Hey kids! Shelly here!<\/p>\n

So Blamb thought Superman Returns<\/em> was too long. I wonder if he’s sat through POTC-DMC yet. Shiver me timbers, you could have lopped off 45 minutes of this waterlogged, barnacle encrusted clam and still had a halfway decent movie (don’t expect a pearl inside though, just irritated muscle – my ass from sitting so long). The trend this year seems to be “keep ’em in their seats!” as Hollywood seems to over-compensate for a few years of digital movies devoid of story. Be prepared to be borded by confusion as you try to remember plot points from the last movie a couple years back as instances and characters are shoved out on the plank and pushed over into the sea. Yeah I missed some bits.<\/p>\n

Depp doesn’t dissapoint. He does grate on you a bit after a while, but he doesn’t waiver from his lurchy antics. Yeah. I know, I know for Neptune’s sake. HE’S CHANNELING KEITH RICHARDS. Got it. <\/p>\n

The rest were… Oh why bother? This movie supposively was the top grossing opening weekend movie ever. What can I say to take that back? <\/p>\n

2 out of 5 shells kids. Let this one pass you by like a ship in the night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey kids! Shelly here! So Blamb thought Superman Returns was too long. I wonder if he’s sat through POTC-DMC yet. Shiver me timbers, you could have lopped off 45 minutes of this waterlogged, barnacle encrusted clam and still had a halfway decent movie (don’t expect a pearl inside though, just irritated muscle – my ass […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":430,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WjY-h5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1059"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/430"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1059\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.deadrobot.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}