Every household has it. The one seat that is the most coveted, most comfortable, most desirable seat in front of the TV. It may be directly head on to the tube or slightly offset near the armrest of the couch but it’s the one seat that is genetically inbred to us all to be the one seat we must sit in.
With that established, there are inevitably always rules to leaving this seat in a crowded room with the intention of returning to it. Especially if it involves de-chairing in front of family or close quarter room mates. In my experience there is almost always an oath you must utter before your ass leaves furniture to ensure your seat is yours upon your return. Usually it’s something obvious like “Savesies” or “Don’t take my seat” or “If you take my seat I will kill you in your sleep”. My sister-in-law has her kids say “Fives” meaning “Back in five minutes”. Simple.
SharkBoy’s family didn’t have this, but typical French reverse structuring, they had a saying after you lost your seat: “Un chien qui chasse perd sa place” which roughly translates to “A dog that hunts, loses its nuts”. Or something like that.
Growing up, my family (4 sibs, two exasperated parents), use to use the words “Splat and TV”. I have no clue where that came from. But it solved many rabid moments of fistacuffs.
8 thoughts on “Reserved Seating”
I totally remember the lime limits! Thank you for reminding me!
Y’know, ‘TV’ was meant to hold it for 5 minutes. When that apparently proved to be too short a time to be able to 1)go pee, and 2)get a drink, we added ‘Splat’. That was supposed to hold the spot for an additional 10 minutes. Unfortunately, we never really could tell time and disregarded the commands anyway, in hopes that said Splatter would get distracted and not return.
i have the big white one you like. the other is on semi-permanent loan to a sex farm.
as luck would have it, with three siblings…our parents set-up the family room with two couches, a chair(always Dad’s) and as time went along, two bean-bag chairs(late 70;s). There was always a place to sit…although the bean bag chairs became the contested seat, but my older brother always seemed to be able to get one as he could fart at will and would sit on you and fart to get the chair he wanted. To this day he can still fart at will…he’s 44! Now-a-days, the cat likes to take my seat when I get up as I seem to give off large amounts of heat and she loves any spot that is warm.
andrew, do you still have those two barber chairs? Remember how they were directed towards the TV? The white one was nicer.
My household did’t have that chair either. Seating was determined based on chronological hierarchy. I, being the youngest, had to sit in the backyard.
you lie. my household has no such chair.
the idea that a chair could become a favourite of anyone simply because of its proximity to an appliance sounds freakishly like a subplot to a jodorowsky comic.
the best seat in the house is the one your ass likes most.
we also had this saying re: people who bite:
un chien qui mord merite la mort.