Dearest Jeff.

No, I should be calling you Jim now I guess. I worry about you, buddy! I mean there’s lots of people out there who think you’re a linchpin to some flamboyant house of cards within the White House. And they can’t stop tugging on your personal life!! This whole thing is just becoming bizzare.

If you need a place to stay you can always come to Canada and start a new life as a writer for Stephen Harper. They’ve said they’d welcome gays into their party as long as they eepkay eirthay outhsmay utshay about the whole aygay arriagemay thing. Wink.

Secretly, I hope for you that this whole thing is a subversive advertising ploy for Marc Cherry’s newest prime time soap: Desperate Whitehouse Wives.

Hang in there, Jeff Jim. How much more can they scrape up?

(Link via Hairy Fish Nuts)