Pride 2009 – Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop Drinking

Celebs and Media, Queer stuff, Toronto
Toss that over here, Hot Stuff!

Toss that over here, Hot Stuff!

Well, that was fun!

Full Weekend Photos here

SharkBoy and I relied on the zen approach to Pride celebrations: walk, wander, observe and listen to our bodies. If we got a text to meet up somewhere we did. If we wanted to sit on the wall outside the 519 Community Centre and just watch the flow of people, we did just that. Couple of observations:

Public drunkenness skeevs me. A lot. Especially when the drunks have a heightened sense of “celebration” than myself. And look kind of “just off the subway” suburban. Mostly the drunk people were (I assume) were straight Ryerson students flowing up from the university. Not sure if Pride is in talks with Rye security…?

When you’re so drunk you can’t walk, transporting a 6-er of glass beer bottles is probably not a great idea. A poor chap fell face first onto the sidewalk with a beer-popping SPLAT, tried to get up and slammed face first into The Ladybug Flower shop’s window, which miraculously stayed intact. It was comical and frightening at the same time. Being right across from the Volunteer centre (the beer store parking lot) you’d think the security would be more attuned to open, public drinking.

Drink unitl you get an Arty Shot!

Drink unitl you get an Arty Shot!

Bunny ears were in vogue this season. Light up ones even more so. I mused to myself that a cart of souvenirs of nothing but light up crap would make a mint. Much like at the Disney night time parades.

We got to Church and Bloor at about 11:45am for the 2pm parade. Our group of 8 all got a spot on the fence. Of course it got busy and the 8 of us compressed to 5 of us on the fence, 3 taller ones in behind as the place filled up. Remember, it’s raining and miserable, but we stuck it out for all that time. Now, at ten minutes before the parade starts we had to fend off three different sets of people who thought it was ok to just show up and shove to the front of the barricade. At one point I very uncharacteristically told a woman to chew my dirty ass because I had been waiting for almost three hours and there was no way she was going to get up to the front just by showing up as the parade started. This has happened to me at other events too, like The Santa Claus Parade and St Patricks as well as past Prides.

THIS! IS! SEXY!

THIS! IS! SEXY!

I took my own advice and managed to only spend money on water and drinks. Lots of drinks. After the parade we wound up racing to the Black Eagle with Jack and some of his friends and had a burger on the patio and a few beers. And a few more. It was nearly embarrassing. SharkBoy and I have not drank like that since the campground. The pictures are self explanatory.

And My Pride Miracle, you ask? Lean in close. Here it is:

The parade is underway. We’re standing right up against the barracade at Church and Bloor where the vehicles and walking divisions merge and go on their merry way, parade-ready. Various floats are tossing freebies into the crowd with gay abandon, mostly condoms and cheap plastic beads (which the people behind me thought was mana from the gods for some reason and kept slamming into my backside) so being a the “beginning” of the parade they were tossing a lot.

As the mayor’s float went by, there was the usual hootering and hollerin’ but I took it upon myself to get into the original spirit of Pride and get political:

“STOP THE STRIKE! STOP THE STRIKE NOW!” I shout this a few times in the general direction of the City of Toronto float, much to the horror of SharkBoy. You could feel him shrink.

Suddenly I make eye contact with Mayor David Miller just as he’s tossing beads into the crowd. I breathe in and shout at the top of my lungs while locking eyes: “STOP THE STRIKE!!!!”

He reels back and like some star Blue Jays pitcher, and beans me with a set of purple beads. Bong! Right in my forehead. I shit you not.

“Thanks!!!” I yell back with utter honesty and a smile!

Celebrity negates .

3 thoughts on “Pride 2009 – Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop Drinking

  1. William

    BONG! Oh man, that’s all win. (same william as on SB’s site) Gotta remember Miller is a big guy, didn’t know he had an arm on him though.

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