I’ll admit it. I’m fashionally challenged. My main outfit is chinos and casual dress shirts (which means usually anything that has buttons up the front) for work with weekends seeing me in t-shirts and whatever is clean. I am ripe for a reality tv show to come swooping in and humiliate me.
But I do know when an outfit looks obviously, horribly wrong on someone. Which gives me the right to bitch about it.
On the weekend, Sharkboy and I were walking by The House Of Lords and spied a group of hairdressers loading up a car outside the shop. They were all dressed like rockers: graphic tees, spiky hair, studded belts, “dirty” extremely low rise jeans. I’m not adverse to this style; I actually like it. It reminds me of my youth. However, one particular Scissorhand stood out: he was slightly pudgy (again, who am I to complain, right?) and was delegated the one to do all the heavy lifting. As we walked by, he finished putting a big box into the back of their car, leaning far to get it in there. And in doing so, his tight low rise pants gave up the modesty ghost and revealed a lot more than I think the pudgy rocker/scissorhands bargained for.
Black cheap underwear, grey waistband. Enough material above his waistband and across his ass showing that when he stood upright, chubby buttcheecks closed in on the fabric. Trapped gitch in his crack.
There are things I know I should see that will change my life: the true unfiltered media from Iraq, the actual ice caps melting from mountains, horrific natural disasters to tweak my generosity gland. I do NOT need to see some plump hairdresser’s underwear bunch up on him when he’s getting sweaty moving boxes. If you have some compelling need to show the world your underwear then why not just walk around in your underwear? And if you do show it off, then please please please spend more than $2 on a pair of under garments. God, a name brand at least!
People. Low rise jeans on a man showing ample underwear/buttcrack is as pretty as capri pants with sandals on a man. No no no no.
12 thoughts on “I Don’t Know Fashion”
Low rise jeans on a man showing ample underwear/buttcrack is as pretty as capri pants with sandals on a man.
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Donny Dukes? Is that part of general pop culture or is that named after a specific Church St doorman?
Sorry DR, I just noticed that s n @ t c h inbedded itself as an e-mail address.
Capri’s, coulottes, clam diggers – call them what you want they are supposed to be worn by women. Men are supposed to wear basket showing, ass-hugging Donny Dukes – like Daisy Dukes but not cut all the way up to the sn@tch – more mid-thigh so when they sit down there in a distinct chance their going to show something.
I like Butchy’s fashion sense – he’d fit right in up here in Tranna.
capris scream girly girl or circuit twink. Some guys wear them at the gym and I cringe every time I see them. Especially if they have frosted or bleached hair…two more signs of the girly girl or circuit twink. Even the women cringe when they see guys in them.
The red union suit(long underwear with trap door) under the shorts…butchie you sound hot, woof!
The other thing I hate about Toronto area clothing is the skin-tight stretchy pants the women wear with midrift tops showing their gut rollover. They look like muffin tops. Do they own mirrors? Its worse if they have a tatto and a thong and cutesy pink flowered flip-flops.
shants = delish (just below the knee)
capris = blargh (3/4 lenght pants) and worse if worn with construction boots to give them that extra macho feel
I’ll have you know that capris on men–manly men (read: me)–are still very much in. But I prefer to call them Shants; not shorts, and not pants–but a lovely marriage of the two.
I have a shants romance.
AAaand that probably works for you.
I wear red long johns under my shorts.
You make the fashionistas proud!
ahahaha.. capris on a man.. didn’t they leave us for good last summer?
Be happy he was wearing underwear and not going commando.
Some clothing should come with weight restrictions.