Author Archives: Dead Robot

Newzy Grab Bag

Celebs and Media, Disney, Distractions 2 Replies

Darth Vader tries to shoo an Angry Bird with his lightsabre, gets sued when he hits a bystander. Oh and said bystander is suing the Orange County AIDS Walk too. Just because. Dick.

Robert Sherman died last night. Sadly, the co-creator of such childhood tunes like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and the theme from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (which in turn spawned countless childish poo songs – at least at the school where I grew up) passed away last night in London.

I could talk about how our Mayor took another body blow in his loss of control over the TTC board yesterday but I think I’ll just mention he gained another pound (2 weeks running!) in his “Cut the Waist!” campaign. I think it’s reflective as to how he’s running this city, really.

What do you think tomorrow’s Apple/iPad 3 event will bring? A landscape aspect iPad, you say??

Here are some unearthed (ha!) behind-the-scenes pictures from the set of Star Trek. I detect 94% Awesome, 3% WTF and trace elements of clicking.

Work Emails

Work 1 Reply

To: Dead Robot
From: Scott
Subject: New email Ad

Hey buddy! Need a new email with the subject line: You’ll earn rewards no what with OurCompanyAir!

Can you use a picture with a guy or girl holding a phone and a mouse to their head.

—–

To: Scott
From: Dead Robot
Subject: Re: New email Ad

Can’t seem to find such a specific image that works – why “a mouse to their head”? Here’s a better image concept:

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To: Dead Robot
From: Scott
Subject: RE: Re: New email Ad

I guess you couldn’t find a person holding a phone in one hand and a mouse in the other?

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To: Scott
From: Dead Robot
Subject: RE: RE: Re: New email Ad

In my search to fill your request, I had a woman sitting at a computer while talking on a cell phone. I was going to use it but it was pretty boring. So boring that I fell asleep looking at it. My head hit my desk and bounced off the keyboard and I subsequently started to bleed a lot (you know, like a pro wrestler does when they’re hit with a chair in the ring?). So blood is pouring everywhere and Terrence, you know, my cube-mate, started to scream like a pre-teen at a Justin Beiber concert but not like… you know… excited happy, just excited grossed out. He’s screaming, like I said, and then Dave the Marketing director comes out of his office and he starts to throw up. Like “Stand By Me” vomit throw up… projectile. Did you see “Stand By Me”? Anyway, we got blood, we got vomit and then Susan, my manager, comes around the corner and starts to laugh. So woosh, she pees herself laughing. No warning – floodgates open and we all were drenched… You can imagine what the 5th floor is like now. All because you wanted that weird graphic.

————

To: Dead Robot
From: Scott
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Re: New email Ad

Sheesh! Grouchy?

Media Overload

Distractions Leave a reply

This weekend, SharkBoy and I basically hit the “Reset” button after one week of vacation and two weeks of being sick. We did the photo challenge on Monday, as you might have seen, but we also saw an incredible amount of movies over the weekend. Here are some mini reviews, because you value my internet opinion, don’t you!?

Monsieur Lazhar: Nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Oscars for good reason: It’s subtle, powerful, thoughtful and interesting. It’s a movie that stays with you a few days after you see it, making you realize nuances within it’s minimalist style. I had one story structure complaint but can’t discuss it without spoiling it. It’s not a huge thing, just a personal preference hoobly doo that really doesn’t kill the story. All the kids in the movie did such an amazing job with their roles and characters that I feel they deserve to be shipped to LA for the Oscars, a la Slumdog.

Hawaii (1966 – Home DVD): This movie, while beautifully shot, made me angry. An epic when it was released, I had never heard of it before this weekend. SharkBoy bought it as part of this “We’re going to Hawaii on our Tenth Anniversary or ELSE” kick he’s on right now. A very young and rigid Max von Sydow plays a strict Missionary sent to the lush island of Hawaii in the mid-1800s, to “turn the savages to God” and winds up falling in love with his protegees and their ways. A bit Dances With Wolves, but not so heavy handed. I got angry because of the script: lots of broken “He make big stink no walls in church!” kind of talk from the “natives” and Max’s character was an asshole, for the most part of the movie. The long… long… movie. But still, it was a Cinemascope visual treat!

Speaking of Hawaii, we saw The Descendants too. I knew nothing about this movie other than what I gleaned from the trailer – which was nothing other than George Clooney trying to look at his daughter from afar. Which as it turns out, is only 1/10th of the movie. I cried a couple times – it was hard not to relate to Matt (Clooney) as his wife died after being taken off life support. However, I loved every single second of this movie: the secrets discovered, the release of anger, the acceptance of responsibility in the face of adversity – it made me happy. Also it was easy to like each and every character in this movie, including the stupid, stoner boyfriend. I hope it wins a couple Oscars.

Sunday, we got up early and avoided apartment chores by going to see Chronicle. The similarities to Akira are pretty rampant… If someone were to say that Chronicle was the official US version of Akira remake, I’d be satisfied – it hit all the plot points and felt like it was influenced enough to be accepted as it’s own movie, and not a ridiculous rip off of the Japanese classic. Chronicle uses “found footage” style (think Cloverfield, Blair Witch, etc.) and never once did it slip up with jump cuts or switching camera sources. I’d give it 8 out of 10 and may buy it when it comes out.

