Lean in close, cb. Here is the secret to my 20lbs in two months! Ready?<\/p>\n

\n
• Eat vegetables.<\/li>\n
• Go to the gym 4 times a week and while you are there, do at least an hour of cardio.<\/li>\n
• Go out and get yourself a book about nutrition. Not a fad diet book, but a serious book about how to eat right<\/li>\n
• Have your doctor tell you you’re going to lose a foot to Diabetes if you don’t change your lazy fuck ways. Have him threaten one last chance<\/em> to change or be medicated for the rest of your life.<\/li>\n
• Watch as the guy who runs the laundromat near your house suddenly re-appears after a few weeks disappearance, with a leg missing.<\/li>\n
• Go swimsuit shopping in the most snooty gay store in the village. Try on something “outside your box”. Give yourself a full 60 seconds in the mirror while the precious shop queen troll is yelling “Is everything alright in there?!” on the other side of the curtain, for the entire shop to hear.<\/li>\n
• Look at the photos of the blogs of the guys you’ll be meeting at Gay Days at Disney<\/li>\n
• Watch in horror as someone cruises your husband as you walk together down the street, like an Italian construction worker walking the Red Light District in Amsterdam, and gives you the briefest of acknowledgment. Hello! Wedding bands!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  In all seriousness, you have to motivate yourself. Tough love works on me sometimes<\/em>. However, I’ve seen pics of you and I think you’re not overweight. I hear the internet removes 10lbs though. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Lean in close, cb. Here is the secret to my 20lbs in two months! Ready? Eat vegetables. Go to the gym 4 times a week and while you are there, do at least an hour of cardio. Go out and get yourself a book about nutrition. Not a fad diet book, but a serious book […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-Xn","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3681"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}