SharkBoy and I were invited to an Xmas party in a downtown condo last week. I won’t say who’s or where, ’cause I’m not a name dropper, but I do have to mention two things about the unit.<\/p>\n

Situated on the 30th floor, this two-storey penthouse faced south and west. It was the kind of home with beautiful furnishings that makes you not notice the fact that you’re in a potentially pretentious condo. Subtle good taste. At one point, after the cater-waiter filled my glass the third time, I noticed the three hanging lamps over the kitchen island swaying simultaneously, slowly. I turned and noticed the crystal chandelier doing the same. I asked the owner if this was a regular occurrence. “Only with winds over 50kph,” he answered. Freaky.<\/p>\n

Later that night, I wandered down onto the “bedroom floor” (two bedrooms, one den\/office, three bathrooms) and had a look around. When I hit the master bath, I had what can only be called “an emotional reaction” to the loo. It was about 30 ft x 12 ft with three sinks, I think. I don’t recall because as I walked in, your eye immediately goes to the end of the long room to the shower.<\/p>\n

The shower. God. It was about 10x12ft glass encased, exquisitely tiled room. Two walls were just that: Glass room divider separated the no-step into the shower area from the sink\/potty zone. The opposite wall was floor to ceiling glass overlooking the gay village from the 30th floor. No tinting, no curtains. Glass. Anyone could, with a powerful enough binoc\/telescope could watch you soap your butt. And wash you could: 7 shower heads (two sets of 3 vertical spigots up either side of the taps, one rapper-hubcap-sized rain spout set into the ceiling) blasted you from many directions. Joan Crawford wept. <\/p>\n

I stood in the shower and pressed my forehead against the glass and looked down. Sheer down the side of the building. I was too stunned at this marvel to be scared. I wanted to dump hot cheese on myself from the buffet upstairs to have an excuse to get naked and take a shower. <\/p>\n

I later had a dream about that shower. I’ve become obsessed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SharkBoy and I were invited to an Xmas party in a downtown condo last week. I won’t say who’s or where, ’cause I’m not a name dropper, but I do have to mention two things about the unit. Situated on the 30th floor, this two-storey penthouse faced south and west. It was the kind of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-sf","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1751"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1751\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}