And finally, we met up with Sean and Josh to catch up, chat and see the movie The Woman In Black. Which I disliked. Not “hate”, mind you. I guess I’ve never really gotten into ghost story movies. I find they ask too much of me to suspend my disbelief that ghosts exist, let alone do harm to someone. Other than making you pee your pants, I guess. I loved how this movie was shot, don’t get me wrong – it was like an Edward Gorey book come to life, complete with a mansion high on a hill, secluded daily by tides and tracks of mud and muck surrounding it. Did I “notice” Harry Potter all through it? I’m happy to say no. Daniel Radcliffe may slip away from this albatross around his career’s neck but he needs to bring some of that Broadway character variety to his screen career. No more ghosts and supernatural stuff, please.

There was TV in there too – SharkBoy is on a Fantasy Island kick right now and I’m amused by how Mr Roarke’s character is nearly god-like, mystical, in it. Also, I’m 3 disks away from finishing Battlestar Galactica so don’t anyone tell me who the last Cylon is.

Weird Days at Disney

Disney 1 Reply

SharkBoy is a bit more stylish when he visits Disney – his tees reflected the parks we visited: Animal Kingdom? He wore a shark shirt. Magic Kingdom? “I (heart) (Mikey Mouse ears)”. Me? All I wore this trip was Star Wars tees (and one Alien referenced shirt for Hollywood Studios).

This is where I adjust my tin foil hat: Every 3rd ride, a Cast Member would see whatever Star Wars shirt I had on and would say “Are you excited about Star Wars Episode 1 coming out?” or “Are you going to see ST:Ep1 in 3D?”

After the third comment, I suspected that the Cast Members were instructed to mention this to “fanboys” to generate buzz for the movie.

Which, by the way, is still hovering around 50% on Rotten Tomatoes and only made $7M this weekend. So they recovered the cost of the 3D conversion (which I’m told is not very good). But this is another post entirely.

I started to wonder if Disney is trying to plant the suggestion to go see Star Wars. Not that they have a lot of stock in it (other than Star Wars Weekends and the Star Tours ride). Or it was just a bunch of nerdy Cast Members in a gigantic coincidence.

Weird bit #2: I’m pooping in EPCOT. That’s not weird. Nor is the father/son combo in the stall beside me having a father/son conversation about pooping, either. No. Regular stuff. I hear from the stall next to me that the son has finished and Dad asks him to wait outside the stall while he does his business. I see two tiny sneakers under my stall door face one way, then the next… then face away from me and tilt on an angle that suggests he’s leaning on my door…

Suddenly my stall door swings wide and the kid stumbles backward, right towards my naked lap.

My hand shoots out for the door stopping it from opening fully and managing to upright the kid. “Whoa buddy!” I say as he leaves my stall, fast.

Okay. Several factors in play here. I’m a gay male, nearly 47 years old, wandering wide-eyed like a child through manufactured fantasy lands of plastic and make believe – Bald, old and acting child-like is not “normal” but I do it anyway. I’m also painfully aware that some people do mistakenly confuse “homosexuality” with “pedophilia” and will govern themselves around strangers such. On top of that, parents seem more overprotective of kids these days – evident when you hear parents call to them to “stay close” when you wander by.

So when a kid is launched at me while my pants are down in a place where parents are rabidly defensive of their young, I managed to freak out a bit. I had visions of being hauled off to some Disney detention area in a Kafkaesque nightmare where I had to explain why I was in a bathroom stall with a 5 yr old kid that I didn’t know.

“What’s going on out there?” the father asks.

“Just a door accident!” I shrill, finishing my business and hauling my pants up. As I exit the stall, the kid is gone and I leave quickly. Whew.

Weird Thing #3: I always said the “bubble” around Disneyland is much thinner than Disney World. By that I mean, Disneyland’s manufactured reality is much more fragile and can be easily popped, making real world rush in and ruining the fantasy, than it can be while at Disney World – purely because the real world is so very close to the gates of Disneyland. During our last stay at Disneyland, as we walked from the park to our hotel across the street, we were exposed to panhandling and drunk teens. Over in Florida, you’d have to travel very far out of the World to see that (or at least go to Downtown Disney for the drunk people).

So when this video of a “drunk” (?) man getting pepper sprayed a couple times by Disney Security (and subsequent frat boy admiration from the guy video-ing the whole incident), I’m not entirely surprised this happened. Our last night at Disneyland, we saw groups of drunk people in the park, yelling like idiots while on Splash Mountain, holding each other up as they staggered down Frontierland, acting like assholes. Seeing this video, I wonder if Disney is having a bit of an alcohol problem?

Family Day Photo Funtime Challenge

Distractions 5 Replies

Another long weekend with gorgeous sun, another photo challenge with Sharkboy!

See his pikchurs here.

Come back to mine when you’re ready to tell me I won!