Us: So stop me if I’m wrong. The world is warming up.

Scientists: …as we have been saying for a few years now, yes.

Us: Really?

Scientists: Yes!

Us: I think we would have noticed if you had mentioned it. I mean you’re like …wow… big brains and all. You command respect when you say something.

Scientists: We told you way back in the 70s! You were too busy with your discos and cocaine parties. (Mumbling) Which we weren’t invited to.

Us: Science brought us coke…

Scientists: (rubbing eyes) Yeah. Okay. Our bad. Now. About the warming.

Us: Well it seems to us that since we’re all in this mess and you have the big brains…

Scientists: (wary) …yes….

Us: …that you should really be working on faster than light travel…

Scientists: Oh lord…

Us: So that we can go to Mars or some other planet to, you know…

Scientists: Use.

Us: Yah. Use.

Scientists: Why don’t we try to change things here?

Us: Uh hun! No way! That means giving up my car. Possibly my Costco membership.

Scientists: Look. If we do build an FTL ship, I can assure you that Scientists will be Atlas Shrugging our way on it as soon as we can.

Us: …Is. That some sort of code?