I invented a new drink this weekend: Zero G. Its Diet Sprite Zero with Gin. None of those pesky carbs like beer!<\/p>\n

When you are at a blender party and they have a mist rope in full sunlight, remember to get out of the mist every so often. You’re just mangnafying the UV rays on your scalp. Especially after two 4oz Banana Daquiris.<\/p>\n

Again at the blender party, gay men seem to lose certain levels of inhibitions after four 4oz Mudslides. Picnic tables are not rimming benches.<\/p>\n

If you are a horrible dancer, expect bitter people to laugh at you.<\/p>\n

No matter how hard you try to get people to use the right terminology, some people will still refer to web pages as links.<\/p>\n

Blueberries are fantastic fresh.<\/p>\n

The stuff inside pupating moth thingies will pop with a sickly ooze when mistakedly squeezed.<\/p>\n

The guy you just hired might actually know a hell of a lot more than you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I invented a new drink this weekend: Zero G. Its Diet Sprite Zero with Gin. None of those pesky carbs like beer! When you are at a blender party and they have a mist rope in full sunlight, remember to get out of the mist every so often. You’re just mangnafying the UV rays on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-h6","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}