p>\n
#3 steps through. Its Scott Thompson of Kids in the Hall <\/em>fame. He almost timidly sits beside me on the patio bench.<\/p>\n Ive had two instances of contact with Mr Thompson. The first was when I was actually working as a doorman at the Eagle a few years back. My job was to ensure that patrons didnt bring drinks into the bathroom, so I was guarding the bar’s liquor license by standing in front of the loo doors and stopping people going in with bottles or glasses in their hands. One night I stopped Mr T (ha!) and said in my best Assistant Director voice: “Im sorry Mr Thompson, Ontario law now states that liquor is not allowed in non licensed areas.” Quite the mouthful to say to someone hell bent on wizzing.<\/p>\n He looks at me like I just asked him to pull a cat out of my ass.<\/p>\n “Im the Toilet Nazi. No drinks in there,” I condense.<\/p>\n