In Technology<\/p>\n

\n
• Steve Jobs will release a new touch screen so small only fetuses will be able to operate them. Moms will be able to download The Wiggles right to their uteri.<\/li>\n
• The Web will grow to include parts of the moon.<\/li>\n
• Microsoft will apologize for Vista and offer everyone who purchased it a lovely card<\/li>\n
• Asus will release a “vanity” computer that will become the rage with teen girls and embarrassed basement-dwelling 40yr olds<\/li>\n
• Nanotech will create “blood” bots that report back to you when you’ve eaten too many chicken wings<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  In Your Life:<\/p>\n

  \n
  • You will find that $20 you lost in September<\/li>\n
  • Hangnails? Forget it! You’re free!<\/li>\n
  • I sense a hobby in your future! Hope you like snorkels!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Have a great year, everyone!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    SharkBoy has a fun visual look back to 2007 so I thought I’d go all Miss Cleo on your asses and look to what this next year will bring: In Entertainment: We’re going to see less and less of Lindsay Lohan. She’s going to be selling Sleepmatic beds by November Brad Pitt will leave Angelina […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-sj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1755"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}