I’m beginning to log all my bad Tim Hortons experiences. Therapy? Bitterness? Old Coot-ism? Who can say. It’s certainly a wake up call (and makes for interesting blog content).
Dead Robot
The space between gay and straight, stupid and smart.
34 thoughts on “New Feature!”
Kinky—
NOT
one hand to masturbate, one hand to feed yourself butter tarts, and one hand to type.
You have to pick A HAND? only one?
Men are so complicated….
I use my bowling wrist brace on the masturbating hand. The slight restriction of blood flow makes it feel like someone else.
Someone who bowls, just like me.
bowling is a cult, just like beekeeping or graphic design.
speak out against it and you’ll find yourself being chased by people with funny shoes and wrist braces on the hand they don’t use to masturbate.
Bowling?
I came here to complain about the fact that those lousy bastards at Tim’s always seem to put my lid on so that the mouth hole is directly above the seam in the cup. I HATE THAT!!
But I love bowling!
I was my hometown’s 5 pin champion for 3 years.
I’m not braggin’; I’m just sayin’.
I’ve got my own 5 pin balls.
. . .that’s braggin.
So, let me get this straight:
It’s okay to slam South Asians as being mere “slave labour” and it’s okay to be quite rude about poor people with accents that may or may not deliver your Earl Grey tea in the right cup or toast your English muffin to perfection
BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO TEASE SOMEONE ABOUT BOWLING???
Too Canadian for me!!!! Lighen up, boise.
It seems a lot easier to speak your mind and attack other people’s ideas in this media form. Although everyone has the right to his/her own opinion, they can be quite cerebral, quite researched or simply quite childish… Please don’t ever try to win an argument by defending your opinions by dismissing someone because he/she bowls.
do not run onto the battlefield without the knowledge and acceptance of said knowledge that you most likely will be shot. Thank you all for all of the lumps, shots and accepted wounds and things to ponder…and the once again established mantra…think before you speak.
My breasts are Somalian!!!!!
(love the robots above, btw.)
With an name like “Synenko” I thought you were Somalian! Hum! Learn new things every day.
oh laddie, me thinks you’ve created a MUNSTA…
So nice to rant.
To have a place to rant.
I danced on a table tonight with a really young (re: hung) guy…
I won’t rant, least I fester a nerve….
(sigh, the one thing about being old and godless is that you can tell them (young men) they may suckle at your bosom and feel NO SHAME…)
Happy Paddy’s Day, especially to my Irish Catholic mama (passed) and my Russian Jewish papa (always passing gas!)
ok, furrywolf, i politely tried to toss your first comment aside with a semi-joking response, and DR even kindly gave you an out by positing that you had ironic intention, but your next comment really doesn’t have much place in civil society.
“too much eastern asian immigration. Its a fact that they are allowed here to become slave like labor force.”
i hope you don’t believe that, because it’s not only untrue, but rather ignorant. canada’s immigration policy has nothing to do with providing any sort of pool from which to draw our lower-income workers. rather, people from all over are welcome to come here to live in the hope that they might contribute to our society/the economy/the world in general in ways that might not have been apparent in their homelands, and all for incredibly varied reasons. some move due to overt political strife, some due to religious or sexual or racial or gender persecution, some because the world is a big ball of entertaining differences and they want to experience them firsthand. we have white collar immigrants, blue collar immigrants, and immigrants who haven’t a stitch of clothing, yet they’re pretty much all welcome. note that even you were welcome, despite your relatively low-level of persecution and suffering in your own land, and the fact that your english skills are sub-par (yes, to me, they are, just as you judge the communication skills of those eastern asian others).
“My whole beef with any fast food employee…immigrant or not…is the major language of Canada is ENGLISH. You should not have a public service job if you cannot speak or understand ENGLISH. I do not think that anyone that has read or commented on this column can disagree with that statement.”
we have two official languages here, and recognition of many, many others, primarily native tongues. public service jobs are doled out to people who have few other options or to those who genuinely enjoy working them. insistence upon a monolingual environment is contrary to the principles of many of us, i’d wager; it certainly is to me. i live in one of the more multicultural areas of one of the most multicultural cities in one of the most multicultural countries of the world for a reason: i like the variety, beauty and simple sensual pleasure that being constantly exposed to diversity brings.
if you can’t effectively communicate with the people in the land to which you’ve emigrated, perhaps you ought to reconsider your willingness to fit in. don’t wind up a toronto sun reader who carps about kirpans, turbans and gibberish, please — we’ve plenty of those types already, and if canada is prepared to begin curbing immigration of any identifiable group, we might just begin with the one to which you belong.
sorry for the long rant, DR. i tried to be polite, for once. and, thanks for correcting my italics error upthread and for seconding a bit of my initial post. anna: i’m as saintly as they come. honest.
Oh, I forgot, I like your fish – but that’s on another page.
I like sharks!!!
I should have said of First Nation decent because anyone born here could be said to be a native of Canada.
GAWD forbid someone think me a racist (just alluding to Anna’s Jamaican mama’s sucking noise comment unless of course she is a decendant of a Jamaican mama – then she can say whatever she wants (insert head swivel here)).
Since FurryWolf had a rant let me….
Anna, dear, at 5’10” and 170 pounds I’m hardly fat and not taken as a bear even though bearded and furry (but don’t think I have the teeth to be an otter).
The Lutheran Minister father and OBGYN mother that raised me in Quebec at french schools for the first 5 years even though our Irish immigrant family spoke english and Gaelic – talk about near-dead languages… (i’m first generation Canadian – so basically an immigrant) told me the people that spoke funny (the english) had a camp to go to (french camp for 4 summers in a friggin row to get up to speed) were the minority in the province. And unless you parents are native to canada hopefully no one else will put their two cents in…
I curl – a very Canadian and Irish sport thank you and dress well because I can afford to because while in administration now I also did the shitty jobs early on – if you read my bit earlier… – I even made dog food for a few months back in high school – and not the nice dry stuff but the stuff in cans.
When service is not up to the standards the company portrays, I know enough to be assertive yet polite to those trying to earn their living having had people in the past freak out at me or near me and therefore understand how ignorant people can be towards each other.
I do hang out at Home Depot but not just for the eye-candy or near the washrooms but because I have a house that needs repair from time to time and because I work hard and can afford the things they sell.
That being said I prefer the HD at Eglinton and Laird than the one at Gerrard Square because they have more stuff and sometimes to do have to make the hard dedision of which to attend.
I’m not sure what powdery soup is but if you spit in it while my Green eyes were rolling at you I would probably be tempted to throw the bowl at you or have you fired assuming you are one of the people behind the counter offering less than “standard” service.
Let’s see did I miss anything, TED? Sorry for taking up so much space but sometimes I just feel like a good rant even if directed wrongly.
Suddenly Andrew looks like a saint…
too much eastern asian immigration. Its a fact that they are allowed here to become slave like labor force. I immigrated for same-sex couple reasons as my own country does not allow same sex couple immigration, let alone canadians to immigrate (unless job sponsored, retired or married in a heterosexual marriage and for certain NOT if you are HIV positive).
And yes I do bowl, in the Toronto Historial Bowling league which has the distinction of being the OLDEST organized gay bowling league in NORTH AMERICA…not just Canada. My whole beef with any fast food employee…immigrant or not…is the major language of Canada is ENGLISH. You should not have a public service job if you cannot speak or understand ENGLISH. I do not think that anyone that has read or commented on this column can disagree with that statement.
also note…not a big fat furball…only losely consider myself a bear and I admittedly speak with a forrest gump like southern accent that will never go away no matter where I live. I am an immigrant, but I speak ENGLISH. blast away…but its totally misplaced.
I bowled too until the politics got too much. I still have the clear bowling ball with the skull in it and the shoes.
All of us should take Andrew’s comment to heart about all of us being immigrants to this fine country. None of us have “dibs” on being here first (except for Andrew because, well, do you want to fuck with him?).
(cue patriotic music)
This land is as great as the sum of it’s parts. Out of all my travels, I always come back home happy for the experience away yet feeling priveledged and proud, in an not-often-shouty kind of way, that I live in such a great place.
But man does it suck to get shitty service at Tims.
Still…he “bowls”!!!!
Anna, I think you meant Furry*Wolf* and I think he was being highly ironic because he’s immigrated to Canada within the last year.
I’m trying hard to not blast FurFace…but—
You big fat fur ball! The gay bears when I was growing up made sure I was a politicalized creature: they reminded me that some that “spoke funny” (ie with a effeminate lisp) were slapped with a pink triangle on their sleeves and sent to the camps…
and you what? BOWL?
The world is divided into those that languish over the tough decisions like which Home Depot to hang out at and those that pull up stakes and take the shittest jobs in their new country and get dissed by badly dressed hairy bowlers…
I’m an immigrant and I’d spit in your powdery soup if you dared to roll your (blue?) eyes at me….
