Dear Diary:
There’s this really weird kid at school and he’s all mysterious and shit. I was by my locker and I had just closed it and he was like, suddenly there! I jumped like 30 feet!
Dear Diary:
I found an old necklace that my mom had before the divorce. It’s a locket and when I opened it, the weird kid’s picture was in it! I jumped like 30 feet!
Dear Diary:
I was in gym class and I had to do the balance board and my gym partner was the weird kid and he held my hand and it was suuuuper cold and when it came time to dismount, I jumped like 30 feet!
Dear Diary:
I think I’m falling in love with the weird kid. He asked me out on a date and I said no but later at the mall he was there and he was eying me by Hollisters and then I was like outside the Gap and he was there eying me and then I felt a chill in the air and I fell in love.
Dear Diary:
The weird kid has a name! it’s Peytra or Pyrta or something. We call him Petey. I never noticed he had an accent before. But I don’t care what Lisa says, I think it’s cool.
Dear Diary:
Today Petey made me drink blood. That’ll teach that bitch, Lisa!
Empty pages follow until the last page:
Dear Diary:
Being a vampire sucks.
9 thoughts on “Vampire Diaries”
yes,no,no more than usual
Yes, but would you let your daughter marry one? Would she have to convert? Would that make Xmas awkward?
What’s not to love about vampires? Gorgeous men with sexy accents and endless stamina and a touch of dangerousness (except for their beloved of course) who come alive at night and let you get on with your life in the daytime?
Vampires are very in, It was hot when they were doing the equivilant of snowballing freshly drunk blood. Now’s there’s a public health’s worst nightmare.
Both my teenage nieces love this stuff. And their mums do too. Its nothing more than the usual romance novel except the dark and mysterious stranger is slightly more off the wall than the historical equivalents (Heathcliff, Darcy…).
Have you been to a bookstore lately? My local bookstore has AN ENTIRE WALL devoted to teen “literature”, which consists of:
Teen Romance involving vampires (Twilight, etc.)
Teen Romance involving witchcraft (Harry Potter with hormones)
That’s it. The entire wall is like some goth/emo girl’s wet dream. Lots of black/dark red/purple color combos on the spines. Pointy gothicy fonts.
I have not read any of these, but I’m sure they’re all destined to become instant classics
not having seen (or heard of, until now) the show, i’ll take a guess: vampirism is often a cheap metaphor for sexual expression, so media for teens that feature vampires are just lurid porn/erotica/romance fests. they’d never get aired if they presented the vampire character as a human, but the euphemism is powerful enough to make 95% of the concerned parent types instantly zone out, despite the obviousness of the symbolism. then again, if the concerned parent types spent any time at all doing any critical thinking, they wouldn’t be freaking out when their kids haul out their genitals and fuck.
I don’t get why every show these days has a vampire in it.
That right there was 100 times more entertaining than the show.