Day One

Day Two and Three

Day Four and Five

Day Six and Seven

Day Six – COZUMEL AND SEGWAYS
Despite everything you’ve heard and read about Segways, they will fall over, they will crash and they will hurt you. Don’t be lulled into the lie that they’re the “transporter of the future”, because they’re actually very uncomfortable and touchy machines, much like a skittish pony with diarrhea. I couldn’t see someone actually using one as a utility vehicle. You just stand there, really. Not much else.

But, you can say the same about inline skates, really.

Try standing for twenty minutes only slightly changing your stance every so often. You just stand there, really. Not much else. Try standing for twenty minutes only slightly changing your stance every so often, it gets hard on the knees and feet.

Though I grouse, Segways are actually a ton of fun to ride. I couldn’t see someone actually using one as a utility vehicle.

The Segway and Snorkel Safari was the “I feel dirty for taking it” excursion I insisted on doing while in Cozumel. Apparently fallout from throwing wads of cash at Storm-surviving Cozumel was to get all sorts of weird new attractions. Hence the Segways. About 20 of us walked a bit of a distance from the port to a “gentleman’s” bar to suit up and watch a short but hillarious video of Segway saftey. Many spills can be taken! Especially if you place babies on the handlebars.

We Segwayed and then shopped in Cozumel. Which was extremely satisfying. The market was full of fun trinkets and we spent the most there.

Back to the boat before the sky opened up. It rained for about 20 minutes and we had clouds for the rest of the evening.

Day Seven – GRAND CAYMAN AND STINGRAYS
Stingrays! Back to these “vacuum cleaners of the Caribbean Sea”. Gentle as cats and yet still able to illicit a child’s scream louder than Armageddon itself (as one parent on our tour was unfortunate to discover). I felt at peace with these creatures. I wish I could flab my sides and glide around. If I did that now, my sides would just jiggle. A lot.

We then scooted over to a remote reef outcrop for some snorkeling and I had a blast. I saw Shelly’s cousin but wasn’t cool with diving down the 20ft to go get her. And this time the tour guide in the boat utterly poo-pooed the idea of brining one home. I wonder how I got away with getting Shelly home last year…?

Back on land and we had a quick visit to Hell. Yep. Hell, Grand Cayman. Odd place in the middle of the island. Outcropping of volcanic rock that looked painful.

Dinner was lobster, and then on top of that, it was the midnight buffet. Oh lord did I eat?! YES LORD I DID!