(insert Jamaican mama’s sucking noise here…)
See, Starbucks has it right. They drill their staff to speak a whole new language (almost based on the American diner slang with pretentious Italian names) and then pass that language onto their clients. Try to go into a Starbucks and order an “extra large” tea. They’ll correct you without malace (politely, hopefully) but correct you just the same. Go back later and do it again, they’ll correct you again.
And hey presto, your order is correct because you’re speaking their language. Profit!
It’s much like the Starpukes lingo… unless you say “double double” they have no idea.
Great idea! I hope you’ll continue your tea tally with each posting, it rocks.
I didnt want to turn this into an immigration debate.
I will agree with Andrew that Tims gives bad service, regardless of the server’s point of origin, sex, headgear, disability, sexual orientation, religious artifact stashed away in their underwear, piercings, speech impediment, pet choice, edible pet choice, car make, upbringing, genetic deficiency, choice of animal muse, hand cream choice, iPod useage, uses “straight acting” in their web profiles, self-hating, smoking, poly-monogamous lifestyle or shoe colour preferences. The point I am trying to make is that Tim Horton doesn’t train their staff well enough and you can have some pretty wild moments of customer service.
I agree, Tim Horton’s is only well served in the country side, hours out of the big city, where a translator is not needed to order a simple 2 extra large Earl Grey Teas with Milk, pouch in, with 2 blueberry bagels toasted with cream cheese and a mix of 12 cookies to go please. In Toronto, I would have been stopped at 2 extra…
“The writing is on the wall… Canada has allowed TOO MUCH immigration….”
agreed. now all of you people who (or whose ancestors) arrived here after 1400, get the fuck off of our land.
anyone who patronises tim horton’s with any regularity deserves the bad service.
I don’t bother with Timmy’s in any big city – too many language barriers. I prefer small-town Tim’s where lots of english-as-a-first-language school kids work not ESL adults.
Sorry if that annoys but come on it’s counter service – I did my time when I was 14…
Counterservice that is.
partner and I bowl on Fridays at Thorncliff. SO, we tend to eat at the Timmy’s/Wendy’s combo on Overlea. You must order one item at a time…Ham and cheese sandwich on BROWN…never say wheat, it is not understood. For some reason, Brown is understood. Then ask for mustard, then ask for it toasted. You will never get both…its a crap shoot on which you get. More often than not, you get NEITHER! But you will get wheat bread if you say BROWN. One wonders what the correct words for MUSTARD AND TOASTED ARE! Its worse when you ask for crackers with your soup. They do not offer or stock them, and glaze over like a stoner if you ask why they do not have them. A quick walk over to Wendys, and they give you crackers as they provide them with their salads and chili. Sometimes they want to charge you a quarter for the package containting two saltines. What is wrong with this picture? Soup goes with crackers, at least it does where I am from and how I grew up…and why, if the restaurants are in combo in one location…can they not just take a box of wendy’s crackers and give them out with their soup? OH…and never ask for coin change(bowling requires a toonie for the 12 buck bowling fees) It confuses the living shit out of them to give you 5 bucks in change instead of a bill. The writing is on the wall…Canada has allowed TOO MUCH immigration…and its not necessarily the BEST candidates for immigration!
For a fun rant and rave…ask the partner about ordering at any fast food burger joint and saying WITHOUT PICKLE. (I order extra pickle, lol). 99% of the time the burger arrives with pickle. I have been witness to a return trip to the counter, opening of said burger and them being flicked onto the counter for all to see. Its embarassing to me…but hey…NO pickle means NO PICKLE. lol. ’nuff said
I’m SO INTO THIS. The other day I ordered takeout soup and then I got back to my office and they’d given me the soup all right, BUT NO FUCKING SPOON.
I could see how your order would blow out any counter drone’s circuits. That’s waaaay too much for them to touch on their order screens.
I’ve gone to ordering one item at a time. Tea…let them punch it in. Bagel… punch it in.
Try the store at Bay just south of Bloor, Ted (or maybe not). In slow and precisely enunciated English, I ordered an extra-large steeped tea with milk and sugar, and a sesame bagel, toasted, with light garden vegetable cream cheese. I was given a large black coffee by the counter drone, and when I complained, she shrugged and said “tea?”. When I unwrapped the bagel at home, it was an un-toasted “everything” bagel with full fat regular cream cheese.
I complained to head office who promised to speak with the franchisee, but I haven’t been back to test them yet.
… and what gives with positioning the display case so that one is forced to use X-ray spex to see through customers in the queue?