There’s a little thing called ComicCon going on somewhere in geek heaven and over on Io9.com, a lucky blogger relates 25 minutes of James Cameron’s long awaited 3D zuggarat Avatar. You remember James? Big in the 80s? Like Michael Jackson, Avatar is to be James’ big comeback but without the shady painkillers addiction.

A room of assembled newbie soldiers are sitting in a room in Pandora’s Hell’s Gate station while the grouchy, Na’Vi-hating Colonial Quaritch explains their new mission. “You’re not in Kansas, anymore. You’re in Pandora.” Everything on Pandora he explains, is deadly. Every plant and animal out there “wants to kill you and eat your eyeballs. Worst of all are the Na’Vi, who are designed for survival, their bones reinforced with natually (sic) occurring carbon fiber.

“My job,” he continues, “is to keep you alive. I won’t succeed —” he waits a beat “— not for all of you.”

I can’t decide if the description isn’t well written or I’m just not interested. The play by play rambles on, telling us the paraplegic hero, while “driving” his “avatar” around this hospitable world, is saved by a  (sexy?) female native. Diving into the comments I find salvation:

Don’t get me wrong, sounds awesome. But *sniff, sniff – looks around in alarm* I smell Dances With Wolves. – danield3013

Cameron took too long developing this project that uses sci fi concepts that were amazing 10 years ago, causing it to loop back onto itself and implode, hype-wise. Meanwhile he wraps an old story around the 3D tech Disney has already perfected in UP. Think Aliens meets Pocahontas meets Fern Gully. While he was technologically navel gazing, we’ve seen South Park make fun of shut ins using avatars in their brilliant WoW episode an very soon we’ll see Bruce Willis running around in his own avatar in a wig, but without the pioneer-guilt built in: