From the Bad Dog Theatre Forums:

Punched Up, is a 13-episode mockumentary series satirizing makeover programs and reality TV. New to the Comedy Network, and premiering nation-wide this Fall, Punched Up seeks, GTA and surrounding area residents of all walks looking to perk up their lives with an infusion of laughter.

Are you…

-An actor, singer, comedian or TV host, but your delivery needs a little fine-tuning?
-A professor, lecturer, or young urban professional, but your presentation is old and tired?
-A barista or bartender needing help with over-the-counter chitchat?
-A parking attendant or meter maid looking to defuse hostile confrontations?
-A businessman whose schtick needs a tune-up in order to boost sales?
-A stripper willing to get punched up if it means better tips?
-A doctor, looking to improve your bedside manner?
-Unemployed and looking for work, but your approach leaves much to be desired?
-The last one invited out every Saturday night because you’re not the life of the party?
-Single and looking for love, because you don’t know any good pickup lines?
-Someone considering proposing to your mate, but just can’t find the right words?

If you’re ready to make a change and find the funny, tell us your story. All you have to do is fill out the application below, describing why you think you are the ideal candidate for the show and what areas in your life need ‘punching up.’ It’s as easy as that..

Here’s what I sent:

Age
40

Gender
M

1. What do you do?
Webmaster for a travel wholesaler

2. Married?
No

3. With children?
Does a Tetra fish count? No? Then no.

4. What makes you think you need Punching Up?
I have a 9 to 5 job and aspire to own a trailer in a gay campground one day.

5. Living situation? (Roommates, family, friends, pets?)
Living with significant other and one other roommate

6. Are there any events coming up in your life that could use a comedic shot
in the arm?
I haven’t had a job review in years. I would like to ask for one.

7. Punching up your life will obviously include others. Will your family
(wife, husband, roommate) participate?
Gay father, playwrite brother, boyfriend, boss would participate.

8. Briefly describe a typical day in your life.
7am to 9am – Gym. I’m battling 20lbs
9am to 9:30am – Subway to work
9:30am to 5:30pm – Manage a 3000++ page website alone while trying to teach computer illiterate people that the internet is great, but not Christ risen from the dead come to make us tons of money just by showing up (“Can we get podcasts? Wait…what *is* a podcast?” I roll eyes)
5:30pm to 6pm – Subway home. Avoid freaks
Dinner
7pm to 10pm – Freelance web and print work for an S&M bar
11pm – Sleep. Maybe.

9. What makes you think you are the perfect candidate to be Punched Up?
I’m pretty boring. I hate going out and I’m a typical chubby ex-dotcom bust geek trying to get by.

10. Will you be attending our Toronto Open Call?
Sure!

I got a call to come in on Sunday which sent me into a happy dance in the middle of the Dominion at College and Yonge (not easy to do, those isles are narrow!) and when I told Sharkboy he said:

“That’s great. But you’ll be on a train to Brockville to go get your mom’s car.”

Crap!

I’ve emailed an apology. I hope they can reschedule.

Wish me a broken leg.