I know I’m years behind on this, but I’ve had Evil Panda breathing down my panties to sign up for this game. Last night I downloaded the demo and started to wander about. And then realized I have no clue where he would be, let alone what race he is.

Cue terse email to EP, asking to be brief about what to do next.

What follows is his hilarious response about races in WoW (edited for content):

Tauren: Big minotaur-looking guys, based loosely on Native Americans as far as culture goes. They can be Hunters, Druids, Shaman, or Warriors. They’re probably the most noble of the Horde races.

Orcs: Not like the Lord of the Rings orcs, they’re more like Star Trek Klingons…warrior culture highly based on clans and honor. They were enslaved by demons and brought through a portal from Draenor to conquor Azeroth.

Trolls: Jamaican accents. Think of every bad depiction of a headhunting tribe in Africa, and you basically have the basis for the Trolls. Dancing around a stewpot filled with white explorers, etc. There are many troll tribes, but all players are part of the Darkspear tribe, which is a little more civilized than their cousins. Trolls can be Hunters, mages, priests, shamans, warriors or rogues.

Forsaken (Undead): One of my favorite races, because they’re so tragic. They were basically humans and elves infected with a demon-created plague that has turned them into the living dead (HIV-victims). They’re bitter and pissed about it, some are trying to take revenge against the undead who are still fighting for the Lich King, others are trying to create a new plague that will kill the rest of the living on the planet (granted, the living are trying to kill them right back, and kind of started it to begin with). Undead can be Mages, Priests, Rogues, Warriors and Warlocks. They also get some pretty neat racial bonuses, including the ability to cannibalize the corpses of enemies to regain health. They also have the best racial mount (Skeletal Horse).

Blood Elves: The prettiest race on the planet. Imagine a city filled with lovely blond raver children, and you kinda get it. They’re also magic crack-addicts, as their source of magic was destroyed and they’re desparately trying to build a new one. Can be a hunter, mage, warlock, rogue, priest or paladin.

I made a Tauren character and went off and killed some birds to start. But now I want to be pwned!