Honestly ask yourself if you have any regrets. Dig deep.
Of course you do!
Here are some of mine:
I regret that I never dressed up wild in high school. I did a few envelope pushing things like dye a strip of tiger orange along the side of my head (thank you Lady Beautiful Upper Lip Bleach) or apply 100 tiny gold saftey pins to the lapel of a 3rd hand tux jacket. But I would eventually revert back to nice middle class kid shirt and jeans.
I regret that I never tried to bag my best friend in high school. He’s a cop now. That would have fueled so many masturbatory fantasies…
I regret not taking more drugs. The worst I’ve ever done was acid (twice), an “E” in the mid 90’s and The odd toke at a party. That’s it. I’m uncomfortable outside my skin but yet I can’t help feel that I’ve missed some sort of Hunter S Thompson-esque kind of spiritual revelation other than “HOLY SHIT MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME IF SHE FINDS OUT I’M HIGH”
I regret every illicit chemical I ever put into my body. Every time I did do drugs, I hated all but one moment of my entire drug experience. Once, while at a bar, on one of those hits of acid, the beer bottle I had in the washroom stall with me while I peed, arched it’s back and sighed. That’s the best I can describe it. Every other time, I wanted down far too soon before the body had flushed whatever it was processing.
I regret not being more social. I’m not a “tons of friends” kind of guy and I’ve made my peace with that, but I see people with hoards of friends and wonder where I went wrong. I bathe. Usually, I have one or two really close friends at a time and then move on. I don’t know how people with a million aquaintences can handle that-brain like a rolodex, remembering every detail of their first to last meeting.
I regret certain things I’ve said in social situations. Like “Wow, you’ve worn nicer things,” or “Is that all?”
I regret not learning another language. I tried. I really tried to learn French when I lived in Ottawa. I got pretty good too (If you count actual French tourists laught at me while I directed them to a nice restaurant as “pretty good” then you and I are friends). But it didn’t stick.
I regret buying that Blueberry Mac. Next time, I’m going to wait until the geekboys spend the time and money to iron out the bugs.
I regret not kissing Sharkboy goodnight last night. Must. Never. Forget. To. Appreciate. Him.
15 thoughts on “Regrets, I’ve Had a Few”
mentos come in handy too!
I pray the picture of that perm never makes it to my husband’s shaky hands.
Rippa: at 5am, when I read your comment, I was wondering why you wanted “mentos”
i regret having that sixth abortion cuz 2 months later in ended up in mexican jail and i coulda traded that baby for at least a carton of menthols.
I regret the time I permed my brother’s hair and 1/2 of it fell out as we were pulling out the perm rods.
sorry, bro
Regrets are just stegers, backwards…
(I regret that comment…)
My biggest regret is not becoming the most authoriative scholar on the works of Al Purdy.
Sigh.
My memory is too poor to have regrets.
Joan: I knew you were laughing at us the whole time (you were also pissed we started without you), that just made me more anxious.
Busdriver: anyone who spends $1000 on robotic kitty legs for their cat would be a great parent.
I regret never having a kid.
Yes, a child. Boy or girl. Don’t matter.
If I recall correctly, I was with you that OTHER time you did acid. I even recall our having a few moments of “oh shit my mom’s going to kill me!” then… that, and Jimmy Page being IN THE ROOM with me.
I don’t regret that at all. You were funny.
No Jimmy Page, but hey….
YOu LiTtle MinX!!!
I regret getting involved with certain people in relationships. They ended badly.
I regret not flying to Toronto for a wild weekend of Dear Robot sex when we were both single.
I think that I paid money to see them in a bar in Montreal….
Actually, I regret not having copies, more than anything.
I regret letting my 19 year old Puerto Rican stripper girlfriend take all those pictures of me and her doing it. I know they’re out there. I already found one on the interweb. It’s just my hand, though.
Dude it’s never too late to do more drugs. I can hook you up! hehehehe Of course if you don’t like drugs why regret not doing more?
I also have wondered about the abundantly friended people. There have been a couple of times in my life when I’ve had a group, and it’s great fun. But I left mine back in Ottawa. How the hell do I get one here? Everyone else has one!
Oh, and I love my blueberry iMac. So pretty.