Right by our place there is a row of halfway houses where the occupants are able (for the most part) come and go all day long. Sharkboy and I like to name each porch-sitting occupant and classify their offence:
“He’s Robbie. He was convicted for selling counterfit subway tokens.”
“That one with the meshback hat is Dwayne. He’s in for just looking bad.”
“Yonder is Pete. Got done for huffing Roots aftershave and going on a boob squeezing frenzy.”
This morning at 6:45, Sharkboy and I were passing one of these homes and a short man, dressed in an XXL tee that tented his lithe frame came bounding out of a doorway, cigarette balanced on his lips. He starts to run.
As he passes us, the baggy track pant cut-off shorts he’s wearing gives up a cheap cutlery knife with a slightly bent blade. Yeah the kind you used in high school for hot knives. It clatters to the pavement in a symphony of embarassment. Skinny turns back, grabs the knife and starts into his apologies:
“Mumble… knife is mumble… its for mumble mumble to a black guy. Mumble.”
He runs off. “Pretty good for a smoker,” Sharkboy comments.
8 thoughts on “Run, Knife Guy! Run!”
she wasn’t a fellow, but maybe he had a ladyfriend calling. she was, to be polite, also unsavoury.
We have a fire escape that is partially blocked by a wire cage that holds propane tanks. Whah?
You probably saw our upstairs neighbour. Unsavoury fellow.
stetson-wearing raccoons?
do you guys have a back balcony/fire escape? i saw a crazy crackperson up there today on my way home from the grocery store, but for all i know, she could be one of the neighbours.
Yes. It’s called Stetson. That’ll drive them away.
Fags in my neighbourhood keep eating all my chicken wings, is there a spray I can use?
salvage’s dad: Hey how did these knives get all black on the blade?
salvage: Science experiment; testing the first law of thermodynamics.
salvage’s dad: Oh. Well don’t use the good flatware.
i do love this neighbourhood. if we could just get rid off the yuppits and the fags we’d be set.
Check your email, B. Just sent a hello.
Hey, I can’t even do that and I don’t smoke!
I can’t find your email address adn would be interested in looking finally at wordpress. Blogger has been deleting lots of people’s profiles lately and I think it is about time to make the switch.