Us: So stop me if I’m wrong. The world is warming up.<\/p>\n

Scientists: …as we have been saying for a few years now, yes.<\/p>\n

Us: Really? <\/p>\n

Scientists: Yes! <\/p>\n

Us: I think we would have noticed if you had mentioned it. I mean you’re like …wow… big brains and all. You command respect when you say something.<\/p>\n

Scientists: We told you way back in the 70s! You were too busy with your discos and cocaine parties. (Mumbling) Which we weren’t invited to.<\/p>\n

Us: Science brought us coke…<\/p>\n

Scientists: (rubbing eyes) Yeah. Okay. Our bad. Now. About the warming.<\/p>\n

Us: Well it seems to us that since we’re all in this mess and you have the big brains…<\/p>\n

Scientists: (wary) …yes….<\/p>\n

Us: …that you should really be working on faster than light travel…<\/p>\n

Scientists: Oh lord…<\/p>\n

Us: So that we can go to Mars or some other planet to, you know…<\/p>\n

Scientists: Use.<\/p>\n

Us: Yah. Use.<\/p>\n

Scientists: Why don’t we try to change things here?<\/p>\n

Us: Uh hun! No way! That means giving up my car. Possibly my Costco membership.<\/p>\n

Scientists: Look. If we do build an FTL ship, I can assure you that Scientists will be Atlas Shrugging our way on it as soon as we can.<\/p>\n

Us: …Is. That some sort of code?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Us: So stop me if I’m wrong. The world is warming up. Scientists: …as we have been saying for a few years now, yes. Us: Really? Scientists: Yes! Us: I think we would have noticed if you had mentioned it. I mean you’re like …wow… big brains and all. You command respect when you say […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-ky","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1274"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}