This morning I am killing time at my local Starbucks (dont want to get into work too early) when I overhear two women commenting on the poor gentleman who set himself on fire at Queens Park:
“Why didn’t they take him down like the guy at Union Station?”
“Yeah! I mean that was efficient!”
They continue on in this vein like they both were the Seargent in charge while this whole thing was going down. Not once did they mention the fact that the police couldn’t see into the van and confirm if it was full of explosives (hence their reluctance to storm the van). I look over and the women in question are skinny, baby-making trophy wives that inhabit Lawrence and Yonge.
My Gameboy was promptly turned on.
Later the same day, I was waiting at the counter of my local McDees and two granola grandmas come up behind me and start into their fussing. Both have white hair, hippy-dippy clothes and have glazed eyes like they’ve never been in a McDonalds before. After much conversation about what kind of food they liked, one of them asks “You don�t have Harvest Burgers, do you?”
Well. First of all I hate it when people phrase questions like that. Its negative – like you know the answer and you should not be asking yet you do anyway. I know I do it sometimes but I still hate it. She asks again. Blank stare from the counter drone. Then when she got no reply she asked again!
The clerk behind the counter laughs. The Granola Grandma laughs. The clerk stops laughing and apologizes. Then, after a pause where both people stare at each other in another awkward silence, Granola Granny asks AGAIN!
I went ballistic: “This is McDonalds! No they don’t!”
The Granola Granny looks at me and says “No? They don’t?” Still phrasing her response in a question.
“You’re not an idiot, aren’t you?” But I dont say it. The clerk and I say “NO.” At the same time.
Later, they sat behind me (I was half way through my burger by the time the decided to order salads, decide where to sit and discovered the hard way that forks were in the bag)…and proceeded to ruin all of the movie Constantine for me!
What the hell are Granola grannies doing at Constantine? At least she saved me $9.95.
I don’t think I am becoming misogynistic, just misanthropic.
4 thoughts on “Women’s Opinions, or Granola Grannies Get My Goat”
If you start to make money, I want a cut!
Just kidding.
Did you notice that I have a Cafepress store too?
I like the concept of Cafepress but the shirts are crap. Three washings and they flake up.
Hey this is the guy you thought bout suing! Sorry to tell you, I didnt get the idea of “DEADrobot” from you, Im 17 and honestly drew shit up in class back in 03 and just recently put them on cafepress. Your comics are great tho, nice story line. if you want, i’ll even throw a link to your site on mine.
Awful movie. I’d say they did you a favour, dude.
Maybe you should lay off the caffeine and then you wouldn’t lose your stick when your satisfying your craving for freshly fried acrylamides.
And now you only have a few short weeks before Constancetine comes to DVD at a BBuster near you.